tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45876177892847043062024-03-14T00:26:19.935-03:00Blip on the RadarMark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-89706122182792038612019-10-03T11:17:00.003-03:002019-10-03T11:25:16.364-03:00Rise of a Batman Villain<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i>Note: This</i><i> essay was written in June, 2017. It's about what I was perceiving as real life Batman villains entering the US political arena, told through the prism of </i><i>Martin</i><i> Shkreli and his dealing with members of the Wu-Tang Clan. An entertainment site had accepted it for publication, and then, unable to find a place for it in the news cycle, returned it to me. Shit happens. I like this piece, so I'm posting it here. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">It barely mattered that Martin Shkreli was the son of immigrant Albanian and Croatian working class parents. Economically, physically, and in terms of his publicized bad behaviour, he fit the role of the rich white male enemy. Known as both “pharmabro” and “the most hated man on Earth,” Shkreli became a key figure in the internet culture wars, as well as a harbinger of a changing world landscape. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">One part of the Martin Shkreli story made national headlines: As CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals, he raised the price of a life-saving drug called Daraprim, used to treat rare conditions toxoplasmosis and cystoisosporiasis as well as prevent complications with HIV/AIDS, from $13.50 to $750 per pill, a 5000% increase.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Yet, Shkreli’s brush with notoriety didn’t end here. He wanted to push his celebrity further, and decided to do so by picking a fight with famous Staten Island rap outfit the Wu-Tang Clan. Shkreli could propel his star by latching onto hip-hop culture--upsetting its fans by attempting to control the distribution of art, and displaying a clearly troubling stereotypical appropriation of black mannerisms. It was a new means for a new type of celebrity: The real life supervillain. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">This supervillain label really crystallized with a video that Shkreli leaked online on January 28, 2016. Appearing on camera in a dark blazer covering a dress shirt buttoned down to his chest (and looking exactly as threatening as that description implies), the 32-year-old launched into a diatribe aimed at Wu-Tang Clan rapper Ghostface Killah (aka Ghostface, aka Tony Starks, born Dennis Coles).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Dennis! I’m gonna call you by your government name. You’re not a Ghostface Killah, I’m sorry.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Though Shkreli’s statement implies he’s encountered other, more genuine ghostface killahs, he doesn’t bother defining “ghostface killah” as a term for his audience of over one-million viewers. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“For whatever reason, you think it’s okay to beef with me. But that’s a big mistake. You’re an old man who’s lost his relevance, and you’re trying to reclaim the spotlight from me. That’s not gonna work, and if you ever say this dumb shit again, this album, this <i>Shaolin</i>, I’m gonna erase all your shit from this album.”</span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Shkreli is daintily holding a glass of white wine in the hand he uses for pointing at the camera. His other hand is used for horizontal karate chop gestures—a form of “talking with your hands” body language, if one’s language is based upon a misunderstood appreciation of martial arts movies and hip-hop. For example, he emphasizes the phrase “all your shit from this album” with a left to right hand motion that alternatively signifies slicing someone’s throat.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Shkreli is surrounded by three taller masked members of his crew, cloaked in black, though the one on the right is wearing a The North Face hoodie and the one on the left speaks in a form of appropriative black dialect that feels like minstrelsy, although he’s saved of such accusations by a ski mask obscuring his flesh tone. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Shkreli agrees adding, “Without me, you’re nothing. I’m not gonna let this slide. I expect you to write me a written apology from the heart. You think you’re the only tough guy from New York City?” (TMZ)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span style="text-indent: 36pt;">The video feels like bad community theatre, the type where participants can’t find inspiration, so they resort to the tough guy posturing of a Tarantino-influenced film school project. Attempting to begin his own “rap feud” - the type that made headlines between Ice Cube and Cypress Hill (Cypress Hill felt Cube had stolen some lines from their song “Throw Your Set in the Air,” which resulted in three call-and-response dis-tracks titled, “No Rest for the Wicked,” “King of the Hill,” and “Ice Cube</span><span style="text-indent: 36pt;"> </span><span style="text-indent: 36pt;"> </span><span style="text-indent: 36pt;">Killa”), Lil’ Kim and Nicki Minaj (Kim repeatedly claimed Minaj stole her look, to which Minaj replied she was being used by Kim to revive her career), Nas and Jay Z (nobody really understands this one), or, later in the pop realm, Taylor Swift and Katy Perry (something about stealing one another's tour dancers followed by media remarks on female solidarity) - the most common response Shkreli managed to evoke was embarrassment.</span><span style="text-indent: 36pt;"> </span><span style="text-indent: 36pt;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span style="text-indent: 36pt;">The nature of Shkreli’s beef has an intriguing context. On November 24, 2015, he purchased the only copy of Wu-Tang Clan’s most recent (and unheard by the public) album, the double-CD</span><span style="text-indent: 36pt;"> </span><i style="text-indent: 36pt;">Once Upon a Time in Shaolin</i><span style="text-indent: 36pt;">, for the price of $2 million. It’s up to Shkreli to release the album as he sees fit, if at all, and his demeanour doesn’t indicate he wants to do any favours. Ghostface expressed that this was unfair to fans. What Shkreli was doing was more than just a pathway to public villainy, it’s a pathway to the appropriative world of performative rap villainy.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">It’s instructive that Ghostface Killah’s response to Shkreli video response (again on video, and again placed online for public consumption) begins with a clip from the 1966-1969 live-action <i>Batman </i>TV series, where The Penguin (Burgess Meredith) sics his goons with the call to action, “All right, boys! Armed umbrellas!” Ghostface was seeing Shkreli as “a fake-ass supervillain,” a human cartoon who cared less about the impression he was making than of making one at all. </span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Batman villains are, in general, a different species from other superheroes’ nemeses because their goals are less about illegal accumulation of wealth than receiving credit for disturbing social ruin. Chaos is a form of power. Fame is its own reward. They often start as well-meaning people who are somehow wronged by those in power, and transformed into grotesque vengeful nihilists.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span style="text-indent: 36pt;">Now, it’s uncertain whether Shkreli was ever wronged by his boss, an acquaintance, or by society at large, but his endgame is essentially the same as The Riddler’s, The Joker’s or Ra’s al Ghul’s. He cares about being known at the cost of virtue. What Batman stories teach us is that there’s a thin line between good and evil, healthy and insane, and any of us could slip to the other side without notice. Ghostface may be “an old man,” but he’s able to recognize the onset of this new breed of American threat.</span><span style="text-indent: 36pt;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Check his face out, man. Carved up, nose. Walking around with fake goons like he’s tough and he ain’t got a real bone in his body. I’m just letting y’all know, he’s a fraud. And on top of that,” gesturing to a paused television image of Shkreli’s head imposed on Pee-Wee Herman’s body, “you want to come at me after you done bought a Wu-Tang album for $2 million, acting like we washed up rappers? I’m a washed up rapper, but you bought a washed up rapper’s album for $2 million! Who’s washed up now?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Ghostface catches himself caught up in the same mode of insults and braggadocio of his opponent, switching to the moral high ground of, “I don’t care how much money you got, cause money don’t make you a man, bro.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">This eleven-minute response video is easier to digest than Shkreli’s taunt, even as it employs a similar tactic. There’s less of a sense that Ghostface is playacting, hence condescending himself to his opponent. There’s also one surprising moment here—a change of tone that brings the inanities of celebrity culture drama, performative outrage and weaponized misuse of social media down to earth. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /> There’s suddenly a knock at his kitchen door, and three women enter wearing white t-shirts bearing the title “2 MIL SUCKER’ and Shkreli’s face inside the Wu-Tang Clan symbol. One of these women is established as Ghostface’s mother, who taunts Shkreli’s idiocy while Ghostface paces in the background muttering variations of “Tell him, mom.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The second woman’s identity isn’t revealed, and the third is his sister, who leans in for a close-up, and puts everything in perspective. She immediately starts crying, and if it seems too well-timed to her speech, it at least looks authentic. “I’m 59 years old. I never had medical insurance.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /> She then pulls back her hair to reveal a scar on her forehead where she had a brain tumour removed, admonishing the young entrepreneur for his business practices. It’s a moving moment even if its staging (and subsequent effort to push Ghostface’s own brand of CBD oil as medicinal alternative) feels opportunistic. (Drzodiaktv)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">It should also be stated that Martin Shkreli won’t publicly agree that his drug pricing is costing anyone their life. After threatening to “smack” Ghostface Killah over the air on the popular syndicated radio show <i>The Breakfast Club, </i>Shkreli (continuing his self-imposed publicity tour) told host Charlamagne tha God that it’s drug companies, not consumers, who would be footing the $750 per pill cost of Daraprim, and this was just standard competitive business.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Then don’t the drug companies have to charge [people] more for it?” Charlamagne retorted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Absolutely,” Shkreli said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Why do you want that?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“I don’t want that. This is one of the smallest drugs around. It’s rarely used.” (BreakfastClub)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">In other words, Shkreli is arguing that Daraprim’s price doesn’t matter, because not many people use it, anyway. It’s an empty logic, designed to sway the gullible. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">In a video interview, he flat out told a fashionably bored <i>Vice </i>reporter that he’s not evil. He after all has interests: chess, his hoverboard, video games, guitars, science, all normal enough things that make a young man seem to have human layers. (Vice) It’s his tendency to taunt American values callously and unapologetically in the public eye that’s so troubling. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Batman villains also like to taunt their opponent, and the populace at large, via televised threats.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">In the 1989 movie blockbuster <i>Batman</i>, The Joker (Jack Nicholson) does just this. Interrupting an <i>Action News </i>broadcast, an ad appears where the maniacal clown, seated in a beach chair against a tropical backdrop, flaunts his beauty product Smylex. Female models with grotesque perma-grins repeat the mantra , “Love that Joker!” The movie cuts back to the female news anchor, dead on the ground, bearing the same horrific mouth disfigurement. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Unlike Shkreli, The Joker isn’t after money. He even states that people have bought products containing Smylex already. Both are, however, after fame through grand statement. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The Joker has likewise created his own celebrity feud. “Batman! Batman? Can someone tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a bat steals all of my press.” It takes no leap of imagination to see echoes of that in, “You’re an old man who’s lost his relevance, and you’re trying to reclaim the spotlight from me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">A key element of the Tim Burton-directed film is that Batman and The Joker are artists of opposite stripes. One hates the media and prizes anonymity. The other wants fame at the cost of principle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“I make art till someone dies,” The Joker explains.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">These are cultural figures who, placing the lives of others in their hands, are also political ones. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">If Shkreli is going to be hated, like The Joker, he’s going to be hated on a grand scale. He’s going to affect people who haven’t heard about him. He’s going to make those people hear about him. The misguided idea is that one goal will cancel out the other, as if to ask, “How can I be evil if I’m famous?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"> “He has the power to do something really cool,” Wu-Tang leader RZA told a reporter. “He can do something to allow people to hear the record. That would be really good for art and really good for the Wu fans.”<b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Shkreli wasn’t finished trying to deny rap fans the music they like, either, as he pleaded with Kanye West three days before the Valentine’s Day 2016 release of his album <i>The Life of Pablo</i>to sell it to him instead, so he could of course keep it in storage and not listen to it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">His message “aiyo @kanyewest last minute can i buy your album so it dont get released publicly” (sic) was unreturned by West, but met with a flurry of annoyed Twitter replies. Then, as if for no reason but to annoy the Kanye West fanbase further, Shkreli added, “Kanye and his label are legally required to take my offer to their Board of Directors. This should delay the album by a few days.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">User @HouseShoes fired back, “I cannot wait til someone beats you up.” His reply was Liked by other Twitter users 293 times. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Shkreli never ended up making a deal with Kanye West for <i>The Life of Pablo, </i>and as far as the public record is concerned, no one has beaten him up yet. Today, he hosts a YouTube vlog, where listeners Skype with him live on air, often seeking financial advice or administering abuse.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The act has made Shkreli an antihero for partisan times. He’s become a figurehead of sorts for the alt-right, a development in far right ideology that rejects mainstream conservatism, and that’s fringes include White Nationalism. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Like any cultural figure worthy of attention, performance is as important as policy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“What’s up? What’s up?” Shkreli tries to get the attention of a young black woman who has appeared on his video stream. “Wit yo fake ass eyebrows. What’s up?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">His racial trolling gets her attention. “Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. You talking to me?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“Yeeeaahhh.” His face lights up as he tries on this forced Southern drawl. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“All right, let me talk to you. Your fuckin’ face disturbs me. But that’s not why I called in,” she says, her voice getting louder with every sentence. “Why I called in is because you’re a stupid piece of shit!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">At this, Shkreli stands up, plucking at the electric guitar he’s holding, pacing the room.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“You are killing people!” she continues. “You are so obsessed with black people, but you’re killing people in Africa by jacking up the prices of HIV, AIDS and Malairia medications. So fuck you!”</span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">With this, Shkreli puts his face in the camera, mugging, playing every hurtful black stereotype he can think about at once.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“So what if I did? So what? So what??”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The Martin Shkreli Minstrel Show is a truly ugly sight, but it makes people mad. It gets him attention. It’s the emptiest goal of power, and one of the newest: The political figure who wants to become part of pop culture.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“You told Charlemagne that you want to smack Ghostface!” she replies, attempting to expose his cultural roleplaying for all its ridiculousness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">“I will! I’ll smack him! I’ll smack you, too!” (FreeMartinShkreli)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Sometime over the past ten years, the internet became this place of warring labels: the alt-right, Bernie Bros, SJWs, the Tumblr left, the South Park right. With it, arrive, people like Martin Shkreli who exist at ideological extremes to gain attention. As tolerance lessens, so does any willingness to understand, or respectfully communicate, with one’s opposition. Shkreli was one of the first to reach this pedestal in a world opening its gates to bullies; people who give lip service to politics, but are really about the elevation of the self. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">After Edward Nygma rebranded himself as public nuisance The Riddler on the influential noir toned <i>Batman: The Animated Series </i>(1992), he trapped Commissioner Gordon in a virtual reality video game, forcing Batman and Robin to solve his puzzles, or risk Gordon’s, and their own, demise. It’s as unproductive an exercise in cruel power as Shkreli wishing to deny listeners the chance to hear Wu-Tang Clan and Kanye West albums simply because he can. The name of the episode: “What is Reality?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">When the Joker falls to his death at the end of <i>Batman</i>, authorities are puzzled to still hear laughter emanating from his body. From his coat pocket, an investigator removes a gag laughing-prop, still cackling. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">It’s unknown where Shkreli’s saga will lead next. But he paved the way for a new order of Batman villains: He disturbed the flow of life and seemed to be having fun doing it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Works Cited<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Bloomberg, “Wu-Tang’s RZA Doesn’t Regret Selling Album to Martin Shkreli,” Jan 6, 2016<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Breakfast Club Power 105.1 FM, “Martin Shkreli Interview at The Breakfast Club Power 105.1 (02/03/2016),” Deb 3, 2016<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Drzodiaktv, “Ghostface Killah Kills Martin Shkreli (Verbally, Politically, & Emotionally),” Feb 19, 2016<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">FreeMartinShkreli, “Martin Shkreli attempts to bring an ignorant racist back to reality [WARNING MELTDOWN],” Feb. 22, 2016<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">TMZ, “Martin Shkreli – Shut Your Mouth Ghostface Killah – My Goons Will Take You Out!!,” Jan. 28, 2016<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Vice, “Martin Shkreli On Drug Prices and Playing the World’s Villain,” Jan 29, 2016</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-70645757204726777002017-12-31T13:51:00.001-04:002017-12-31T14:09:55.255-04:002017 IN REVIEW<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
It's maybe because I'm no longer required to watch movies I wouldn't see otherwise, but 2017 struck me as a strong year for cinema. If there wasn't much that was truly mind-blowing, there was still a lot of interesting stuff happening if you kept your eyes open.</div>
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<b>Top Movies of the Year:</b></div>
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1) <i>Your Name.</i> (Makoto Shinkai)</div>
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The title is about as bad as if the title were <i>Add Title</i>, but this time-and-gender swapping teen romance exhibits a visual flair (I don’t know how “eye-popping” is defined, except it’s this movie) and understanding of shared human longing that’s missing from most of contemporary culture’s status quo naval gazing. <i>Your Name.</i>’s Optimistic Pop Melancholia is anything but nondescript. </div>
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2) <i>Okja</i> (Bong Joon-ho)</div>
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Fine, it’s vegetarian agitprop. Yet the miracle of Bong Joon-ho’s film about the clash of innocence with corruption (about a young girl attempting to rescue her bioengineered superpig best friend from becoming packaged meat) is its ability to frame ideology as both humanist argument and startling fantasy thriller. It risks spectacle and plunges into tragedy. </div>
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<img height="225" src="https://statcdn.fandango.com/MPX/image/NBCU_Fandango/505/19/MyLifeasaZucchini_TRAILER1___169725.jpg" style="-webkit-user-select: none; display: block; margin: auto;" width="400" /></div>
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3) <i>My Life As a Zucchini</i> (Claude Barras)</div>
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This French-Swiss stop-motion animation about unloved children plumbs dark subtext (one character memorably quips that his parents “went completely nuts”—a kid movie side-admission as jolting as <i>Babe: Pig in the City</i>’s “My owner tied me in a bag and throwed me in the water”), but it’s <i>My Life as a Zucchini</i>’s delicacy, joy, queer-inclusivity, and bright bold colours that triumph.<br />
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<img height="167" src="https://media.gq.com/photos/59db98fa4ea8866a0b03b2d8/master/w_1777/blade-runner-sex.jpg" style="-webkit-user-select: none; display: block; margin: auto;" width="400" /></div>
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4) <i>Blade Runner 2049</i> (Denis Villeneuve)</div>
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Rather than repeating Ridley Scott’s hugely influential future-noir aesthetic, Denis Villeneuve takes it to its broken down endpoint, where a predatory social order (holographic women-playthings are mass produced and potential-Replicants better show their damn birth certificates) navigates a billboard-prison dustbowl. <i>Blade Runner 2049</i> gets tripped up on blockbuster-overplotting, but is a more emotional experience than the original, rendering complaints that it’s too “cold” especially suspect. </div>
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<img height="166" src="https://static.rogerebert.com/uploads/review/primary_image/reviews/before-i-fall-2017/hero_Before-I-Fall-2017.jpg" style="-webkit-user-select: none; display: block; margin: auto;" width="400" /></div>
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5) <i>Before I Fall</i> (Ry Russo-Young)</div>
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The most maddeningly reviewed American movie of the year. This is both a result of critics’ unwillingness to take teenage (especially teen girls (especially POPULAR teen girls)) emotional reckoning seriously when removed from camp artifice, and cultural dismissiveness of “kindness” as a virtue worthy of artistic focus, even in an epoch as dark as this one. <i>Before I Fall</i> uses the <i>Groundhog Day</i> template to clever, philosophic and humane ends evaded by the pointless <i>Happy Death Day</i>.<br />
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6) <i>Maudie</i> (Aisling Walsh)</div>
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Creativity as nourishment, and ultimately survival, in an intimate folk artist portrait. </div>
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<img height="166" src="https://static.rogerebert.com/uploads/review/primary_image/reviews/the-villainess-2017/hero_Villainess-2017.jpg" style="-webkit-user-select: none; display: block; margin: auto;" width="400" /></div>
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7) <i>The Villainess</i> (Jung Byung-gil)</div>
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Listen man, it has an opening first person perspective shootout that eclipses the one in <i>Strange Days</i>, and there’s an axe fight on a speeding bus where a dude is thrown out the door and onto an adjacent police car. It barely matters that I found the plot too convoluted to follow half the time. </div>
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8) <i>The Shape of Water</i> (Guillermo Del Toro)</div>
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On top of her difficult, felt <i>Maudie</i> performance, Sally Hawkins pretty much owns this whole year. <i>The Shape of Water</i>’s simple conceit excels at selling its more potentially ridiculous audience demands (like Hawkins’ decision to fuck an anthropomorphic lizard) and makes them feel not just like a natural course of events, but earned. </div>
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<img height="225" src="https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/06/twin-peaks-episode-8-recap-22-1498530192-640x360.jpeg" style="-webkit-user-select: none; display: block; margin: auto;" width="400" /></div>
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9) <i>Twin Peaks: The Return Episode 8 </i>(David Lynch)</div>
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This TV episode is better than any “movie” I saw this year, however, it’s still officially a TV episode so it can’t be number one. The most abstract installment of the new <i>Twin Peaks</i> serves as an alternative creation myth about aberration.</div>
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10) <i>Black Mirror: San Junipero</i> (Owen Harris)</div>
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This is also TV. I’m a little jealous of this script. </div>
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<b>Runners up: </b></div>
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<i>Girls Trip</i>, <i>Coco</i>, <i>Kong: Skull Island</i>, <i>Logan Lucky</i>, <i>Get Out</i>, <i>The Beguiled</i>, <i>I Am Not Your Negro</i>, <i>Lady Bird</i>, <i>Wonder Woman</i><br />
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<img height="225" src="https://media.wmagazine.com/photos/58dbd344cf74215b1e291efb/master/pass/valerian1.jpg" style="-webkit-user-select: none; display: block; margin: auto;" width="400" /></div>
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<b>Underrated:</b></div>
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<i>Before I Fall</i>, <i>Ghost in the Shell</i>, <i>Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets</i></div>
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<b>Overrated:</b></div>
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<i>mother!</i>, <i>Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing Missouri</i>, <i>Dunkirk</i>, <i>Colossal</i>, <i>Baby Driver</i></div>
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<b>Fuck off:</b></div>
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<i>Better Watch Out</i> </div>
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<b>Not yet released, but recommended:</b></div>
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<i>Bodied</i>, <i>Black Cop</i>, <i>The Crescent</i></div>
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<img height="320" src="https://static.stereogum.com/uploads/2017/12/Charli-Pop-2-1513265753-640x640.jpg" style="-webkit-user-select: none; display: block; margin: auto;" width="320" /></div>
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<b>Top Albums of he Year:</b></div>
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1) Charli XCX - <i>Pop 2</i></div>
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2) St. Vincent - <i>Masseduction</i></div>
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3) Bj<span style="color: #6a6a6a; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-weight: bold;">ö</span>rk - <i>Utopia</i></div>
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4) Vince Staples - <i>Big Fish Theory</i></div>
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Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-3905357217919172042015-03-30T14:25:00.001-03:002015-03-30T14:25:53.066-03:00GET HARD and Get Angry<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRtWEJ6IqyWo3yw5GnNd_XyRTPbRji5VJhyphenhyphencTdK0xVsJaPpu0RPilv4S22Da4UMyrV9Vy_wTA213RfIet_DOCF-RWluCMFvi5ab8FWeYgsiWiW8rX96iLR9LRcUkKgh1qhh3gmacBz-s8/s1600/maxresdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRtWEJ6IqyWo3yw5GnNd_XyRTPbRji5VJhyphenhyphencTdK0xVsJaPpu0RPilv4S22Da4UMyrV9Vy_wTA213RfIet_DOCF-RWluCMFvi5ab8FWeYgsiWiW8rX96iLR9LRcUkKgh1qhh3gmacBz-s8/s1600/maxresdefault.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">“I
think this would have been easier to watch in 2008.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">The moral flogging that’s greeted the
release of <i>Get Hard</i> is less revealing of how movies have
changed than of how we have. What was once accepted and ignored is now the
target of op-eds like this one. What would have once been in questionable taste
is now everything we are not, if we’re to be seen as good people. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">You’ve probably heard at least one media
outlet’s despairing summary of the Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart comedy by now.
If not, I won’t sugarcoat it; there’s no way to make <i>Get
Hard</i> sound innocent. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This is a movie about a racist
white-collar millionaire (Ferrell) facing prison for tax evasion, who then, assuming
that most black people in America have been incarcerated, hires his car wash’s
manager (Hart) to show him preventative measures against getting raped by male
inmates. In the social media/social justice age, this is what we term
“problematic.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I can also point out that the
release of every movie featuring gigantic A-list superstar Kevin Hart brings
out a flurry of tweets from self-perceived enlightened white people asking,
“Who the fuck is Kevin Hart?” But I won’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGTPksdpSI8xHqBbm1u1fiVpvRdXzva_RH5Hm34QzZA12krTe36kPIu8ASXhPo_JBkDVwmgLo3GqntWiR4hKCI8uW39owCaqxA9JpmpwEj7GDA62-U8J9s7xliK6QhVqKMG7rT8yPt6Mg/s1600/1427499193646.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGTPksdpSI8xHqBbm1u1fiVpvRdXzva_RH5Hm34QzZA12krTe36kPIu8ASXhPo_JBkDVwmgLo3GqntWiR4hKCI8uW39owCaqxA9JpmpwEj7GDA62-U8J9s7xliK6QhVqKMG7rT8yPt6Mg/s1600/1427499193646.png" height="147" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Let’s get this out of the way: <i>Get
Hard</i> is an ugly experience. As reasonably as one can argue that it’s
actually confronting prejudices of class, race and sexuality (and again, this
is only arguable), the grotesque heaviness of the subject of prison rape
complicates both the audience’s will to take it all in stride as well as
critics’ dismissal that it’s demanding to be taken that way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The truth is that <i>Get
Hard</i> wouldn’t have raised too many eyebrows ten years ago, but today,
as much of the leftwing is veering uncomfortably close to the right in
half-informed demonization of individuals and artworks, it’s unacceptable. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Like many of The Nintendo Generation
(born between 1977 and ’82), I’m offended by everything. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-Q4DX3KSoJYRfHmnKrUvT3IM1vpufOI68QTcdp64hDIYvBf5c3HNy2Yx3v7ZNgNhXg_LyYue0jwnnfv139Yb22HVBEulvkqgwjEPONapKmJ2uV8A6bEk6rrR3iQgvU0FC-O3bXhp6wLA/s1600/hqdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-Q4DX3KSoJYRfHmnKrUvT3IM1vpufOI68QTcdp64hDIYvBf5c3HNy2Yx3v7ZNgNhXg_LyYue0jwnnfv139Yb22HVBEulvkqgwjEPONapKmJ2uV8A6bEk6rrR3iQgvU0FC-O3bXhp6wLA/s1600/hqdefault.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Growing up in Canada,
most children’s programming taught the value of sharing through the trope of
adults talking to puppets. We all assumed that when our parents went to “work,”
they were meeting with their own puppet friends, the same friends who came out
again when we were sent to bed. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi93Tzj8yIRF7w8d5yKac8AkQAkWmIkLzfRsaK26z_b-oAN9uJgHWPKClw-I9nyTMhx4BhnmD0hp-IdTkRrfeu3_-elFEnPOdgGy6byqYAwqwS7z_aME3-DiHi87TsEsd4xQF5vB8yLhBc/s1600/adventures_of_ford_fairlane_ver3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi93Tzj8yIRF7w8d5yKac8AkQAkWmIkLzfRsaK26z_b-oAN9uJgHWPKClw-I9nyTMhx4BhnmD0hp-IdTkRrfeu3_-elFEnPOdgGy6byqYAwqwS7z_aME3-DiHi87TsEsd4xQF5vB8yLhBc/s1600/adventures_of_ford_fairlane_ver3.jpg" height="320" width="200" /></span></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Nineties political-correctness just
seemed necessary. It never hurt the career of anyone who wasn’t Andrew Dice
Clay or Rush Limbaugh, and those guys were destructive relics, so much so that
if you’d been using the P.C. term over the past fifteen years, it was a pretty
sure sign of a bigoted agenda. Considering peoples’ feelings is just the right
thing to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT9PmL7xgRVba0j7dHCj207TKlLTiZFSHycsvguXX7axnsGf3R2qAtzFe6GAStXw5m6cwi3ZvUcUZQ6PjuDliWfxPpSktHsclnVnWiMDRqSmtkC00V9Q_3T795WmM1i_bCgPH0nXQ-sAY/s1600/tomcats-115149l.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT9PmL7xgRVba0j7dHCj207TKlLTiZFSHycsvguXX7axnsGf3R2qAtzFe6GAStXw5m6cwi3ZvUcUZQ6PjuDliWfxPpSktHsclnVnWiMDRqSmtkC00V9Q_3T795WmM1i_bCgPH0nXQ-sAY/s1600/tomcats-115149l.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></span></a><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This is why mainstream culture in the
aughts seems to me, even in retrospect, so completely beguiling. It was a
notably lawless age for media entertainment, a decade so anti-human it allowed for
<i>Bumfights</i> and the commercial success of torture porn. It was
also a time when film comedy had a routinely privileged nastiness to it.
Bookending the George W. Bush presidency with <i>Freddy Got Fingered</i>
and <i>Role Models</i> (both interesting, superior examples of ‘00s
shock value comedy), there was a furor in the air, an aura that shit wasn’t
right and we were plunging further into doom.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiojtVnleXJfBgedhmOiIVNaY3fVo7jxRZ5GiM3ftBBy_NOoMzMep-79xRsGU2epM9rg5B2jVGTEdtTa1lHucTYV0lHLcogsAPNXusmB7PVKFHkwGBf2etBsywadQ6fvmN0EC8qmT3F6ME/s1600/freddy-got-fingered-unrated_786_poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiojtVnleXJfBgedhmOiIVNaY3fVo7jxRZ5GiM3ftBBy_NOoMzMep-79xRsGU2epM9rg5B2jVGTEdtTa1lHucTYV0lHLcogsAPNXusmB7PVKFHkwGBf2etBsywadQ6fvmN0EC8qmT3F6ME/s1600/freddy-got-fingered-unrated_786_poster.jpg" height="223" width="400" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"> <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">The Obama era is more about how to
rectify things, and while this is a definite improvement in terms of
inclusivity and positivity, as well as in condemning prevalent hateful
attitudes, and the bigotry of non-representation, we’ve covertly become hypercritical
of transgression. Compassion and forgiveness, once defining components of
leftist ideology, are buried by our need to react rather than heal. Feedback is
instant, so comedy is fearful. Everyone wants to be “a good person,” and movies
like <i>Get Hard</i> are important, only because we can define
ourselves against them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNdgJlKrrCTl9N8UY4VglrrPa9jiNyJNqDv3EOCcSXR5U-BeqA-Rqqk6GQHm7ZLFpGP0bMlxjX6YCx7NG6sg1cujR4lvj-qvf90VEhgiLHaLoPOeJs2hcEok7hIiKLo1ptftKOCU4HpVA/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNdgJlKrrCTl9N8UY4VglrrPa9jiNyJNqDv3EOCcSXR5U-BeqA-Rqqk6GQHm7ZLFpGP0bMlxjX6YCx7NG6sg1cujR4lvj-qvf90VEhgiLHaLoPOeJs2hcEok7hIiKLo1ptftKOCU4HpVA/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" height="200" width="200" /></a></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;">This
evolution of our attitudes is most apparent by how difficult it’s become to
watch only slightly older movies through 2015 eyes. I screened <i>Idiocracy</i><span style="font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">(co-written
by <i>Get Hard</i> director Etan Cohen) last week for several
friends who had never seen it. One expressed discomfort with the 2006 Mike
Judge comedy’s repeated use of the expletive “fag.” Context only mattered so
much. The (white male) lead in <i>Idiocracy</i><i> </i>is transported to a dumbed down future where the prevailing
fratboy culture perceives his heightened intelligence as effeminate. Judge is
making fun of the type of people who would denigrate others that way. My friend
isn’t wrong. She’s been sensitized by internet culture, and there’s progress in
recognizing when something hurts others, regardless of its initial intent.</span></span></div>
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<!--StartFragment--><!--EndFragment--><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirJQ2O5fJIVcNrHN2NRqjc_B04tUT52UZAOdK8hfuOFtcBt4SUy2moJ9dH-sKSMArOFzEK9FgvqJJwXCHqVTlKPhqzHvdzbRV5iL943tzel0XztLUbBNjXROpmcQs7QjE1f1CEDiKlR2A/s1600/idiocracy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirJQ2O5fJIVcNrHN2NRqjc_B04tUT52UZAOdK8hfuOFtcBt4SUy2moJ9dH-sKSMArOFzEK9FgvqJJwXCHqVTlKPhqzHvdzbRV5iL943tzel0XztLUbBNjXROpmcQs7QjE1f1CEDiKlR2A/s1600/idiocracy.jpg" height="172" width="320" /></span></a><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">History has made us aware that (contrary
to any George Clooney Oscar speech about how Hollywood is on the leading edge)
mass entertainment often lags behind cultural enlightenment. Shameful examples
of blackface taint even the post-Civil Rights era, and it’s been mandatory to
not take such offenses in silence. The struggle now, as it faces comedies like <i>Get
Hard</i>, is different. The conversations on what’s potentially harmful
or healing have ceased. <i>Get Hard</i> is vile. The internet said
so. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVVdiShk7NxA8pP8i7jDhZ-M5iAHIOCg7rtKSRVq3lo-r5AO6ArMSg_uVxJepbDui7jMsm_N4yz3kMdhvv8nWUmblhP4_mCqhCUzkbRnVB_b7wL2LNt6VUFpwSZDq4mAigJlDS2iPzQrA/s1600/jessica-alba-sin-city-1.png.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVVdiShk7NxA8pP8i7jDhZ-M5iAHIOCg7rtKSRVq3lo-r5AO6ArMSg_uVxJepbDui7jMsm_N4yz3kMdhvv8nWUmblhP4_mCqhCUzkbRnVB_b7wL2LNt6VUFpwSZDq4mAigJlDS2iPzQrA/s1600/jessica-alba-sin-city-1.png.jpeg" height="200" width="400" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"> Dismissal can be a survival
mechanism. Last summer, <i>Sin City: A Dame to Kill For</i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>was met by box office failure and
reviews mentioning that its attitudes were misogynistic. The original <i>Sin
City</i> from 2005 is every bit as retrograde. It was never any fun for
me, but many of these same critics now espousing their sensitivity liked it at
the time. The same brand of misogynistic dialogue and amoral graphic mutilation
was recently ok with them. We don’t talk about it often, but it’s incredible
how prevailing cultural attitudes have changed so much in only a handful of
years. If you ever enjoyed the first <i>Sin City</i>, try watching
it today. It’s difficult to make it beyond the 45-minute mark.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Literary legend, and occasional
social media pariah, Joyce Carol Oates recently tweeted that the scene of Jack
Nicholson slapping Faye Dunaway completely soured her most recent viewing of <i>Chinatown</i>.
The Twitter crowd that previously scolded Oates upon misunderstanding a point
she was making about patriarchal world religions mistreating women quickly put <i>Chinatown</i>
in their crosshairs. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Sometimes we look away if it’s an artist
whose work we still consume and enjoy. Collectively, we have an unspoken
agreement to never acknowledge that there’s a 2008 Katy Perry song called “Ur
So Gay.”</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy3h75LnRIsQjPvKRaygrnAymoOiL3MYTRgbl1uNr63Hm8fkeGEjMhaeVTslB82kpFTH3lsLCDj-4IvPnEggsSJieXKHZdgqfLR0KYXfWFIWJvM3DyMZyiy06yaa2qiRhwyO2h2tQnRhA/s1600/katy-perry-ur-so-gay_7519758-25400_1280x720.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy3h75LnRIsQjPvKRaygrnAymoOiL3MYTRgbl1uNr63Hm8fkeGEjMhaeVTslB82kpFTH3lsLCDj-4IvPnEggsSJieXKHZdgqfLR0KYXfWFIWJvM3DyMZyiy06yaa2qiRhwyO2h2tQnRhA/s1600/katy-perry-ur-so-gay_7519758-25400_1280x720.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>What brought on this cultural shift?
How many of us really care about these issues, and how many of us just say we
do for our social advantage?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That’s impossible to answer without
offending a whole bunch of people, and I want to believe everybody’s best
intentions, but the problem as I see it is this: There is not a higher
proportion of intelligent people now than there was before, while the internet
has expanded the public forum and deepened our loneliness and longing for human
connection. For that, we seek groups that will take us. Our perceived openness
to diversity has maybe shifted its aim, but hasn’t impacted our longstanding
problem of inadequate empathy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Humans, particularly in the western
world, still believe in black and white notions of good and evil. It’s comforting.
It’s engrained in our genome. It’s why the most successful films have clearly
defined heroes and villains, and it will always be why Michael Bay’s films are more
popular than David Lynch’s. We’ve widened our net of what groups are
acceptable, but we’re still failing to see others as complex individuals, made up
of, at times contradictory, shades of grey.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>There’s no nuance in the
condemnation of <i>Get Hard</i>. Like people who become targets in
internet pile-ons, there’s a movement to define it by only its worst instincts.
But why are we so confident of its malice? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>What <i>Get Hard</i> is
attempting to say about cultural prejudice, and with what degree of success, is
less important than its easy function as an object of derision.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgECPoKBOc86vRS1hp4Z7aFOxcISsIQCxjzh8_HpV9Oh4LyJzlFbX40POYz1WbO0Yka4roON-t-KRW3UI7-yU23XFdJABrKXYw5KPVsvlujbOHMxfC3pE9mK-pj5aOrGM-8K4g9ok_0YvM/s1600/r0_3_1200_678_w1200_h678_fmax.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgECPoKBOc86vRS1hp4Z7aFOxcISsIQCxjzh8_HpV9Oh4LyJzlFbX40POYz1WbO0Yka4roON-t-KRW3UI7-yU23XFdJABrKXYw5KPVsvlujbOHMxfC3pE9mK-pj5aOrGM-8K4g9ok_0YvM/s1600/r0_3_1200_678_w1200_h678_fmax.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Broken down on its most basic terms, <i>Get
Hard</i> is about how Will Ferrell learns how to stop acting like a
stereotypical elitist white man and learns to act like a stereotypical
impoverished black man. That sounds awful, because it’s funnier to describe it so
reductively, but there’s a simple, undeniable sense of inclusivity to that
character arc. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Cheap jokes and easy shots abound,
yet the film is told largely through Ferrell’s subjective sheltered bigot perspective.
His worldview expands, even if in limited ways and through gags that rely on
prejudicial attitudes in their audience. This isn’t positive, exactly, but that
doesn’t make it completely destructive either. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0isJoUX9VP6q6Ez94yHWCfybzpCmfHOgKumBYOSus6VP_ag9UFjaYuiG2wL0hTcbmyOwQHTbfcd9f_7SN4C6L42u9YLateFgWx4ntZompxp-OLy_Y44d_nf5zoqt6kOE0iUGL4j5nXw0/s1600/e259ff997a6d1c38ffec920045bcab72.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0isJoUX9VP6q6Ez94yHWCfybzpCmfHOgKumBYOSus6VP_ag9UFjaYuiG2wL0hTcbmyOwQHTbfcd9f_7SN4C6L42u9YLateFgWx4ntZompxp-OLy_Y44d_nf5zoqt6kOE0iUGL4j5nXw0/s1600/e259ff997a6d1c38ffec920045bcab72.jpg" height="400" width="205" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Male prison sex has been an awful
comedy crutch appealing to those of low-intelligence for ages, even appearing
unquestioned as the premise of the 2006 Bob Odenkirk comedy <i>Let’s Go
to Prison</i>, and just last year in homopanic-heavy <i>22 Jump
Street</i>. It’s not an inherently funny subject, and <i>Get
Hard</i> does nothing to make it seem less than repulsive (I watched most
of the film through a mildly disgusted scowl). The trick is that through that
intensely unpleasant focus, the panicked comedy of <i>Get Hard</i>
actually makes prison rape feel serious and disturbing. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’m not excusing the film. Rest
assured, I’m not even recommending it. I merely wish to highlight a hostile, reactionary
habit that’s overtaken our responses to pop culture. <i>Get
Hard</i> is a hard act to swallow in that it’s clearly about issues of
race and class, even as it’s openly sexist, and too often conflates the fear of
male rape with homophobia, as though they were the same issue. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So we opt to accept none of this.
(Interestingly, Ferrell’s criminal charge results in the whole world turning
against him, denying his humanity like the recipient of internet shaming,
condemned as thoroughly as the film of which he’s the subject.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEGC0C4mLLfRrL5rEMvRPlBL_AWQGxl2bjC_S31RnXP8iYg8Zc2XMCoIAmRFHUPNwbq4nQL-rKPSCwE7SxX_udpMCT4qZYvLFUwTp5meneHz07Mndumdux15s26fn4NdffLlfsB7FGLts/s1600/71738.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEGC0C4mLLfRrL5rEMvRPlBL_AWQGxl2bjC_S31RnXP8iYg8Zc2XMCoIAmRFHUPNwbq4nQL-rKPSCwE7SxX_udpMCT4qZYvLFUwTp5meneHz07Mndumdux15s26fn4NdffLlfsB7FGLts/s1600/71738.jpg" height="400" width="297" /></span></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><i>Get Hard</i> never quite
feels subversive, but its shocked-dismissal calls to question whether there’s
room for real transgression in today’s climate. Where would filmmakers who make
personal observations on society, who have things to say and to satirize, and
who risk upsetting moral standards by deepening our acceptance of individual
neuroses, be able to stand? The culture, on both left and right, has become
condescending and condemnatory. The smartest among us have learned it’s easier
to avoid social risk and ignore the political opposition altogether.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">We’re terrible at talking to one another,
and social media has only highlighted and facilitated this. We make no effort
to “know our audience,” to try and relate by learning to speak kindly and
persuasively to those with whom we disagree. We’re raging without a vision when
we need an end-goal of unity. There’s an irony in becoming more aware of
injustice, while conversely learning to hate one another, painting the world as
an idiocracy of allies and enemies. The left is at a critical juncture. Either
it acts or just reacts. Either it takes charge or remains eternally
judgmental.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I realize the irony here. I’m doing the
same thing as those whose behavior I’m opposing by using this lowbrow comedy as
an easy jumpoff for larger cultural concerns.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"> As for <i>Get Hard</i>,
it just kinda sucks.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: x-large; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit52V_jANFmc33scQgi6Wfb12b1RHV8gqI8W5cNdUrzlf2YuIHTI2if0X7s9Pg1OfkUzA-H1vVkJ2RmvZu1yqKgIHTPW_OWqANujnrCfjQd-isP-X9mtSg2x39MayKDs9N7BmZr9fJew0/s1600/evolution-taylor-swift-peace-signs--large-msg-136623490248.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit52V_jANFmc33scQgi6Wfb12b1RHV8gqI8W5cNdUrzlf2YuIHTI2if0X7s9Pg1OfkUzA-H1vVkJ2RmvZu1yqKgIHTPW_OWqANujnrCfjQd-isP-X9mtSg2x39MayKDs9N7BmZr9fJew0/s1600/evolution-taylor-swift-peace-signs--large-msg-136623490248.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><o:p></o:p></span>Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-555173084897419022014-12-31T18:22:00.002-04:002015-01-01T03:46:53.331-04:00Top Five Lists of 2014 and the Rest of Human History<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjovB7PruKb0UnT6ewvVnW1pF3utrfyau6_dy8r06jHJG69-64xS8VJgxl5-Cvq7ZXZKx9aHdlg3CWXSBx517803YjpQ-8RmK217f0bria9H1qZmk8XtAEzDC2pz9MuySWTnYV6G7__PS4/s1600/ChrisRockZoeSaldanaTakeFive_article_story_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjovB7PruKb0UnT6ewvVnW1pF3utrfyau6_dy8r06jHJG69-64xS8VJgxl5-Cvq7ZXZKx9aHdlg3CWXSBx517803YjpQ-8RmK217f0bria9H1qZmk8XtAEzDC2pz9MuySWTnYV6G7__PS4/s1600/ChrisRockZoeSaldanaTakeFive_article_story_large.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Another Old Year has ended while a New Year begins, and
although 2014 saw Western Culture have a collective nervous breakdown,
we might just survive it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In times of
change, it’s important to hold on to the things we love, and stop being so
negative. As such, I won’t be doing any worst of the year lists, and will
instead take inspiration from the Chris Rock movie <i>Top Five</i>,
where innocent people are sometimes cornered and asked to name their top five rappers.
I’m also taking inspiration from the comments section to Outlaw Vern’s review
of said movie, where innocent people gave a lot of top five lists of different things
without being cornered and asked. They just wanted to do so. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So here’s a
bunch of Top Five Lists. Let us read them and become better humans. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="font-size: x-large;">Top Five Rappers</b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Ice Cube<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The Notorious B.I.G.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Q-Tip<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The Fresh Prince<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Posdnuos<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggwF7ly8DDATAvW-O_u5LCtJwZRyjbrQA1J-I72I7yzQ2m_g5cvN2elRIXnOjeVoqhGf3Yh1kSURMH8c237j_qclljFSz4wNByKFWXsM8xMGH4EHl2HrdCyFSlq5n_OQxltAlv4olWTIc/s1600/ice-cube-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggwF7ly8DDATAvW-O_u5LCtJwZRyjbrQA1J-I72I7yzQ2m_g5cvN2elRIXnOjeVoqhGf3Yh1kSURMH8c237j_qclljFSz4wNByKFWXsM8xMGH4EHl2HrdCyFSlq5n_OQxltAlv4olWTIc/s1600/ice-cube-1.jpg" height="182" width="320" /></a><o:p><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Bonus:</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Killer Mike<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">The Artist Formerly Known as Mos Def</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Things to Say at New Year’s Eve Parties</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">“This is the best party I’ve ever been to.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">“Yeah, man.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">“I rock the party that rocks the vibe.” (I said this once at
a party in 1998, but I think it’s because I misheard a song lyric.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">“Happy New Year!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">“Jammin’ on the one.” (There’s really no better time to try
this one out.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Popular Catch Phrases From the Motion Picture<i> Jerry Maguire</i></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Help ME help YOU.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">You had me at Hello.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Show me the money.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">You complete me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Don’t ever stop fucking me!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieo2exGskmuLyv93h8xV5qEKSdCLunczFdsigsF5PU5CndEy2PVhtCxHCy9WBrB6pfvttkvg9cMd4P59HBkqjy0xsdoO_xwvwnr_hrKnz8XkwHhpIk_luCTmKs5lA9Egf2arXjKriNFDo/s1600/jerry-maguire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieo2exGskmuLyv93h8xV5qEKSdCLunczFdsigsF5PU5CndEy2PVhtCxHCy9WBrB6pfvttkvg9cMd4P59HBkqjy0xsdoO_xwvwnr_hrKnz8XkwHhpIk_luCTmKs5lA9Egf2arXjKriNFDo/s1600/jerry-maguire.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Lo-fi ‘oos American Indie Filmmakers</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJrLqvSRBHt5xis9wqKqHbMgD3yivS2BOwkvt-BvCUB0Sug97By-A4qczHgfU0hcKqJL7DInn_I9I1RUrGp89Ezjd0Ei2xXZc1VYNyPcSdMsw1RSseiT_TXA-y4F7nSBghJXaO2nujzhM/s1600/Sofia-Coppola---It-sounde-001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJrLqvSRBHt5xis9wqKqHbMgD3yivS2BOwkvt-BvCUB0Sug97By-A4qczHgfU0hcKqJL7DInn_I9I1RUrGp89Ezjd0Ei2xXZc1VYNyPcSdMsw1RSseiT_TXA-y4F7nSBghJXaO2nujzhM/s1600/Sofia-Coppola---It-sounde-001.jpg" height="200" width="161" /></a></b></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Wes Anderson<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Michel Gondry<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Spike Jonze<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Sofia Coppola<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">David O. Russell<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Canadian Cities</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Halifax<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Montreal<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Toronto<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Banff<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">I don’t really travel that much, but probably Vancouver<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>US Cities</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">New York City<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">San Francisco<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">The stretch of Hollywood where you can meet Spider-Man<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Austin<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Boston<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU0cgzmJlr6Upqy0o_wTglCVmNs_U_Vv-x7Nf6gtZXM2c1i4VpWsET0tEkkBdixeiQv1V804D_dkbpOofNtL8Sto39Q0VyzxS8HK_LlpTAoVUZg1I64aivlEjQCeJTzMno444jxQn5A-E/s1600/buffy-the-vampire-slayer-season-1-promo-hq-04-1500-top-10-buffy-the-vampire-slayer-episodes.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU0cgzmJlr6Upqy0o_wTglCVmNs_U_Vv-x7Nf6gtZXM2c1i4VpWsET0tEkkBdixeiQv1V804D_dkbpOofNtL8Sto39Q0VyzxS8HK_LlpTAoVUZg1I64aivlEjQCeJTzMno444jxQn5A-E/s1600/buffy-the-vampire-slayer-season-1-promo-hq-04-1500-top-10-buffy-the-vampire-slayer-episodes.jpeg" height="311" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>TV Shows</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Buffy the Vampire Slayer</i> (at the height of my obsession, I
wanted to live in Sunnydale)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>The Simpsons</i> (first ten years)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Twin Peaks<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Seinfeld<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Beavis and Butt-head </i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Projectile Vomit Scenes in Movies</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Stand By Me</i> (I’m kind of traumatized by this scene and don’t
fully understand it, but it’s the grossest)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">The Witches of Eastwick<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">The Exorcist<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Problem Child 2</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV6abWcl65EZT958w4gvsfmt8zOpVKHtGlcyRWag44uPnB5lSKXzTGtiUt4QDQePkMLoP0JAXRRn50ZsR2SB5g1NXdfmAbpTCpJjdRTZyKwtiS8PM3WrwXdg-Tef67kawzAfWnJpsfiOE/s1600/twigz_02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV6abWcl65EZT958w4gvsfmt8zOpVKHtGlcyRWag44uPnB5lSKXzTGtiUt4QDQePkMLoP0JAXRRn50ZsR2SB5g1NXdfmAbpTCpJjdRTZyKwtiS8PM3WrwXdg-Tef67kawzAfWnJpsfiOE/s1600/twigz_02.jpg" height="131" width="200" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Songs of 2014</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Charli XCX, “Breaking Up”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">FKA twigs, “Two Weeks”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Ariel Pink, “Not Enough Violence”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Chance the Rapper, “No Better Blues”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Phantogram, “Fall in Love”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUl7KIq5bF5G28fvXBoxxAuzHCpBcq0eOY_jW_p0l3o8IixRgLWwdlr8exBH2kfFawn-upHpLqU9ymYQ2kVm2c7ycsVhNkAtxvo7hI9KjzWDE822ybKqKalDsqXteQAClqjfR4XTWRqyQ/s1600/The-Grand-Budapest-Hotel-5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUl7KIq5bF5G28fvXBoxxAuzHCpBcq0eOY_jW_p0l3o8IixRgLWwdlr8exBH2kfFawn-upHpLqU9ymYQ2kVm2c7ycsVhNkAtxvo7hI9KjzWDE822ybKqKalDsqXteQAClqjfR4XTWRqyQ/s1600/The-Grand-Budapest-Hotel-5.jpg" height="146" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Movies of 2014</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">The Grand Budapest Hotel<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">We Are the Best!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">The Duke of Burgundy<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">The Purge: Anarchy<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Lucy</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv6tfHn05jj2qegSzAkYLCLvlZtabbnAGKct0eiA6ofjraY305ImF7TWdRHtvqaO34zSA6amfz8xeBeJagn8HrcDEeBP6bFy-AsqM9AP4f1UiaUQAQOj3WcI2fmaUBgETbtHrUR17CbPg/s1600/Charlie_Chaplin_portrait.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv6tfHn05jj2qegSzAkYLCLvlZtabbnAGKct0eiA6ofjraY305ImF7TWdRHtvqaO34zSA6amfz8xeBeJagn8HrcDEeBP6bFy-AsqM9AP4f1UiaUQAQOj3WcI2fmaUBgETbtHrUR17CbPg/s1600/Charlie_Chaplin_portrait.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Filmmakers (English Language)</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Steven Spielberg<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Brain De Palma<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">David Lynch<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Charlie Chaplin<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Stanley Kubrick<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Scenes of 2014</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">“When She Picks Up That Deformed Dude” from <i>Under the Skin</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">“The Beach Scene” from <i>Under the Skin</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">“Anyone for mush” from <i>Grand Budapest Hotel</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">“Smaug Burnin’ Up Your Shit” from <i>The Hobbit is Barely in
This Movie</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">“Nocturnal Voyage to the Land of Eva Green” from <i>300: Rise
of an Empire<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Rock Bands</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Funkadelic<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Fishbone<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Soundgarden<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">The Smiths<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">The Smashing Pumpkins<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>The Cinema of Chris Rock</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">AI Artificial Intelligence<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Boomerang<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Top Five<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">New Jack City<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Pootie Tang</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghUKmGmqZ4G05uBm1Etw3rcMEKGAjFfC0B5738iRJJxngsZB2wvo2EcxbOABLzag6Kmj8amIIdx-fTbXGmR74mb4K-UJZssUyvk-AAvHEweLhcZzY-V0nn7gO-b_dChrfkNfUbBSw6Tqo/s1600/Cradle-2-the-Grave-gabrielle-union-2686223-274-400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghUKmGmqZ4G05uBm1Etw3rcMEKGAjFfC0B5738iRJJxngsZB2wvo2EcxbOABLzag6Kmj8amIIdx-fTbXGmR74mb4K-UJZssUyvk-AAvHEweLhcZzY-V0nn7gO-b_dChrfkNfUbBSw6Tqo/s1600/Cradle-2-the-Grave-gabrielle-union-2686223-274-400.jpg" height="320" width="218" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>The Cinema of Gabrielle Union</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Love and Basketball<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">Cradle 2 the Grave<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">10 Things I Hate About You<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Bring It On</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Uhhhhh, <i>Bad Boys 2</i>, I guess. Christ.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Fingers</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Index<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Thumb<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Middle<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Pinky<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Ring<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Soft drinks (also known as soda, pop, soda-pop, fizzies, or
just Coke depending where you live… soft drink seems like the least offensive
term in problematic times.)</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Root Beer<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Diet Coke<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">San Pellegrino Lemon<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Coca-Cola<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Sprite</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHrQhmqRb2q-GFetF46WjQrvyg2n6iZ_zcafWJ_bqszyP9JfUPM1Y6a9QHU4FJf8pENxo_X_f55BM6ZOP6_fGpGpHrJ1gYZFbyhEUUP4nuIVTLorIDg1xijy4KQrxAmRZZa7XKFZeZoVU/s1600/Barq-s-is-the-Best-root-beer-35158901-500-500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHrQhmqRb2q-GFetF46WjQrvyg2n6iZ_zcafWJ_bqszyP9JfUPM1Y6a9QHU4FJf8pENxo_X_f55BM6ZOP6_fGpGpHrJ1gYZFbyhEUUP4nuIVTLorIDg1xijy4KQrxAmRZZa7XKFZeZoVU/s1600/Barq-s-is-the-Best-root-beer-35158901-500-500.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><span style="font-size: large;">And Happy New Year!</span></o:p></div>
Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-51694566823702981932014-10-24T17:12:00.000-03:002016-10-20T14:39:49.168-03:00Cinema of Death: JOHN WICK and OUIJA<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjipxSqZ_LH-GUgG03nLCDDSBFY8S8TPvT6XNP_iIufSfRt9Mh2FM10md35oGvEocYUAMPrhdOHJQaFiAjbkjAio4tiHCUFF4RURkZIvhuJnBp01sCIFnmpXKRUqj_54kQuqTZmbLnigDk/s1600/JohnWick4-flip-620x350.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjipxSqZ_LH-GUgG03nLCDDSBFY8S8TPvT6XNP_iIufSfRt9Mh2FM10md35oGvEocYUAMPrhdOHJQaFiAjbkjAio4tiHCUFF4RURkZIvhuJnBp01sCIFnmpXKRUqj_54kQuqTZmbLnigDk/s1600/JohnWick4-flip-620x350.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">John Wick</span></i><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> anticipates critics comparing it to a
first-person video game shooter. Intercutting stylized live-action violence
with a moment of a gamer brute’s obsession underlines the movie’s
simplemindedness: Keanu Reeves is wronged, and, in rock video set pieces, kills
those who wronged him, and then it ends. The only spoiler one can reveal is
that it has no twists or surprises.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="font-size: large;">In a retrograde way, this is
refreshing and it knows it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Following
years of barf-cam “verite” action scenes, and uncentered Marvel storylines, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">John Wick</i> is defiantly straightforward
with clear, easy-to-track bullet impacted head explosions and upper torso knife
plunges. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1TYWsJDR_ZiCpTIAq-9-wQhpL6it11Z6fyW5GlR9OoDG7Oujlq85ArqPTMIYFjFTiUrG7ywCkucrPMstTcIGUUvlHMBEXZ6IASon7NvszW-TL2C-2nU63AK-0en2-uxElUNRhRU46HyI/s1600/1280x720-sTS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1TYWsJDR_ZiCpTIAq-9-wQhpL6it11Z6fyW5GlR9OoDG7Oujlq85ArqPTMIYFjFTiUrG7ywCkucrPMstTcIGUUvlHMBEXZ6IASon7NvszW-TL2C-2nU63AK-0en2-uxElUNRhRU46HyI/s1600/1280x720-sTS.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1TYWsJDR_ZiCpTIAq-9-wQhpL6it11Z6fyW5GlR9OoDG7Oujlq85ArqPTMIYFjFTiUrG7ywCkucrPMstTcIGUUvlHMBEXZ6IASon7NvszW-TL2C-2nU63AK-0en2-uxElUNRhRU46HyI/s1600/1280x720-sTS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="font-size: large;">After his girlfriend dies of an
illness, Wick (Reeves), a former killing machine, plunges into depression. Gifted
with a cute dog who he plays with for most of the film’s first half hour like he’s
taking cues from Riddick for becoming a sympathetic psychopath, Wick’s life
turns back around when goons murder his new pet. He relapses to his murderous
ways, as stunt coordinators-turned-directors David Leitch and Chad Stahelski
find a clever way of emotionally grounding their revenge narrative. We’re used
to the disposability of human life in movies. Don’t fuck with dogs!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="font-size: large;">Reeves, a charming action star when
permitted to be, is used at his most monosyllabic, disposing of bad guys and
more than a few bystanders with cool posturing. In its combo barrenness and
balletic kineticism, it’s both imitation Walter Hill and imitation John Woo, a
movie that’s at once minimalist and maximalist.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 36pt;">First things first, </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; text-indent: 36pt;">John Wick</i><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 36pt;"> isn’t as good as some people will try to tell you it is.</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEPCHiACydFc9aGvUjsEg5T1yNwCg7vYr4HSYntK-CG9TKzqqr4jBMhucC8Ert2DoYyzUqxkAw5Hyk7tl7_nuNn73gD7NKJcGKLWB8onYtg_7OVTeeaeEw74vxpvJc47jWc0OK_chVOcE/s1600/Adrianne-Palicki.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEPCHiACydFc9aGvUjsEg5T1yNwCg7vYr4HSYntK-CG9TKzqqr4jBMhucC8Ert2DoYyzUqxkAw5Hyk7tl7_nuNn73gD7NKJcGKLWB8onYtg_7OVTeeaeEw74vxpvJc47jWc0OK_chVOcE/s1600/Adrianne-Palicki.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 36pt;"> But
in a desperate climate where the best action films aren’t even getting
theatrical distribution, there’s an urge to overpraise one that just gets it
done. Its closest comparison is Robert Rodriguez’s series of violent rock music
showdowns in </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; text-indent: 36pt;">Desperado</i><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 36pt;">. </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; text-indent: 36pt;">Wick</i><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 36pt;">’s just as brainless, but with less
scatology. The recurrent joke of supporting characters shrugging off Wick’s
barbarism feels cheap. And a nightclub fight centerpiece is reliant on ironic
use of pop music against savagery, as though the movie’s audience isn’t
familiar with </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; text-indent: 36pt;">Spring Breakers</i><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 36pt;">'</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 36pt;"> “Everytime”
montage, which expected its audience not to know </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; text-indent: 36pt;">Face/Off</i><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 36pt;"> 's “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” gunfight, which expected
its viewers not to know the work of Kenneth Anger, which, in fairness, they
mostly didn’t.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 36.0pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i style="text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">John Wick</span></i><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 36pt;"> is a work of calculated affectation
rather than of artists with this style in their bones. It happily contributes
to cultural detritus when a smarter movie would comment upon it. But this must also be distinguished from <i>The Raid</i>’s
pervy human degradation. At its own base level, <i>John Wick</i>’s murder fantasies feel detached from plausible bodily
harm, and, for better or worse, are fun.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 36pt;">Mortality
in </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; text-indent: 36pt;">John Wick</i><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 36pt;"> is a heavy burden, until
it isn’t. It’s murder as catharsis as spectacle.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZuosaCOUga0ibogUVfF83Iclvd0pdnFJ3q5_MgqgU0-y2DiLGk4axMk_kqSGYVTEPcTdSlJT-KqZ_4dW7-cqmMS22IfR0nmySjc53TmpkCaUzARprdXyBmZV5EGGBOPEFkRhDmeYVdPs/s1600/SuLGfRVZ41.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZuosaCOUga0ibogUVfF83Iclvd0pdnFJ3q5_MgqgU0-y2DiLGk4axMk_kqSGYVTEPcTdSlJT-KqZ_4dW7-cqmMS22IfR0nmySjc53TmpkCaUzARprdXyBmZV5EGGBOPEFkRhDmeYVdPs/s1600/SuLGfRVZ41.png" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 36.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="font-size: large;">Death
is approached more solemnly, but without any more sensitivity in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ouija</i>. Director Stiles White has a nice
handle on widescreen horror imagery in the movie’s first half, building
suburban folklore and dread through looming steadicam shots across white picket
fences and wooden staircase railings. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ouija</i>
isn’t as grand and beautiful as last year’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The
Conjuring</i>, but, for a while, it breaks from the televisual standard of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Paranormal Activity </i>and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Deliver Us From Evil</i>, placing its
strangely autumnal brown California within a nearby anamorphic universe to
Craven’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Scream</i> and Carpenter’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Halloween</i>. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ5kUNVMNb8R9hl8zcUsnWOzOCoG3Px1lj8rYSknE6K-XpqSw82lBtPzK9G7Pf401Gk6sneKWqSKBjWfOpFN7UNcsHQR1hK8v7QIFAaQ0Z7u6hCjbo8lR8yg5Ks7tUAoulUQGikTTm0CQ/s1600/olivia-cooke-in-ouija-movie-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="font-size: large;">It’s
in terms of narrative that it doesn’t provide anything to care about. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ5kUNVMNb8R9hl8zcUsnWOzOCoG3Px1lj8rYSknE6K-XpqSw82lBtPzK9G7Pf401Gk6sneKWqSKBjWfOpFN7UNcsHQR1hK8v7QIFAaQ0Z7u6hCjbo8lR8yg5Ks7tUAoulUQGikTTm0CQ/s1600/olivia-cooke-in-ouija-movie-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="158" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ5kUNVMNb8R9hl8zcUsnWOzOCoG3Px1lj8rYSknE6K-XpqSw82lBtPzK9G7Pf401Gk6sneKWqSKBjWfOpFN7UNcsHQR1hK8v7QIFAaQ0Z7u6hCjbo8lR8yg5Ks7tUAoulUQGikTTm0CQ/s1600/olivia-cooke-in-ouija-movie-1.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="font-size: large;">The
oddest moment of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ouija</i> is also the
most stereotypical. Mourning teen Laine (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Bates
Motel</i>’s Olivia Cooke) visits her school guidance counselor, who is intent
on providing her with outlets to help deal with the death of two friends. She
storms out telling him he has no idea what he’s talking about. Okay, except the
movie wields no insight into teenage trauma that he doesn’t. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpBlnOvSpol0CD5JQ0-Fnll7k16MYD-V6IDCUBXMpa5Oy8b4xyezAM2LrzBS3kIQOoHBKcHVK7mtq9ANtlawW2qnXH8yq5TrbF6RW9RbmVIQeFypCxS69PZTWf3elGOv34Cc47quu5WCE/s1600/ouija+trailer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpBlnOvSpol0CD5JQ0-Fnll7k16MYD-V6IDCUBXMpa5Oy8b4xyezAM2LrzBS3kIQOoHBKcHVK7mtq9ANtlawW2qnXH8yq5TrbF6RW9RbmVIQeFypCxS69PZTWf3elGOv34Cc47quu5WCE/s1600/ouija+trailer.jpg" width="320" /></span></a><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Laine’s outburst simply feels like
it should probably be a movie scene (you see it coming because, undoubtedly,
you’ve seen it somewhere before), and that’s how <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ouija</i> operates. It exists in desperate imitation of a real movie.
The young cast reaches for a dramatic heft the material doesn’t support. Its
pretenses to reckoning and painful rites of passage are missing the emotional
current that grounded the original <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Final
Destination</i>. Loss and death in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ouija</i>
is just an aftereffect of cheap jump scares. It’s as hollow as the motif of
spectres with their mouths sewn shut, something writers Juliet Snowden and
Stiles White haven’t connected as an abstraction of the way adolescent pain is
silenced. Here, it’s simply a cruel thing to happen in the middle of flossing.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwNq6S2Qil0ROGhV8mUbq0LQo9btPbbWmg7hPrlf9k6_QHHfz2A6kBHPdhE16Nw8sBVJgaU3hZ9erIw-adCx-yF61SmNWqpcod1VIhnRLmtH7iTpMtLvHRjAI19f4uKPfTtAOx5oGKxWE/s1600/olivia-cooke-in-ouija-movie-7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwNq6S2Qil0ROGhV8mUbq0LQo9btPbbWmg7hPrlf9k6_QHHfz2A6kBHPdhE16Nw8sBVJgaU3hZ9erIw-adCx-yF61SmNWqpcod1VIhnRLmtH7iTpMtLvHRjAI19f4uKPfTtAOx5oGKxWE/s1600/olivia-cooke-in-ouija-movie-7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwNq6S2Qil0ROGhV8mUbq0LQo9btPbbWmg7hPrlf9k6_QHHfz2A6kBHPdhE16Nw8sBVJgaU3hZ9erIw-adCx-yF61SmNWqpcod1VIhnRLmtH7iTpMtLvHRjAI19f4uKPfTtAOx5oGKxWE/s1600/olivia-cooke-in-ouija-movie-7.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">And therein lies the basic problem
with </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Ouija</i><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">: it’s about nothing. The
filmmakers instill this by making the dead friend who the leads try to contact
a victim of her own Ouija Board experimentation. This bypasses the opportunity
to employ horror-fantasy as a means of confronting the very real confusion and
grief of teen suicide. Laine and her friends should stand up and face the adult
and peer scrutiny toward their shared depression. Yet the movie doesn’t allow
them the dignity or humanity to address it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="font-size: large;">Almost
everyone young or old feels misunderstood, but teen movies are one of the only
venues through which Hollywood will articulate this commonly and (sometimes) believably.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Teen movies about death are a staple for a
simple reason that <i>Ouija</i> hasn’t considered—when every experience is a new one,
it feels as though it’s now or never. At the precipice of life’s beginning is a
fear that life will never arrive.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="font-size: large;"> The things teenagers feel aren’t trivial. It’s
when the movies reduce them to meaningless traumas and freak-outs that there’s
no room for understanding, only disengagement.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYaC0nrkfpZmULz0aiaauUYBrKnrJ0H5bFCg2f9DTXxUy5mUYrgYUhL96qiIqmefCj5F-7wqjCAHhlVrtKj28NzOnRpdh7ROnfreZYRQBvCjKMEofH96z7zEGvHTnkSWkYhJIr6NWRpcU/s1600/Ouija-2014-2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYaC0nrkfpZmULz0aiaauUYBrKnrJ0H5bFCg2f9DTXxUy5mUYrgYUhL96qiIqmefCj5F-7wqjCAHhlVrtKj28NzOnRpdh7ROnfreZYRQBvCjKMEofH96z7zEGvHTnkSWkYhJIr6NWRpcU/s1600/Ouija-2014-2.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<o:p></o:p>
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<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My friend Mark MacKenzie gave me a random year from which to make a Top 10 movies list. I got 1983. Mr. MacKe</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">nzie explained it was because he didn't understand 1983. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">In a way, he has a point. 1983 is a tougher than usual year from which to cull a top 10 list. It's sandwiched between 1982 and 1984, which had so many significant films. But here we go, anyway. Because it's the 30th anniversary of that year. Because we're hardcore. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">1) <i>SCARFACE</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Obviously.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ2cO0DvmJQDO3SYGV1SoXfV2tLYYov9tFXpiy0Z-tVN3gg7kaLGWcFenQI-hRW_-Zo-4lbHOs4IAzO7sbzgolLIfeXtVjAVeotbqXMl9oeLeMUUljl6j75KrjMAv4W2vdqdz87FGG42s/s1600/scarface1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ2cO0DvmJQDO3SYGV1SoXfV2tLYYov9tFXpiy0Z-tVN3gg7kaLGWcFenQI-hRW_-Zo-4lbHOs4IAzO7sbzgolLIfeXtVjAVeotbqXMl9oeLeMUUljl6j75KrjMAv4W2vdqdz87FGG42s/s400/scarface1.jpg" height="145" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I know <i>Terms of Endearment</i> won the Oscar, and I like that movie, but through the lens of time, immortality can be more accurately judged. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><i>Scarface</i> is a Reagan-era satire written as modern Shakespeare tragedy. It defines the '80s neon electro era, while serving as a lynchpin for all stories (real or fiction) of corrupt social climbers to follow. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">2) <i>THE KING OF COMEDY</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">What seems, now at least, like an early look into the pathology of celebrity culture, Martin Scorsese tackles delusion and loneliness through the prism of a fame hungry aspiring comic. More uncomfortable than a lot of Scorsese films, since its central rage is never permitted expression, this is a highlight from when Scorsese made films that were wounded and personal.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I am glad to get 1983, if only to have <i>Christine</i> on this list, which is becoming my favourite John Carpenter movie. The treatment of teenage longing, and nerd Arnie's psychotic-obsessive arc is perfectly handled. Carpenter shoots a teen horror movie as a noir (and not with <i>Brick</i> affectation). The widescreen compositions are beautiful. In <i>Detention</i>, when that girl says she "took a dump on the windshield of Woodruff's Cadillac," that's a <i>Christine</i> reference.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">4) <i>THE OUTSIDERS</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">The director's cut ruins it, but in its initial version Francis Coppola's adaptation of S.E. Hinton's "boy's novel" creates abstract majesty from adolescence. It's a tough-kid movie, but shot and scored like it's <i>Gone With the Wind</i>. The agony of the present collides with the promise of the present. I prefer this to <i> Rumble Fish</i>.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">5) <i>SLEEPAWAY CAMP</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I've already said too much: https://www.facebook.com/Thrillema/posts/418609091593769</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">6) <i>RETURN OF THE JEDI</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I saw this in the theatre when I was four. This movie is underrated. <i>Inception</i> should have had Ewoks!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">7) <i>MY BROTHER'S WEDDING</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Black-on-black class conflict comes to a head between two brothers, leading up to a wedding. Charles Burnett's slicker but more obscure followup to his, recently obscure, <i>Killer of Sheep</i> is familial drama handled with poignance and insight.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">8) <i>L'ARGENT</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Robert Bresson is one of the few filmmakers who I truly find challenging. Everything is shot and "acted" to distance viewers from the emotional pull of the material, and he tells a good portion of his narratives by skipping over the parts that progress the story. Occasionally, this method brings its own alchemy. As in <i>Mouchette</i>, <i>Au hasard Balthasar</i>, and others, in <i>L'argent</i> we process injustice intellectually, and then the emotions resonate.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">The most depressingly corporate teenagers ever captured on film. There was a time when I hated <i>Risky Business</i> for that reason (if you can find my <i>The Girl Next Door</i> review, I think I complain about it in there), but watching it again, I suspect the movie is appalled by it all, too. Anyway, Tom Cruise and Rebecca De Mornay basically introduced me to sex. This is sharply observed in the writing, and atmospherically scored--a comedy about innocence corrupted before it's even been recognized.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">The best of this series, and a furious damn movie skewering the All-American white family. Still, Chevy Chase remains sympathetic in his cluelessness. John Hughes scripts would chill out a bit later.</span><br />
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</span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And here's me with the <i>Private School</i> soundtrack. That also came out in 1983, but didn't make it to this list for demographic reasons.</span></span><br />
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Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-89078173609804369652013-06-07T00:25:00.001-03:002013-06-07T11:52:36.786-03:00Waiting to Hate<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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"I didn't know it was by Shamamwhatever. I hate that director."<br />
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And that was the part of an <i>After Earth</i> after-movie convo I overheard. Granted, the marketing has done a good job of hiding director M. Night Shyamalan's involvement, and with good reason. When his name finally appeared at the front of the end credits, there was an audible groan.<br />
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It's obvious: the audience that night didn't like the movie, but can we get away from this bullshit condemnatory glee? Amongst those already aware that Shyamalan is the director of <i>After Earth</i>, the claws have been out, the prejudice and stupidity abundant.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqRONU0WNZf8TYtSLpy-XYtuTHQvu29S6OgXet3OQUApUppIgKQSyBb2klWNpAMp4zxwgLeB_Vt0H0LJCtuXDE7c9jocHrC3sOuii8yLUa61ChdfZshyphenhyphenuSMaqnU8DSR4k72eYJ_NClbxI/s1600/after-earth-jaden-smith-volcano.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="182.5" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqRONU0WNZf8TYtSLpy-XYtuTHQvu29S6OgXet3OQUApUppIgKQSyBb2klWNpAMp4zxwgLeB_Vt0H0LJCtuXDE7c9jocHrC3sOuii8yLUa61ChdfZshyphenhyphenuSMaqnU8DSR4k72eYJ_NClbxI/s400/after-earth-jaden-smith-volcano.jpg" width="300" /></a><br />
<i>After Earth</i> is a mediocre film. But that's really all it is. <i>The Wall Street Journal</i>'s Joe Morgenstern asking if it's "the worst movie ever made" not only shows a feeble grasp of syntax (that "made" after "ever" is self-evident), it's forcefully blind toward the movie being projected on screen.<br />
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Like any movie, <i>After Earth</i> should be divorced from buzz and prejudice, and viewed for what it is. It's a kid's boy scout adventure movie, a coming-of-age tale in the true sense in that it places teenage Kitai (Jaden Smith) through a series of survivalist tasks until his father (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air) is able to tell him he's now a man. It's narrowly focused, but walks with more confidence than <i>The Last Airbender</i>, M. Night's last children's movie.<br />
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Part of the confusion is that in the milieu of summer blockbusters this delineation between kid movies and grown up movies is rarely present. In other words, almost all summer blockbusters are for kids, but <i>After Earth</i> upsets adults by never trying to hide it.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0Keiju3IosYPjUO9vRm-mrh4XY0Rq4_WGqpkjVWV9eo36YHJHwYVd5UHS0UlzrcDBZ2RzYodZNVEhllJmnj_vmrKRObar0oINgbi4yk5tIR5pDD91x6t__pfK9PEgWyvk1RwmiPmCZKg/s1600/After-Earth-Will-Smith-and-Sophie-Okonedo-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="176.667" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0Keiju3IosYPjUO9vRm-mrh4XY0Rq4_WGqpkjVWV9eo36YHJHwYVd5UHS0UlzrcDBZ2RzYodZNVEhllJmnj_vmrKRObar0oINgbi4yk5tIR5pDD91x6t__pfK9PEgWyvk1RwmiPmCZKg/s320/After-Earth-Will-Smith-and-Sophie-Okonedo-2.jpg" width="266.667" /></a> As a complete film experience, it's dramatically stilted (Shyamalan's typical whispered-monologue-long-takes don't quite suit this milieu), lacking in wit beyond its thematics, and too constrained in scope. Kitai is dropped into what looks like some Western American forest, but the dramatic impact of an adolescent trying to survive in brutal nature is never desperate or frightening enough. Shyamalan makes a movie about life in the wild, and then neglects to give it much liveliness.<br />
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So what's this got to do with M. Night hate? Simple, <i>After Earth</i> is a mere shrugger of a film that's being taken as evidence that its director is the once-trusted babysitter who you caught corrupting your dog.<br />
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Collectively, the Zeitgeist will often randomly decide it's time to hate someone, and try to downplay that it ever liked them. It happened to Michael Jackson for the fifteen years before he died. It happened to Oliver Stone in 2004, with the aggravatingly reviewed <i>Alexander</i>, his last film to approach greatness. It's happening to Tim Burton right now. This tendency is completely ignorant of what was and remains appealing about a given artist, denies shifting personal interests, and relishes in disdain. Shallow people need enemies.<br />
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All of these artists have identifiable tropes and styles, which makes the pile-on easier. There was no widespread grumbling that Louis Leterrier was back this summer with <i>Now You See Me</i> , even though <i>The Incredible Hulk</i> and <i>Clash of the Titans</i> were lacklustre. Leterrier has no plainly evident distinguishable style, so he isn't on anyone's radar. But because Shyamalan's made four movies from <i>The Sixth Sense</i> to <i>The Village</i> that had twist endings, negative assessment of him always incorporates this most obvious facet. And since his last few movies have been sub par, he's suddenly incapable of, and unwelcome to, redeeming himself.<br />
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I don't aim to celebrate Shyamalan (the only of his movies I really like are <i>Unbreakable</i> and <i>Lady in the Water</i>) so much as identify a movement in film-going that's based in know-it-all shortsightedness rather than thirsty open-mindedness.<br />
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Last week, leading up to <i>After Earth</i>'s release, a writer for TV's <i>Suburgatory</i> tweeted, "I don't see how M. Night Shyamalan directing a story made up by Will Smith to get his kid more work could possibly be bad." Funny, especially if you're already in agreement with the author's disdain. But having addressed the M. Night prejudice enough, let's counter these other complaints. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7q2osLFWyySV3fVJ5Kbuubbuk0tmKwmJvY7eZh_ts-DLBlVKy2b0IZWvYk6wCsEZb1tDMdIypq3MKQITuUM5I6iXL3fLaeYCzhLplxdVdi7HZGuhFd9gfuewzRBn58UMD1radOLQ9TMM/s1600/samples_jazzy_jeff_fresh_prince_andinthiscorner_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7q2osLFWyySV3fVJ5Kbuubbuk0tmKwmJvY7eZh_ts-DLBlVKy2b0IZWvYk6wCsEZb1tDMdIypq3MKQITuUM5I6iXL3fLaeYCzhLplxdVdi7HZGuhFd9gfuewzRBn58UMD1radOLQ9TMM/s200/samples_jazzy_jeff_fresh_prince_andinthiscorner_large.jpg" width="200" /></a>1) Will Smith is a storyteller, and a pretty good one. If you picked up and enjoyed one of his more narrative-centric rap albums prior to 1991's <i>Homebase,</i> you know that.<br />
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2) Tailoring a story for your son to star in is certainly nepotism, and gives the young Mr. Smith an unfair advantage over other child stars, but it isn't that different than if the elder Smith were writing a story as a showcase for himself. It's just a redirection of ego, which is always a primary fuel in Hollywood anyway. <br />
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I've never watched <i>Suburgatory</i> because it's called <i>Suburgatory</i>, and I assumed it was another stereotypical look at how shallow and repressive suburban life is for creative people. But people tell me it's in fact good. Having never seen it, I've never condemned it on Twitter. Ya see? It's of no benefit going on record, and contributing to mass discourse, about how bad an artwork <i>looks like it is probably going to be</i>.<br />
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Also, I don't have cable.<br />
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It's a weird time for film criticism. The general public has largely taken over the reigns, many of them slaves to buzz who spread hype like insight. When we talk about Marvel Phase 2, we're not even talking about films anymore. We're talking about a corporate growth strategy. Even some critics prioritize being first to discover and generate hype for movies at Cannes, SXSW, and Sundance. That's fine. But when it's standardized, somewhere along the way unclouded insight and evaluation is compromised. Criticism has been uncomfortably conflated with consumerism, as has the audience's appreciation for movies. Groaning at the mention of Shyamalan, Stone or Burton is the common response because it's the accepted fashion.<br />
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So take Dr. Funkenstein's advice and blow the cobwebs out of your mind. And open your eyes. We deserve better movies, but we should also demand better of ourselves.<br />
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Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-25322814632712920672013-05-28T03:02:00.000-03:002013-05-28T18:52:19.845-03:00Film Jam<br />
"I thought it delivered, but could have 20 minutes of air cut from it," I told a local filmmaker after stepping out of a franchise blockbuster.<br />
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"Try 40 minutes," he replied. "But I loved some of it." <br />
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Let me split the difference with Jason Eisener. <i>Furious 6</i> is thirty minutes too long. And it's not like <i>Furious 6</i> (that's the title in the credits, and it's what I'm calling it), at 130 minutes, is demanding some unheard of level of posterior numbness. It's merely longer than it's capable of handling (the movie, not your butt). Those extra 30 minutes don't make it more impactful or epic. They dilute a seriously badass 100-minute, character-driven action film.<br />
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This indulgence isn't a rarity. More and more, tentpole releases equate length with impact and importance. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5qQH2UK3jEcgv7ZIKbSI0unNyl9D_7sA0ysxQohL5JK6Yfzut94olJ8gY3TeuY4NQOma-fYZE8VpP6wCG1n8vPPmVrPX5EeOOzbLFHw6XI7-ZbTxq39-_d6KGR2VlOs-0atv0o9pMywE/s1600/fast-and-furious-6.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5qQH2UK3jEcgv7ZIKbSI0unNyl9D_7sA0ysxQohL5JK6Yfzut94olJ8gY3TeuY4NQOma-fYZE8VpP6wCG1n8vPPmVrPX5EeOOzbLFHw6XI7-ZbTxq39-_d6KGR2VlOs-0atv0o9pMywE/s400/fast-and-furious-6.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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First off, I'm a fan of the <i>Fast/Furious</i> series. I like that it takes itself seriously within a disreputable Roger Corman-inspired genre to the point where it's still fun but also believes in itself. I like that every new action scene tries to outdo the last. I've come to care about the soap opera moments and retcon fan service. Stars Vin Diesel and Paul Walker barely show up in other movies anymore, but when they show up here, they feel like the biggest stars on Earth. I like that Detective Hobbs, played by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, is visibly and continuously perspiring through these movies, while no one else breaks a sweat, and it's an unremarked upon character detail.<br />
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The series itself plays as an underdog story. Remember that the original film was expected to be buried in the summer of 2001 by the Sylvester Stallone/Renny Harlin racing movie <i>Driven</i>, a film nobody has seen post-<i>Agent Cody Banks</i> <i>2</i>. <i>Furious 6</i> was my most anticipated sequel this year, along with <i>Riddick</i>. (I wanted to include the fourth Mad Max film on that list so it doesn't just seem like I'm in love with Vin Diesel, but I guess that isn't until 2014. Oh well.) <br />
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<i>Furious 6</i> knows itself and its audience very well, and plays to it hard. But the missing word "fast" in the onscreen title might count for something. It could stand to have the fat trimmed off it and be more aerodynamic.<br />
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The number one complaint talented filmmakers make about other films and film critics (and, let's not fake politeness, about audiences, too) is that they have little understanding of how movies work visually. It makes some sense. If you're a critic, you're a writer, and are used to thinking verbally. And it's rare, or just takes effort, to get both brain areas working at once. <br />
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But what's even more unremarked upon is the disregard of film rhythm.<br />
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Movies don't exist just so you can rock out. But as a viewer, I need to be captured in their grooves. Hold the wrong notes for too long, and you lose the melody. Overdo it on sauce, and you drown the spaghetti. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyvJJUEUFT4qJKoTvxuc_naTjOKMjwXd60585K7DNXKQB0MFFXyTQFgOdWmF3qXPAsngHTy6QWXOpM3mcdDoPM2AefWDS8qtjfNowhfgpZjV07IgBlz9XAwkhPAJshF4bMP3TKxe6zGlU/s1600/pain-and-gain-movie-2013-quotes-7-670x5741.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="171" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyvJJUEUFT4qJKoTvxuc_naTjOKMjwXd60585K7DNXKQB0MFFXyTQFgOdWmF3qXPAsngHTy6QWXOpM3mcdDoPM2AefWDS8qtjfNowhfgpZjV07IgBlz9XAwkhPAJshF4bMP3TKxe6zGlU/s200/pain-and-gain-movie-2013-quotes-7-670x5741.png" width="200" /></a>The problem is most apparent in big movies that aspire to excitement. Michael Bay's "small movie" (IE. it has no Transformers in it) <i>Pain & Gain</i> was another unwieldy one. It could have made a slick and nasty crime thriller at 90-minutes. At 129, it reached for too much and forfeit a point-of-view. Peter Jackson is the master at pro-mass anti-rhythm indulgence. His 2005 <i>King Kong</i> remake is twice as long as it needs to be, and then hit DVD in an even longer version. And extending <i>The Hobbit</i>, which is shorter than any individual <i>Lord of the Rings</i> book, to three parts and nine hours values length above all else. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPlwfjNmeVTIi7yM1bWFmkAoedApWw3MVGltOxxAzb9vpsusjut-uCaAOaMN-UqHQpxY-N5fCwkdosd4myNXgrJyf9iZNjqfSuqHE93xh_epAnr4ECjndSfayxA4xAxfiGi4XkodXKjEM/s1600/THE-HEAT-Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPlwfjNmeVTIi7yM1bWFmkAoedApWw3MVGltOxxAzb9vpsusjut-uCaAOaMN-UqHQpxY-N5fCwkdosd4myNXgrJyf9iZNjqfSuqHE93xh_epAnr4ECjndSfayxA4xAxfiGi4XkodXKjEM/s200/THE-HEAT-Poster.jpg" width="135" /></a>Commercial prospects of course influence the way movies are paced. When DVD sales were still an important factor, comedies would be released in EXTREME AND UNCUT versions, which frequently translated to EXCESSIVE AND POORLY CUT versions. The "uncut" DVD of the terrific <i>Dave Chappelle's Block Party</i> is so hastily assembled it actually repeats a scene. With comedy longer-is-better was routinely problematic, throwing the timing and momentum off in Judd Apatow's already indulgent films. And those movies set the template. This summer's big upcoming comedy hopefuls, the Sandra Bullock/Melissa McCarthy <i>The Heat</i> and the Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson <i>The Internship</i> are both two hours, something studios would have frowned upon fifteen years ago. <br />
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There's no place for expressions that land between short and feature length. A 50-minute movie (the ideal length of <i>Spring Breakers</i>) is hard to program for even a festival screening. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGOa9iG3NhQqQguREDEZZJkCyRNGsdbzaB86F2-yaQNi2bBtemK_EDD8RZhYtxN04RCN5qp9JUGwkwtqpqw748OU2XewxRX8jRzFoVdOYHVvK37SHEZ0cMW34RPclDj0ngotXWeW4-nWM/s1600/spring_breakers1.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="273.899987" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGOa9iG3NhQqQguREDEZZJkCyRNGsdbzaB86F2-yaQNi2bBtemK_EDD8RZhYtxN04RCN5qp9JUGwkwtqpqw748OU2XewxRX8jRzFoVdOYHVvK37SHEZ0cMW34RPclDj0ngotXWeW4-nWM/s400/spring_breakers1.jpg" width="415" /></a><br />
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"Christopher Nolan has rhythms. You just don't like his rhythms," a friend explained about <i>The Dark Knight Rises</i>. There may be some truth to that. I can't get with every beat. And I'm not asking every movie to do away with "slow parts." I have nothing against movies that know what to do for three hours. I'm saying too many films are prioritizing their degree of content over sustaining interest through a flow of tightly assembled parallel and contrasting pieces. And the experience of these movies is suffering.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKcvMNxUOKnlOtaw4Irkj5ilQAWrktu_p4zK-l6lAvV179NZ4gAfeDPOi-rphdxJ5BN0EXPr2R-2Xa3NO0cgUppWyeyPNyaiVoz4nIJ5pA1PqgPvUtoWjUo4cTxKyDgKkDCaL_WovET0I/s1600/pirates-of-the-caribbean-dead-mans-chest.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKcvMNxUOKnlOtaw4Irkj5ilQAWrktu_p4zK-l6lAvV179NZ4gAfeDPOi-rphdxJ5BN0EXPr2R-2Xa3NO0cgUppWyeyPNyaiVoz4nIJ5pA1PqgPvUtoWjUo4cTxKyDgKkDCaL_WovET0I/s320/pirates-of-the-caribbean-dead-mans-chest.jpg" width="268" /></a>After the first <i>Lord of the Rings</i> movie caught the Christmas '01 zeitgeist, other movie fantasies decided to whip it out and compare size. Real fatigue hit me at <i>Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest</i>, a brilliant display of 2006 CG creature effects, and one of the most thoughtlessly paced major films ever. As the middle part in (what was once planned as only) a trilogy, it occurred to me that the story wasn't going to complete itself, needn't have any signposts toward resolution, and could conceivably keep piling on more whimsical pirate-stuff for an eternity. I lost my glasses on the way out of that screening, which is a strange thing to happen. I can only blame that film's effect on my temporal-spatial reality.<br />
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I get it, movies are expensive to go see. But the bang-for-your-buck ideal has been poorly construed. People want movies that are mind-blowing experiences, that will allow them to visit the world of that film and partake in something enthralling. They don't just want movies that will eat up the most of their time. <br />
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This isn't an argument that every movie should feel like <i>Detention</i>. That was ADD by design, and the world needs its slow dance numbers, too.<br />
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In many ways, the ones outlined in the second major paragraph, <i>Furious 6</i> is the most satisfying blockbuster so far this year. There are no scenes that should obviously be stripped from it. It's just that many of them come with a lot of dead space. A mid-movie conversation in an auto-shop with Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) is spread over two rooms so that the same character follows her, gets her attention a second time, and continues the conversation he just started. A joke wherein Hobbs (The Rock) and Tej (Ludacris) partake in the comeuppance of a rich snob by requesting that he disrobe needs to be speedy, but the movie stops dead to display its comic wit.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgYdgQjv8H87MztDPfSDQz264cipgXT6g0wy9Np6bgPAL86NlgVoz1edmCIkrPQHekgLXsbonMoCuyCNzuPxNOO5rGwNNDXpq_EgApKnE8jK8Y5tMrG02p5US1rZ2-o7jEo5ozkx_9ies/s1600/Fast-and-Furious-6-1.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgYdgQjv8H87MztDPfSDQz264cipgXT6g0wy9Np6bgPAL86NlgVoz1edmCIkrPQHekgLXsbonMoCuyCNzuPxNOO5rGwNNDXpq_EgApKnE8jK8Y5tMrG02p5US1rZ2-o7jEo5ozkx_9ies/s400/Fast-and-Furious-6-1.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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I realize that our attention spans aren't what they used to be. When <i>The Exorcist</i> opened in 1973, viewers weren't sure if they saw or only imagined flashes of Satanic faces on screen. Today, our brains have been so warped and rewired by the pace of MuchMusic, MTV, video games and YouTube, it's impossible not to clearly see those images. We can process more information than ever, and perhaps retain less of it. A youth-appeal movie like <i>Furious 6</i> somehow understands this only on occasion. <br />
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Let's just say I liked the movie enough that I wish it had the faith to be less generous. Quit delivering more of what no one needs, and find your tune.<br />
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Movies are music. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfqAd_b2hyFCski96-sjFAH7kosAwmEhBVtfRLWUw64BND9yqr9yvyuKmh7U2AdmnvbDf438L2Yj8g300RCUBpLsBazClsE8oCKNv2jtZaF9wD0d_xUbdGjhhJhjn0B0h5furL5q6Bhis/s1600/Phantom+%231.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfqAd_b2hyFCski96-sjFAH7kosAwmEhBVtfRLWUw64BND9yqr9yvyuKmh7U2AdmnvbDf438L2Yj8g300RCUBpLsBazClsE8oCKNv2jtZaF9wD0d_xUbdGjhhJhjn0B0h5furL5q6Bhis/s400/Phantom+%231.jpg" width="400" /></a>Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-89876758314293525472009-12-03T15:14:00.030-04:002009-12-03T22:41:51.868-04:00The 20 Best Movies of the Decade20) <span style="font-style:italic;">Kill Bill, Volume 1</span> (Quentin Tarantino)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxqCmH3ogsVMr-pM4b-fujP97D2f_Jt8Ds0Z0KWpWjFoyW4ED9KoHusbBJ2pzEWRMTkPPoi6cFjKdKmrBgpY0TT7gdA3yiX4CiquQxfbN3iZdO1CP4uOaScD2d9kiuLCznEkswVPAVLoo/s1600-h/kill_bill_volume_1_10.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxqCmH3ogsVMr-pM4b-fujP97D2f_Jt8Ds0Z0KWpWjFoyW4ED9KoHusbBJ2pzEWRMTkPPoi6cFjKdKmrBgpY0TT7gdA3yiX4CiquQxfbN3iZdO1CP4uOaScD2d9kiuLCznEkswVPAVLoo/s400/kill_bill_volume_1_10.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411095657744616674" /></a><br /><br /><br />19) <span style="font-style:italic;">Spirited Away</span> (Hayao Miyazaki) <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY67iozPZonfEySOCxPBBLKVCt8Fdn4XoNHqILvFF_sD7_CoIncIwZ8YuueU82JyryDnuDHhlpAVroUsSvKpS2VbbAokXKtbT4bf6LqovCDu9cxxES8IL1ph_O-PwEwsjgXAzaiVnaxfU/s1600-h/spirited_away_xl_01.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY67iozPZonfEySOCxPBBLKVCt8Fdn4XoNHqILvFF_sD7_CoIncIwZ8YuueU82JyryDnuDHhlpAVroUsSvKpS2VbbAokXKtbT4bf6LqovCDu9cxxES8IL1ph_O-PwEwsjgXAzaiVnaxfU/s400/spirited_away_xl_01.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411096202028824146" /></a><br /><br /><br />18) <span style="font-style:italic;">The Prestige</span> (Christopher Nolan)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkRjocb477JfyfCTY3tbjsCPzccCxnDXav8PHtM3i-9_EDok6j2rJ58Ltk_oT8ZNFtMX_8M401osPBT2zzyZCjawhdEds4F-h9CNRbfyiYecZ8JAUP9aiQTMZ7RgZxg2onEJRzLQTNyVE/s1600-h/The_Prestige_6_140824a.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 280px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkRjocb477JfyfCTY3tbjsCPzccCxnDXav8PHtM3i-9_EDok6j2rJ58Ltk_oT8ZNFtMX_8M401osPBT2zzyZCjawhdEds4F-h9CNRbfyiYecZ8JAUP9aiQTMZ7RgZxg2onEJRzLQTNyVE/s400/The_Prestige_6_140824a.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411096539433042130" /></a><br /><br /><br />17) <span style="font-style:italic;">George Washington</span> (David Gordon Green)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXDn6vVBlVRyXWRkj-H7Wg-kWXzqdziO5JAm5jWbWNiDD0UBwc1n7VQTPTf7-mxZgJQ7ErFvNm1ap7go0RlMQ_ElBBRgBLgzEFjmezgdk1hsVCTunstBxEC3CodG26dYseztdlkwSO4JM/s1600-h/george4.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 172px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXDn6vVBlVRyXWRkj-H7Wg-kWXzqdziO5JAm5jWbWNiDD0UBwc1n7VQTPTf7-mxZgJQ7ErFvNm1ap7go0RlMQ_ElBBRgBLgzEFjmezgdk1hsVCTunstBxEC3CodG26dYseztdlkwSO4JM/s400/george4.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411096745853663506" /></a><br /><br /><br />16) <span style="font-style:italic;">The Company</span> (Robert Altman)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG0pANc3gR4IdFx09waH6yV1Gtuea2-TFSwluool-U8Sd6ES7BRSK7-UOM3JeGpHS393i4GslmURVh145lasHsNG23tIhm2ZIUJa12zkiGSBgaLI2FiyWZCTbLoWQpO8XVl77UmUhTSsw/s1600-h/MV5BNzIyNTk5NDM4MV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwODUxNzM3._V1._SX485_SY321_.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 265px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG0pANc3gR4IdFx09waH6yV1Gtuea2-TFSwluool-U8Sd6ES7BRSK7-UOM3JeGpHS393i4GslmURVh145lasHsNG23tIhm2ZIUJa12zkiGSBgaLI2FiyWZCTbLoWQpO8XVl77UmUhTSsw/s400/MV5BNzIyNTk5NDM4MV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwODUxNzM3._V1._SX485_SY321_.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411097072855585266" /></a><br /><br /><br />15) <span style="font-style:italic;">Nobody Knows</span> (Hirokazu Koreeda)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi30U6ItCTUQtbvVa2AeNAvgS81Y5W9ouBfSx2O6F7n6FiXfoO0g3mKHuGZScZme1aau4Vkkwac1Ink4To0Qe8Pifrx2ttB4gqKkz0qs237hLNJREbqq1r5oKAFAvrI937s19vHuJG0lMI/s1600-h/nobody4.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi30U6ItCTUQtbvVa2AeNAvgS81Y5W9ouBfSx2O6F7n6FiXfoO0g3mKHuGZScZme1aau4Vkkwac1Ink4To0Qe8Pifrx2ttB4gqKkz0qs237hLNJREbqq1r5oKAFAvrI937s19vHuJG0lMI/s400/nobody4.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411097264199245138" /></a><br /><br /><br />14) <span style="font-style:italic;">Apocalypto</span> (Mel Gibson)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0JnsUgtvop_T5IE7GsukzfU3ji3duE-TuyUNSLI9XPOzKpWSYgP4n0GaZ3D24s9bNGoym29N6-pYaF2yrP7WGClgr9usPYy7zQC9DuPQlOUC42vk6oZBhaxxEHkHoG20svmI8SnhoYV4/s1600-h/apocalypto.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 232px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0JnsUgtvop_T5IE7GsukzfU3ji3duE-TuyUNSLI9XPOzKpWSYgP4n0GaZ3D24s9bNGoym29N6-pYaF2yrP7WGClgr9usPYy7zQC9DuPQlOUC42vk6oZBhaxxEHkHoG20svmI8SnhoYV4/s400/apocalypto.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411097416553053026" /></a><br /><br /><br />13) <span style="font-style:italic;">The Virgin Suicides</span> (Sofia Coppola)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFe2zEfiI55TgmeU1jRNtfT-DL3gheTE1Ra9PcVv4JE07z4bqnEqLiLinuxLE_ucTiYPPX1Dk7mbcYtvghEEVzOr0IEJ5gaJWGbylKSQ5Uu9hktSr2KetLk1IlAmW341Gn_JJ2TOdh41U/s1600-h/The_Virgin_Suicides_513.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFe2zEfiI55TgmeU1jRNtfT-DL3gheTE1Ra9PcVv4JE07z4bqnEqLiLinuxLE_ucTiYPPX1Dk7mbcYtvghEEVzOr0IEJ5gaJWGbylKSQ5Uu9hktSr2KetLk1IlAmW341Gn_JJ2TOdh41U/s400/The_Virgin_Suicides_513.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411097705856842882" /></a><br /><br /><br />12) <span style="font-style:italic;">The White Diamond</span> (Werner Herzog)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzq5ps8lw_szteZxYm3PuWl_wFO1Ie1d6dY0a91cDQXjap_vIMI2vhWblmtLqKrSS2Eagn0KTvBwezHnw1-qbF3dv6LDde0474-g9mmkA4Wi91nRySbIXV5pfxka9J9kGj6gpRYDIK7hg/s1600-h/werner+herzog+-+the+white+diamond5.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzq5ps8lw_szteZxYm3PuWl_wFO1Ie1d6dY0a91cDQXjap_vIMI2vhWblmtLqKrSS2Eagn0KTvBwezHnw1-qbF3dv6LDde0474-g9mmkA4Wi91nRySbIXV5pfxka9J9kGj6gpRYDIK7hg/s400/werner+herzog+-+the+white+diamond5.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411097951841007538" /></a><br /><br /><br />11)<span style="font-style:italic;"> In America</span> (Jim Sheridan)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHhKtOKWlxcwow5glGl9fR0VZ3ww0aOTK4bugN9BJwjl2Nle-LrChs5phPVm3nv_tgwPhty1jK-zIMwQLnpBetvDfM_w2UBkRwdA6WvnAe8jQ6q__ltHU77y_CitT3x4hhcdsVIAMgb6U/s1600-h/MV5BMTcxNzMzMzYzNl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNDg1OTY3._V1._SX485_SY331_.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 273px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHhKtOKWlxcwow5glGl9fR0VZ3ww0aOTK4bugN9BJwjl2Nle-LrChs5phPVm3nv_tgwPhty1jK-zIMwQLnpBetvDfM_w2UBkRwdA6WvnAe8jQ6q__ltHU77y_CitT3x4hhcdsVIAMgb6U/s400/MV5BMTcxNzMzMzYzNl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNDg1OTY3._V1._SX485_SY331_.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411098182332627378" /></a><br /><br /><br />10) <span style="font-style:italic;">2046</span> (Wong Kar Wai)<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOk50W9LNeT17gvab268CDLwn_KcRDkhFu3OOGuzeAvy8KnethRoYCCHrvaLAKykiGjuGtnHyH7DDngrVazotv6y2EO5xdZ7dL4h2zM32QONE59ODqhu7mQj7fix-R3R4tcTmDA7YTHAM/s1600-h/2046-leung.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 311px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOk50W9LNeT17gvab268CDLwn_KcRDkhFu3OOGuzeAvy8KnethRoYCCHrvaLAKykiGjuGtnHyH7DDngrVazotv6y2EO5xdZ7dL4h2zM32QONE59ODqhu7mQj7fix-R3R4tcTmDA7YTHAM/s400/2046-leung.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411098417578061762" /></a></span><br /><br /><br />9) <span style="font-style:italic;">War of the Worlds</span> (Steven Spielberg)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMrrq2a5EsJGF6CLYp8aKEDmz8lbP8nFDCM_EshCMa_Hc0GgS2jibFCwiP2uV4DqPQTmbV57sddS5wvVMS8MO79Fn5Mw1PbOl1dJ_XqA3s58UTVVFgXoQHemSuG-Gp8aIM5qUeM0WgKSE/s1600-h/2005_war_of_the_worlds_691.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 241px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMrrq2a5EsJGF6CLYp8aKEDmz8lbP8nFDCM_EshCMa_Hc0GgS2jibFCwiP2uV4DqPQTmbV57sddS5wvVMS8MO79Fn5Mw1PbOl1dJ_XqA3s58UTVVFgXoQHemSuG-Gp8aIM5qUeM0WgKSE/s400/2005_war_of_the_worlds_691.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411099323797730818" /></a><br /><br /><br />8) <span style="font-style:italic;">Hero</span> (Zhang Yimou)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhce7yHDCnFH8zAHJ-MmHYSL-RD43bkarHA8eg1sRwE5xEu1RHaFx8Exbi_LpGgv17yftigwMCcdSX2G_hlSsKKPVta37eWA8QCgZZZCCeG-qDvab7bxE6U-J-8hhHNQXzf1BYymre1Mx8/s1600-h/hero2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhce7yHDCnFH8zAHJ-MmHYSL-RD43bkarHA8eg1sRwE5xEu1RHaFx8Exbi_LpGgv17yftigwMCcdSX2G_hlSsKKPVta37eWA8QCgZZZCCeG-qDvab7bxE6U-J-8hhHNQXzf1BYymre1Mx8/s400/hero2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411098936777048066" /></a><br /><br /><br />7) <span style="font-style:italic;">The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou</span> (Wes Anderson)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs_7VRl0NErWQxriet1nz94Adzk28X3m6XUar09BCvOWjoq2gEomtiEJ32mLIPI8YaCaz20aDV53nwzvSqyoeDDSmEbrKVTdk5szd3c4Ba48GddMuYSWmVctqFO_DfxCT6AiUUEYjWJEs/s1600-h/life-aquatic-with-steve-zissou-7.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 266px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs_7VRl0NErWQxriet1nz94Adzk28X3m6XUar09BCvOWjoq2gEomtiEJ32mLIPI8YaCaz20aDV53nwzvSqyoeDDSmEbrKVTdk5szd3c4Ba48GddMuYSWmVctqFO_DfxCT6AiUUEYjWJEs/s400/life-aquatic-with-steve-zissou-7.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411099583150254306" /></a><br /><br /><br />6) <span style="font-style:italic;">Lilya 4-Ever</span> (Lukas Moodysson) <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0I4V2jAnsQfMjB-f4oRwJnkwRiCe5EXz7vftDvaWpyn5_gBF2BOTf5P8MFuYSgoXKE7N8r9euWYegL6OazAFsmajFEdiCv4ys5fn2BHuZaFpCK_hYHfnAnflJEBsopgo-Y86n34T46Sw/s1600-h/200503-lilja-01.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0I4V2jAnsQfMjB-f4oRwJnkwRiCe5EXz7vftDvaWpyn5_gBF2BOTf5P8MFuYSgoXKE7N8r9euWYegL6OazAFsmajFEdiCv4ys5fn2BHuZaFpCK_hYHfnAnflJEBsopgo-Y86n34T46Sw/s400/200503-lilja-01.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411099837319028162" /></a><br /><br /><br />5) <span style="font-style:italic;">The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford</span> (Andrew Dominik)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglRxW90Q7cpj9GLTv7uPOOHRRDe-9-BckV_kR7rsmR9ouHh3SJ_2PHISw2lkx1stnP8ybXAk0CQdXIMpB7gT8XieV9c-kMQvVZZ7En2eeUg6uIXMRnyvHk6yQdvcHSEGBKYAC0RkvUhqg/s1600-h/Brad-Pitt-in-The-Assassination-of-Jesse-James-by-t_imagelarge.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 266px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglRxW90Q7cpj9GLTv7uPOOHRRDe-9-BckV_kR7rsmR9ouHh3SJ_2PHISw2lkx1stnP8ybXAk0CQdXIMpB7gT8XieV9c-kMQvVZZ7En2eeUg6uIXMRnyvHk6yQdvcHSEGBKYAC0RkvUhqg/s400/Brad-Pitt-in-The-Assassination-of-Jesse-James-by-t_imagelarge.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411100029194940114" /></a><br /><br /><br />4) <span style="font-style:italic;">The Man Who Wasn’t There</span> (Joel Coen)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirNGQmmbq2P0YeR_60WJAV8zffe-PSzXNt7gBj1rLv3lJLOMNLkwaXfYrq7mX_bwUBjCx9ZnBpvC7H2w4GFhUoDDrbF7Vge6wsilLiwVGQU2cXwJxonU-WmUAJvkldhk4ImO4hQw40fg0/s1600-h/manwhowasntthere.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 251px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirNGQmmbq2P0YeR_60WJAV8zffe-PSzXNt7gBj1rLv3lJLOMNLkwaXfYrq7mX_bwUBjCx9ZnBpvC7H2w4GFhUoDDrbF7Vge6wsilLiwVGQU2cXwJxonU-WmUAJvkldhk4ImO4hQw40fg0/s400/manwhowasntthere.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411100303553273778" /></a><br /><br /><br />3) <span style="font-style:italic;">Munich</span> (Steven Spielberg)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVCl-7ed0JZi1F0u-D2LPBGWXnCzqgGfp7NVbkTP24OIRNB7VpmAe_Kn_4-ybs1GFRD0jClJ59ahAw-YVboSMJGacox9aRNuTp5UkxddzBBqwhC8R_t3VZi72AIN74_pcnbQTP_htnHBg/s1600-h/27824_2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 222px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVCl-7ed0JZi1F0u-D2LPBGWXnCzqgGfp7NVbkTP24OIRNB7VpmAe_Kn_4-ybs1GFRD0jClJ59ahAw-YVboSMJGacox9aRNuTp5UkxddzBBqwhC8R_t3VZi72AIN74_pcnbQTP_htnHBg/s400/27824_2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411100654445959122" /></a><br /><br /><br />2) <span style="font-style:italic;">Mulholland Drive</span> (David Lynch)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-v0fVm1eFP1jhp28tM9nBt3qlWn3gQbOJeI6Zv8e36vzpRfXC3JZegfz-ILmzJsAC3JlLuQl8-cWZZMya2Tq9Z3WIs9_iKDnpDt7V93OzVxY8RX96EEugV8yq2fr4lG-gn2Mj19v6XcA/s1600-h/md03.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-v0fVm1eFP1jhp28tM9nBt3qlWn3gQbOJeI6Zv8e36vzpRfXC3JZegfz-ILmzJsAC3JlLuQl8-cWZZMya2Tq9Z3WIs9_iKDnpDt7V93OzVxY8RX96EEugV8yq2fr4lG-gn2Mj19v6XcA/s400/md03.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411100934240926946" /></a><br /><br /><br />1) <span style="font-style:italic;">AI Artificial Intelligence</span> (Steven Spielberg)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3iNww4RGoJiCRm8gwHYbMk0c6ETK7KmJEurkH7tESK7d58DaDTapUkYlZDuyup4qxk2kMlt_iyBMcWJT_pCiVvctb-bcVgn9q6H3MnQBzfHtfw0mcr5wuoNTO4ZzMgmZ6lAkSbGMUYxA/s1600-h/ai59.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 250px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3iNww4RGoJiCRm8gwHYbMk0c6ETK7KmJEurkH7tESK7d58DaDTapUkYlZDuyup4qxk2kMlt_iyBMcWJT_pCiVvctb-bcVgn9q6H3MnQBzfHtfw0mcr5wuoNTO4ZzMgmZ6lAkSbGMUYxA/s400/ai59.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411101361846334018" /></a><br /><br />ADDENDUM:<br /><br />Due to perceived conflict of interest, I no longer opine on <span style="font-style:italic;">Torque</span> in any critical forums. Suffice it to say, it has impacted my decade significantly.Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-54296074253119288492009-03-05T23:47:00.027-04:002009-03-06T12:29:08.626-04:00Update my heritage, Hollywood!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJBrxUi9XbVhiflQmnOee7UGaZHbLoZ7WFPyXG0LPL2ayohyphenhyphenfTsE6navjRD7XoxNLY6gB_yNM0SXxI4MtAiNl7iB4MVPWhXk1vc7JUbox9mjB_6LnIwzkRdRBUWLtZ7jrfVRWHg5jVVow/s1600-h/475_watchmen_090304.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 211px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJBrxUi9XbVhiflQmnOee7UGaZHbLoZ7WFPyXG0LPL2ayohyphenhyphenfTsE6navjRD7XoxNLY6gB_yNM0SXxI4MtAiNl7iB4MVPWhXk1vc7JUbox9mjB_6LnIwzkRdRBUWLtZ7jrfVRWHg5jVVow/s400/475_watchmen_090304.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5309941968421211218" /></a><br />Night falls on Halifax. <br /><br />I've been returned some DVDs that I loaned to a friend last fall, and decide to shelve them. The new Morrissey record, which I received in the mail this midafternoon, spins on my turntable. There is no thunder or lightning. This, dear reader, is the atmosphere of the setup for this particular blog.<br /><br />As I proceed to alphabetize my movies (which is something all passionate people do, but only those at my level of commitment alphabetize them by their directors' last names), I notice that something is off. <br /><br />My films no longer all fit on the shelves. <br /><br />The time had come to weed out my VHS. This task surprised me. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQbcAU2jeZu1KWhRzXSIiKRYDC6Qo3rbI_o5k5oJ_OoNUBIqpeUW9rKt9EQ36D-yRJXc-Xv267jAJb-JiBRyuMZGKVAKM0ZydgLLwrnupkfJN5doN13Ez9LopzLuQhYRE-RFfQFGn7p4I/s1600-h/face_off_ver2.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 208px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQbcAU2jeZu1KWhRzXSIiKRYDC6Qo3rbI_o5k5oJ_OoNUBIqpeUW9rKt9EQ36D-yRJXc-Xv267jAJb-JiBRyuMZGKVAKM0ZydgLLwrnupkfJN5doN13Ez9LopzLuQhYRE-RFfQFGn7p4I/s320/face_off_ver2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5309947044544185954" /></a>Why the hell do I still have 122 VHS tapes of movies that I haven't replaced on DVD or Blu-ray? <br /><br />But more importantly, <i>122?!</i> <br /><br />I guess I never found the inclination in the DVD years to upgrade my copy of <i>Home Alone 2: Lost in New York</i>. But there's no excuse not to have <i>Face/Off</i> or the first <i>Austin Powers</i> on DVD yet. <br /><br />With my shelves given their long-needed VHS enema, I still have a vulgar amount of movies on them. I calculate the dough spent on these discs and feel some pride and some upset. That's money I could really use. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZkim3TczzJ3YWI55r6usXgVfF5Uj-NXg2j10ZBvK_MeRaddx9FyBv1-sEUavhEMkBqtwlDES8eohrN-iViFC9bSnGpmJaoCsiWTuCvyFBMxA6uHa77SzJ05ggIUaJMA3V7IfkNZlRsd8/s1600-h/austin-powers_l.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZkim3TczzJ3YWI55r6usXgVfF5Uj-NXg2j10ZBvK_MeRaddx9FyBv1-sEUavhEMkBqtwlDES8eohrN-iViFC9bSnGpmJaoCsiWTuCvyFBMxA6uHa77SzJ05ggIUaJMA3V7IfkNZlRsd8/s320/austin-powers_l.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5309947406740428642" /></a>But at the same time, it's in my wiring to keep them. These movies are my heritage. They're integral to the fabric of my being. If I display my guts on the wall next to my television like this, that's worthy of respect. I'm just the most honest person in the universe like that. <br /><br />What this is getting at is the notion of Pop Heritage. It's the reason people are so protective of their favourite movies being remade, and the comic book properties they love getting turned into movies. <br /><br />I'm not completely against remakes. And I think literal comic book adaptations miss the point of comic books and of movies. But I understand the protectiveness.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3mtRNVqIOrgrwovbRzB-6Kslt2hOVNQ4f4FxOYxUtwlInJnF0zGqifThFPFLCQzqoF0EvQgPgTamzENGfGxJLZAaYtt-FjA-ZzG7f3mw1bHod6tCRyp_A70M-YkguXU6YyZ6eXgJM2NU/s1600-h/Brittany03.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 311px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3mtRNVqIOrgrwovbRzB-6Kslt2hOVNQ4f4FxOYxUtwlInJnF0zGqifThFPFLCQzqoF0EvQgPgTamzENGfGxJLZAaYtt-FjA-ZzG7f3mw1bHod6tCRyp_A70M-YkguXU6YyZ6eXgJM2NU/s400/Brittany03.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5309945148798125074" /></a><br /><br /><i>Watchmen</i> is a perfect example. It's not a book I've lived with for 20 years. I only first read it 2 months ago. So when I hear people saying, "They better not fuck this up," I think, yeah, that would be a shame. Because, of course, I hope it's good. <br /><br />But I hope all movies are good. <br /><br />And who knows, I explained, maybe we'll all be surprised and the great movie this spring will be something like <i>Race to Witch Mountain</i>. A great movie is a great movie. What does it matter which one it is?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmQks93neUIhFmche5RhgoqIQ_LiNqz3QkYcMMh3vXrQo-bHAQn_Pfhqj8KxgUIprwi-KKCg4svcIoil8y8sBAUqnkOEb6oFlObvIMN_D0fJMrjRKwYWhchNDILQx12XbnUG20HXFZHo8/s1600-h/watchmen2.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 268px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmQks93neUIhFmche5RhgoqIQ_LiNqz3QkYcMMh3vXrQo-bHAQn_Pfhqj8KxgUIprwi-KKCg4svcIoil8y8sBAUqnkOEb6oFlObvIMN_D0fJMrjRKwYWhchNDILQx12XbnUG20HXFZHo8/s400/watchmen2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5309942699769903042" /></a>I have conflicted feelings about Zack Snyder's <i>Watchmen</i>, enjoying it to some degree. It's faithful to the graphic novel to a fault where the faithful indulgence (yes, I know the <i>specifics</i> of the ending are different) makes the last hour a drag. And Snyder doesn't figure out how to make the comic heroes not appear silly in this medium. A lot of what's interesting about the movie was already interesting about the comic. <br /><br />For a basically faithful adaptation, it sometimes has a sense of film style, establishing some interesting elements as a movie. <br /><br />So what do the comic fans want from this? <br /><br />The problem with a <i>Watchmen</i> movie is this: The only way the film won't be an artistic letdown is if it isolates some purists and finds its own footing. It has to blow minds the way the comic apparently did for all these people 20 years ago. That won't occur just by replicating the comic. It has to happen a whole other time, in another way, as a movie. <br /><br />At the end we get something sort of all right. It shouldn't dignify anybody's 20-year obsessions. But it's better than it likely could have been. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLfoZmElPiwzSIzFNiX36_VW4t9vJQEn7XPh4hIB5Mmi0F3Q52BPQWD-UDk1rEHdiMZwiLy8MyMyodcru2r744meD1dy3bNeIoXng1FdPYcKJeFaKJEa3umKIYWNdEsPnLxKTtvUfAxxU/s1600-h/the_last_house_on_the_left_remake.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 297px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLfoZmElPiwzSIzFNiX36_VW4t9vJQEn7XPh4hIB5Mmi0F3Q52BPQWD-UDk1rEHdiMZwiLy8MyMyodcru2r744meD1dy3bNeIoXng1FdPYcKJeFaKJEa3umKIYWNdEsPnLxKTtvUfAxxU/s400/the_last_house_on_the_left_remake.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5309945783889103154" /></a>So the best way to approach movies like <i>Watchmen</i> is not to invest in the hype. If it ends up sucking, it doesn't really matter beyond the time and money the consumer spent on it. The comic everyone loved is still around. Warner Bros. isn't sending a hit squad to take the graphic novel out of peoples' houses. <br /><br />But, in another way, it does matter!<br /><br />It matters because we all care too much about what other people think. <br /><br />If the <i>Last House on the Left</i> remake is watered down ultra-slick baloney, the title is tarnished by the Friday night date crowd. They'll be going around for the rest of their lives saying "<i> Last House on the Left</i> was soo gay!," but they won't have seen the more hardcore other movie with that name that came first, and which looked like it was made by sociopathic junior high students. <br /><br />That's the fear of remakes reselling one's heritage in "updated" versions that are BASED ON A TRUE STORY even when they didn't used to be. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXHkRXjlNQ8x8qxOI4SdQKKA1GoscnKDHPKfhptLHNESCOwuhMOE4aS2wc2kZUF5dNeDaioEtX_SwDUjN2ix-MYc-ea9aPK3EJh81GWezPErExchWBJOAxN0Z-pFSHVEBGrwUeYQI_Izc/s1600-h/planet+thade.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 268px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXHkRXjlNQ8x8qxOI4SdQKKA1GoscnKDHPKfhptLHNESCOwuhMOE4aS2wc2kZUF5dNeDaioEtX_SwDUjN2ix-MYc-ea9aPK3EJh81GWezPErExchWBJOAxN0Z-pFSHVEBGrwUeYQI_Izc/s400/planet+thade.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5309945989222065426" /></a>The bottom line with remake-distaste is simply how they're titled. If Tim Burton's <i>Planet of the Apes</i> were called <i>Showdown on Planet Monkey</i> it would have a better reputation. It would be a ripoff rather than a remake, which is the acceptable way to go. Most movies that aren't acknowledged as remakes are remakes in disguise. There's not really that many stories left to tell in Hollywood, without getting weirder than Hollywood allows. <br /><br />With the recent <i>Friday the 13th</i>, nobody much cared to protest on message boards, because the original wasn't that great anyway. It was heritage that not that many film geeks really geek out about. That movie's problem isn't inherent to remakes. It's the same problem that all sorts of films have right now. It has no personality. It doesn't feel like it was written by real people.<br /><br />The established-property trend is lazy, but let's be open-minded.<br /><br />It doesn't matter where movies come from. An adaptation might find its own way to be interesting. A remake can still be creative. And <i>Fired Up!</i> might really just be <i>American Pie 9: Keep Bringin' It On</i>.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8JNSnuUgs7af6dRxGftyA9suUfJ5jG4iQCSo9V8HuGmZ8epVN5Nkr4F2HqUZfvLyHlJjSSZewDhJo4ZK-IXuufOcMTAX5m1fcyIqBQug1uV2TGUsYQ7akshgiJgpGoMQfvfTx5n2MFWw/s1600-h/2000_Bring_It_On_356.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8JNSnuUgs7af6dRxGftyA9suUfJ5jG4iQCSo9V8HuGmZ8epVN5Nkr4F2HqUZfvLyHlJjSSZewDhJo4ZK-IXuufOcMTAX5m1fcyIqBQug1uV2TGUsYQ7akshgiJgpGoMQfvfTx5n2MFWw/s400/2000_Bring_It_On_356.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5309946707173342098" /></a>Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-25755261810617314572008-11-11T14:33:00.000-04:002017-11-10T12:17:00.990-04:00A Manifesto: Indulgent film-crit talk, part 1 of 14Roger Ebert recently posted a list of guidelines for being a critic. These are his rules to live by. <br />
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http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2008/10/eberts_little_rule_book.html<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKpl1XoQvGELsqNWCxZtDVHdqZeJCGGlYATargUrz4Qcp3TN101ip8wTLkGRvClTar-A1_KLqkZEXG-Bct0ODCl7QJf3M90y49Zpy5NfkysXIXVJLSDm984hj9iGIRR_BPMMmGobdrJyA/s1600-h/vanessa-hudgens-total-request-live-04.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5267497251997543666" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKpl1XoQvGELsqNWCxZtDVHdqZeJCGGlYATargUrz4Qcp3TN101ip8wTLkGRvClTar-A1_KLqkZEXG-Bct0ODCl7QJf3M90y49Zpy5NfkysXIXVJLSDm984hj9iGIRR_BPMMmGobdrJyA/s400/vanessa-hudgens-total-request-live-04.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 332px;" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifSSO0WFkR1A29ZTihtYBJFFB1qasf7uHLNtHxV5IeuQrTKzNSBPzeG2qZUtg1y1BXzS712hKfKKonuijQqDZ7jPrM4pJpCq2hqVYxlUEyoz_Rc0MG4fF9WosIjZwkgGotwUqCami48cA/s1600-h/coach-carter_l.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5267495982796137330" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifSSO0WFkR1A29ZTihtYBJFFB1qasf7uHLNtHxV5IeuQrTKzNSBPzeG2qZUtg1y1BXzS712hKfKKonuijQqDZ7jPrM4pJpCq2hqVYxlUEyoz_Rc0MG4fF9WosIjZwkgGotwUqCami48cA/s400/coach-carter_l.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 400px; margin: 0 10px 10px 0; width: 300px;" /></a><br />
It's an entertaining read, but Ebert is only scratching the surface. Some points, such as that critics shouldn't ask stars for autographs, have really no effect on one's reviewing capability, and are just about appearances. I don't care about that. Critics are free to act like sycophants in their own time; it's none of my business. Let the work speak for itself.<br />
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A lot of his list seems obvious, but I like that Ebert points out how hyperbolic critics like to get. We should be careful when handing out words like "masterpiece."<br />
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I'll add some more. These are some of the words that I try to live by.<br />
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- Don't brag about how brave you are for watching a movie few people in your age bracket would generally go to. It's your job to keep up with movies, and most people envy your job. If you write about <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1hgqHEq6ISbvjwxHvjTA_LAdMNgIS4z5-jX_CM80soRDqQ5slTwv0h1Hmb0kCKipu8uIUjAdBqFF6tV-4gxDdqyZmuQ1stFalbrX6Q9NZtOpn11K0UAtdxIXRQ93MulL3rTMkVhjUygM/s1600-h/2006-01-25_121232_heffalump_feat2.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5267496817266181490" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1hgqHEq6ISbvjwxHvjTA_LAdMNgIS4z5-jX_CM80soRDqQ5slTwv0h1Hmb0kCKipu8uIUjAdBqFF6tV-4gxDdqyZmuQ1stFalbrX6Q9NZtOpn11K0UAtdxIXRQ93MulL3rTMkVhjUygM/s400/2006-01-25_121232_heffalump_feat2.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 193px; margin: 0 0 10px 10px; width: 160px;" /></a>how when you went to see <i>Pooh's Heffalump Movie</i> by yourself, the parents all shielded their kids because they figured you were a pedophile, that's good. Just don't look for sympathy. Sometimes a day at a movie theatre is just like anyone else's office job.<br />
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- Also, don't publicly complain about work conditions. Nobody feels sorry for Ebert and Roeper if there isn't an early screening of <i>The Amityville Horror</i> they can attend. I live in Halifax where I have to see most movies with paying customers after they're released. That is not the sound of me complaining. (eg. Ebert and Roeper)<br />
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- Never review a movie you haven't watched in its entirety. This is basic. <br />
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- Don't bash movies you haven't seen, even off-handedly. Any idiot can do that. The point of your job is that you're not supposed to be an idiot. (eg. Jeffrey Wells saying <i>Pride and Glory</i> was by far the best movie opening in its week when he clearly hadn't seen <i>Saw V</i> and <i>High School Musical 3</i>. Now, neither of those movies are that good, but I only know because I saw them. They're both better than <i>Pride and Glory</i>.) <br />
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- Have an open mind. Don't walk into <i>Gigli</i> planning to hate it. The more your prejudices rule you, the more you're irrelevant. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4nRThAjmwruFz2W4iYAb9la6pLY9STEbGbJbRPQ_sQwJ0No0E6Y93LSlliWzOJjNOtTgsBChpbf9ftwX84BLBGiXtp0mtDdGq1ca6ISJlP2DVDd6tulrH8vDgPaPXVHHblPN1cPG8WpM/s1600-h/00000007.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5267498344211141090" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4nRThAjmwruFz2W4iYAb9la6pLY9STEbGbJbRPQ_sQwJ0No0E6Y93LSlliWzOJjNOtTgsBChpbf9ftwX84BLBGiXtp0mtDdGq1ca6ISJlP2DVDd6tulrH8vDgPaPXVHHblPN1cPG8WpM/s400/00000007.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 300px; margin: 0 10px 10px 0; width: 400px;" /></a>- Accept that "critical consensus" is swayed by hype. A critic should never use the phrase "that's supposed to be good" as a recommendation for a movie he/she hasn't seen.<br />
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- Understand that movies are artworks. I know that they're there to sell tickets, but it's not your job to look at them that way.<br />
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- Do not distinguish between highbrow and lowbrow art, you pretentious <i>New Yorker</i> wannabe. You should be able to recognize that there's more artistic merit in <i>Resident Evil: Extinction</i> than in <i>Blindness</i>. <br />
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- On a related note, important subject matter should not be mistaken for important movies.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiIUP-eNPDKnLcgJevfmO071PiOT69-JPZQXQVv9xl8g7c0ZFgoXBYPdHPWw33OZrIxQ_R6T17b_8yC9dOpyVKDOgXzvQekV3M2bPjKztqelv6r7AI6gjX00rra5Kwz9twFDdipXTO5Q4/s1600-h/blindness_l.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5267498543258085810" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiIUP-eNPDKnLcgJevfmO071PiOT69-JPZQXQVv9xl8g7c0ZFgoXBYPdHPWw33OZrIxQ_R6T17b_8yC9dOpyVKDOgXzvQekV3M2bPjKztqelv6r7AI6gjX00rra5Kwz9twFDdipXTO5Q4/s400/blindness_l.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 300px; margin: 0 10px 10px 0; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
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- Stop worrying that a movie "doesn't know who it's made for." This is a marketer's concern, not yours.<br />
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- Nobody likes a hater. I make a conscious effort not to single out individual people for the reason a movie isn't working. <br />
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- Know why you're doing this job. Figure out what makes you different than the 500 other film writers out there. Have something to contribute.<br />
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- Know your subject. In the words of Armond White, "I'm not interested in the opinions of people who don't know what they're talking about."<br />
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- Know what the hell you're talking about.<br />
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- Have style. Memorizing these rules isn't going to teach you how to write. <br />
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However, I will give you the following three points:<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiRYcVGiP5rd5g43HvaPsW9aYW1QpzuqVD5RoHltvIY2ZIZtB5hmSkAOP25jjVdeCdxjC3KM9Dih_5vDINDxJAt0GVHyOdhuTdoe-l0W7gGxlc1emU2lZ7Za0GafkkYFW-HirzRarbJCo/s1600-h/Employee+2.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5267498816398509522" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiRYcVGiP5rd5g43HvaPsW9aYW1QpzuqVD5RoHltvIY2ZIZtB5hmSkAOP25jjVdeCdxjC3KM9Dih_5vDINDxJAt0GVHyOdhuTdoe-l0W7gGxlc1emU2lZ7Za0GafkkYFW-HirzRarbJCo/s400/Employee+2.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 259px; margin: 0 0 10px 10px; width: 360px;" /></a><br />
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-Don't write more than you think. This problem is huge amongst critics. <br />
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- Quit referring to stars you're not close friends with by their first names. This tends to sound dumb even when non-critics do it in conversation. "Oh, I loved that Dane and Jessica film, but thought Brad's new movie would have been better if they cast Angelina instead of Frances as his co-worker." <br />
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- Writing in cliche is a symptom of thinking in cliche. Avoid pseudo-intelligent phrases like "the fact that" when a "because" will suffice, and avoid backwards sentences like "explosions and nudity do not a good movie make."<br />
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- Be consistent. Don't pretend to suddenly hate <i>Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull</i> after the online community turns against it. Have some morals.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKsupxvp6yOFyui_KGrWCDNY8CyXrVn0tG4ZrZ1vHWwBUKQLtibefbsrQJeIKzbFfiBsIJ05RIhQxJKv7Jm20k3YHSodVE0ImJ_iN1ewsFKUhGrByKlMu9uurm8xF-X8VHw_yIVw73mQs/s1600-h/burn-after-reading_l.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5267499160116705922" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKsupxvp6yOFyui_KGrWCDNY8CyXrVn0tG4ZrZ1vHWwBUKQLtibefbsrQJeIKzbFfiBsIJ05RIhQxJKv7Jm20k3YHSodVE0ImJ_iN1ewsFKUhGrByKlMu9uurm8xF-X8VHw_yIVw73mQs/s400/burn-after-reading_l.jpg" style="float: left; height: 300px; margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 400px;" /></a>- Be honest. If your review of <i>A Beautiful Mind</i> ends with, "This movie taught me that schizophrenics are people too, and from now on I will always think about their plight," no one will take you seriously. (eg. A review of <i>A Beautiful Mind</i> that I once read. Author forgotten.)<br />
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- Be patient. Don't declare something "THE BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR" if it's still June. <br />
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- In fact, stop thinking of everything in terms of years. You just end up promoting the system that gets movies made so they can win Oscars. <br />
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- Realize that movies aren't invalidated simply because they're not tailored to your demographic. Case in point, IMDb voters who hate movies about sports and black people. <br />
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- Don't aspire to predict what people will think, or to reaffirm popular consensus. This forum has been given to you, not Joe the Plumber. Critics are being fired all across America because newspaper editors can just as easily hire the sports section guy to tell people what they think. I don't ask my dentist for opinions on sculpture. But every idiot thinks they're versed in movies.<br />
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- Remember why you liked movies in the first place.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYrqVn3C9vXiMuL-BichnRk35vFxLfi0hrpzZQ7fxgiSmpnPOW1xaZijupcotloN7q7YqP0DsUSkiraC84gJwm66oCGtpRqgAtEMBQa-yLxqsmhLWptYqge5v5FyhAoTDiH3nGN5ORDok/s1600-h/w_oliver_stone_2008_1.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5267501590148326018" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYrqVn3C9vXiMuL-BichnRk35vFxLfi0hrpzZQ7fxgiSmpnPOW1xaZijupcotloN7q7YqP0DsUSkiraC84gJwm66oCGtpRqgAtEMBQa-yLxqsmhLWptYqge5v5FyhAoTDiH3nGN5ORDok/s400/w_oliver_stone_2008_1.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 266px;" /></a>Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-41477625243351045442008-03-26T21:49:00.000-03:002008-03-27T13:43:56.650-03:00The Once Halibut Theory<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7eG2HF5EXYgxK8sUKKRvTgZAptm4fwh8jUAH50SkYk6tXqqa5zCwNhvQrHvzwGpPyIgx4rbDhmoWjSOYUKsPFcYIiXgBscaT4K2thfFjXZmWaoGC-cWjR3tGAhGt9A21yJZDaK0gW2hg/s1600-h/Kid-vs-Habanero-Pepper.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7eG2HF5EXYgxK8sUKKRvTgZAptm4fwh8jUAH50SkYk6tXqqa5zCwNhvQrHvzwGpPyIgx4rbDhmoWjSOYUKsPFcYIiXgBscaT4K2thfFjXZmWaoGC-cWjR3tGAhGt9A21yJZDaK0gW2hg/s320/Kid-vs-Habanero-Pepper.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182271805275383346" /></a><br />I've been cooking with habanero peppers lately. The habanero is the third hottest chili pepper in the world. It is so hot that if you don't wash your hands after handling one, your hands will start hurting in 20 minutes. And if you don't wash your hands and then have to go pee, you will begin to envy the monotony of female bathroom technique like never before. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZkMdYLTRQY0MAEvp3OSx8OFT9iLL_ETDYTFnGzDAu9uzOVEGVEhD1re-skEymx34rxXOurfmUbJPs6HocP4JXCC1bS5R-95pwwEajqvDHzKlQgDEMPj9N0pC7dzIneXBZUYIxiHiBnmk/s1600-h/250px-Habanero_closeup_edit2.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZkMdYLTRQY0MAEvp3OSx8OFT9iLL_ETDYTFnGzDAu9uzOVEGVEhD1re-skEymx34rxXOurfmUbJPs6HocP4JXCC1bS5R-95pwwEajqvDHzKlQgDEMPj9N0pC7dzIneXBZUYIxiHiBnmk/s320/250px-Habanero_closeup_edit2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182271951304271426" /></a>Now, the reason I'm doing this isn't to defy Joseph Kahn's insistence that white people prefer food with no flavour. In truth, it's because I'm rather impatient and don't want to waste consumed calories on foods that are "subtle." I have a right to flavour-experiences. I will live in the extreme.<br /><br />I try to eat a lot of fish. Fish have Omega Supreme Transformative powers, as well as the extraplanetary potential of Mercury Poisoning, and they're good for your skin or something. If you want to conquer Earth and shit diamonds, eat a lot of fish. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPIj7hxFIP61125iL2XFJ09LB7ZIKKtveDvDiKqMQjJSJNUa9P4-BvhLnWkFggWZt1rn6dqivryxUVKNYxirRGx1Qvt_Z3jpM6E4-vrJJ9VDB9Zbao2_BZtTdqMC_CTsZe0o5PV-bE8NQ/s1600-h/atlantic_halibut.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPIj7hxFIP61125iL2XFJ09LB7ZIKKtveDvDiKqMQjJSJNUa9P4-BvhLnWkFggWZt1rn6dqivryxUVKNYxirRGx1Qvt_Z3jpM6E4-vrJJ9VDB9Zbao2_BZtTdqMC_CTsZe0o5PV-bE8NQ/s320/atlantic_halibut.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182272282016753234" /></a>The problem is that some fish doesn't have much taste. I encounter this problem mainly with halibut. My mom claims that she remembers halibut used to pack more of a punch than it does these days. I won't vouch for the accountability of someone else's memory, but this got me thinking...<br /><br />As a survival mechanism, wouldn't it be beneficial if species evolved to lose flavour? I mean, sure, we're several inches taller than the people our age were in the 1940s, but if we're ever in a plane crash with a bunch of rugby players in the middle of nowhere, something should have to protect us as soon as the fattest guy gets hungry. Those that would be picked to get eaten last would be those that evolved to have tasteless flesh. Like halibut. <br /><br />From what I know about animals (speaking as an owner of a black lab, who knows enough to know that saying "My dog is black" is a poor way to win race relation disputes), I don't believe that animals are ever naturally spicy. One time I was at a party and some dude brought a tray of bison sausage, and I thought, damn, no wonder those bison got shot, they're spicy as hell. The guy informed me that those spices were artificially added later. This makes sense. It's also techniques like this that make it integral for beings to evolve to taste like as little as possible.<br /><br />Having no taste makes survival easier. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpkhQlq3_8zKda3zZoPmSOZl7IHyoJ27glVxjX-PNR0enD6r5m1GhByVSIdlWjzXspquFi0EtSn8UIDtNojgloEUDM6YaeJi6DQzuTYp5eKbOF5xD44KmvyecjI_tg5sSuEy_QLid5bKs/s1600-h/once.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpkhQlq3_8zKda3zZoPmSOZl7IHyoJ27glVxjX-PNR0enD6r5m1GhByVSIdlWjzXspquFi0EtSn8UIDtNojgloEUDM6YaeJi6DQzuTYp5eKbOF5xD44KmvyecjI_tg5sSuEy_QLid5bKs/s320/once.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182273935579162210" /></a>How else could I have been thrust into a 9-month long <i>Twilight Zone</i> episode where people keep coming up to me and telling me that the movie <i>Once</i> introduced them to the concepts of Art and Humanity? There's one explanation: People are evolving to like boring shit. Don't try to be all open-minded by denying it. Be truthful, and admit it. Fans of <i>Once</i> display a scary passion where they'd kill for it.<br /><br />If <i>Once</i> Lovers lived on an island commune, and I visited that commune, they would burn me in a Wicker Man.<br /><br />In a way, I understand this passion. Raised without religion, the movies I love inform my identity. I'd rather talk in-person with people about movies we agree on than get in fights over ones where we don't. Some films are just too integral to one's identity. So when you say, <i>Blue Velvet</i> sucks, you're insulting me. I know what that's like.<br /><br />It's also why it's so puzzling. What is it about <i>Once</i> that makes people look at it and think, "Yup, that's me"? When I watched the movie, I found it mediocre. I didn't hate it, but considered it too inconsequential to even be worth reviewing. Now that people in their 20s are losing their shit for it, I'm sort of embarrassed for them.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYWjvZy3c0Ly_TWem98nC-XDwLEuiOr5C-a6xnfXfFXcCiO0ge17AkP1cLKvXSbEaIjpvKf6PzC8ujwAZvdF-3mC2WHFML2toKfR38NTem-X6eYe0VxwjzJB6I68g7JZqeljYD6a_Wofo/s1600-h/famesgang.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYWjvZy3c0Ly_TWem98nC-XDwLEuiOr5C-a6xnfXfFXcCiO0ge17AkP1cLKvXSbEaIjpvKf6PzC8ujwAZvdF-3mC2WHFML2toKfR38NTem-X6eYe0VxwjzJB6I68g7JZqeljYD6a_Wofo/s320/famesgang.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182274227636938354" /></a><br />Nothing that makes movies incredible is contained in <i>Once</i>. The Irish drama stars Glen Hansard as a musician/vacuum cleaner repairman who falls for a girl played by Marketa Irglova. They record songs together, so the movie becomes a naturalistic musical--only director John Carney has not studied musical setpieces or short form videos, so his music and images create no emotional thrust. <br /><br />The handheld camerawork doesn't leave room for thought-out compositions. And the songs themselves are dead-eyed indie rock boilerplate. Movies don't get more hermetically and stereotypically white than <i>Once</i>. It's anti-matter--a movie for those who wish to be manipulated, but in a naturalistic way so they don't realize it's happening, and who wish to define themselves through musical fashion, but try to steer away from rock star personalities. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn_B6Tf4L5ThtNGeC44PMN1PUVJdd2h7UarV846MON6wByKQO2fyYTEh1yQbbzlKu1jWGnXAF7aIt82MneKd6I8Z97gWadaP58cKGSwWF5OSiAgP8FN2Y-e7r9PJmSffat4rTDA5W2YZk/s1600-h/whitezombie.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn_B6Tf4L5ThtNGeC44PMN1PUVJdd2h7UarV846MON6wByKQO2fyYTEh1yQbbzlKu1jWGnXAF7aIt82MneKd6I8Z97gWadaP58cKGSwWF5OSiAgP8FN2Y-e7r9PJmSffat4rTDA5W2YZk/s320/whitezombie.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182274468155106946" /></a>Did modern indie rock fans have any fun in high school, or did they listen to the mid-90s equivalents of City and Colour and Coldplay back then? Maybe they listened to the Fresh Prince and gangsta rap in junior high like I did, then they moved on to Soundgarden, KMFDM and White Zombie. Then it was Robbie Williams in their college years. Then Death Cab and the <i>Once</i> soundtrack. Tomorrow Yanni. That's not just a softening of musical style: Some of those acts are real artists. <br /><br />Certain people evolve to tastelessness when they grow older. It's easier, I guess.<br /><br />But I want to live.<br /><br />I don't mean to pick on <i>Once</i> fans so much. It's just that they're fucking everywhere. When you review movies people you don't know always want to tell you about awesome movies they just saw. I recently did a year-end radio show where this was the whole premise for an hour.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGBbdUTArvMEZWiE1SUYDbGLzKdiLV0RGADDIw-qKtPAAhI2z-7XohtWeYv8d7ACT7x6NxrsIhzdCe2NeDRJnAyBXt-0XtWZrWhYDld8QHsVBehLqK_jO8l3FGjfmPw279FilgxWBvhUs/s1600-h/Holmes.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGBbdUTArvMEZWiE1SUYDbGLzKdiLV0RGADDIw-qKtPAAhI2z-7XohtWeYv8d7ACT7x6NxrsIhzdCe2NeDRJnAyBXt-0XtWZrWhYDld8QHsVBehLqK_jO8l3FGjfmPw279FilgxWBvhUs/s320/Holmes.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182274790277654162" /></a>As one of two guest critics, I was in the reverse-spot position of having callers tell me about the best movies of 2007. I like doing this show, but something was in the air that day. I knew it was gonna be a long hour when the first caller was raving about <i>Mad Money</i>. Other recommended best movies of the year were <i>Shooter</i> and <i>A Beautiful Mind</i> (which came out 7 years ago, but I let it slide.) <br /><br />But the amount of people talking up <i>Once</i> eclipsed any other title. Even my perfectly sane co-guest was gaga for it. Genuinely curious (and determined to be polite), I responded to callers' raves with, "What did you like about it?" The answers would be along the lines of, "It was so beautiful. And when they're in the studio together, recording that song, that scene is just, ohh myyyy..." <br /><br />OK.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM3vocAYLcKQan7QShozr5HZN0zcIOccVXbQZegUy-HgiNNA8p3nL02T5XBg_CmekQI1SuxXP8JMAjxZQ7RDaojrPYEMWsJf00xsWFoL1waLkqLJFdU8rLF_yfXMi_5PXd_2r-Hz5bPD4/s1600-h/567754913_l.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM3vocAYLcKQan7QShozr5HZN0zcIOccVXbQZegUy-HgiNNA8p3nL02T5XBg_CmekQI1SuxXP8JMAjxZQ7RDaojrPYEMWsJf00xsWFoL1waLkqLJFdU8rLF_yfXMi_5PXd_2r-Hz5bPD4/s320/567754913_l.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182275846839609010" /></a>Then last week, Sarah Riley, who usually has some of the best movie taste of anyone, just had to write me about <i>Once</i>.<br /><br /><br /><br />"I cried like five minutes in. It's a beautiful film."<br /><br /><br /><br />"Not you too!," I wrote back. There goes another one. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />This much is clear. The movie <i>Once</i> does not care about me, for it has caused me much confusion about Darwin and halibut. For that, I cannot support it.<br /><br /><br />Never back down.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoWhM6-2g3U-tNqEpeutJetKl5gjMjDlb6wG3hjGd_-OaJw5uxeeCol6FdRNi7TJW91yNvwryw9kyh6e1LOV3hQ2PKyQwhd68kvppPv2YPulpgVMqQ3ed_RNi2KCScNLUZzyND9DPg8gQ/s1600-h/never.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoWhM6-2g3U-tNqEpeutJetKl5gjMjDlb6wG3hjGd_-OaJw5uxeeCol6FdRNi7TJW91yNvwryw9kyh6e1LOV3hQ2PKyQwhd68kvppPv2YPulpgVMqQ3ed_RNi2KCScNLUZzyND9DPg8gQ/s320/never.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182275297083795106" /></a>Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-28043964631984670392008-02-28T22:39:00.000-04:002008-03-28T01:29:35.384-03:00Stuff They Won't Teach You in SchoolA 10 year-old girl from Montana named Maryn Smith won a <i>National Geographic</i> contest for creating a mnemonic to remember the order and names of all 11 planets in our solar system. <br /><br />11!? <br /><br />I thought Pluto was cancelled as a planet, and it seems unfair that <i>National Geographic</i> would throw dwarf planets Ceres and Eris on top of that. <br /><br />So what did Maryn Smith come up with? <br /><br /><b>"My Very Exciting Magic Carpet Just Sailed Under Nine Palace Elephants."</b><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFlKFCfOCXiHlRvnmNtP1bMC228YGST3Qc_L7EP4CrZ7I064AZ1WuKhMojBnobzrG79h8B4UMT4gBPEKc4jOvIw_dgXwQOwdiL16E9TXVq5i71GQqrMXgzYeIAt4DS6Tz7-U1sob6kCKA/s1600-h/total+recall.gif"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFlKFCfOCXiHlRvnmNtP1bMC228YGST3Qc_L7EP4CrZ7I064AZ1WuKhMojBnobzrG79h8B4UMT4gBPEKc4jOvIw_dgXwQOwdiL16E9TXVq5i71GQqrMXgzYeIAt4DS6Tz7-U1sob6kCKA/s320/total+recall.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5172263397943709202" /></a><br /><br />I'm sure Ms. Smith is a nice person, or whatever, but her mnemonic is making the cosmos more confusing. <br /><br />First off, it has a clear Earth-bias which I feel is inappropriate for the subject matter. As a mnemonic line, it's hard to remember. This may be remedied, as the mnemonic is now being made into a pop song by Lisa Loeb (best known as the girl who encouraged geeky guys to come out about their glasses fetish with the Ethan Hawke directed <i>Reality Bites</i> video "Stay"). <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZwp7Hc1xZR7hps3lvYj4LDzdyb-z-8V4Xp2E89QTuA7rNddQiFz88BUYUojMvgfRubTbtibfZT_Fg5cb8rW2lJAfKgqri-0wslbKPmDoWSoy4eYUgZQFEOeAdjU2DWsCuxTpGIC9IPEA/s1600-h/hotgirlswithglassessp3.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZwp7Hc1xZR7hps3lvYj4LDzdyb-z-8V4Xp2E89QTuA7rNddQiFz88BUYUojMvgfRubTbtibfZT_Fg5cb8rW2lJAfKgqri-0wslbKPmDoWSoy4eYUgZQFEOeAdjU2DWsCuxTpGIC9IPEA/s320/hotgirlswithglassessp3.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5172267151745125970" /></a><br /><br />Until the day when Loeb teaches us how to sing about sailing under palace elephants, Smith should be proud of her win. She just hasn't yet convinced me she's a great writer. <br /><br />I know. She's 10. I'm jealous. I never got anything published at that age. <br /><br />Smith isn't alone in her lack of mnemonic poetry giftedness. Most people talk in a way to reveal that they're their own bad writers. Their concept of good writing is generally wrong too. I believe Oscar winning screenwriter Diablo Cody can write well. She just doesn't consistently. That's what fuels her irrational haters to block out the bits of <i>Juno</i> that are well-written. <br /><br />The exchange (scratch that, monologue) that strikes me as most awkward has the title character quipping that she'd give Jennifer Garner her baby earlier, but it would look like a seamonkey. It's the strangest thing, because nobody in the movie prompted Juno to begin this routine. It's a mistake on Cody's part--for the record, she wrote a better script than Tony Gilroy's overpraised <i>Michael Clayton</i>--and the clip is even in the trailer. This moment of a writer's indulgence rejects the natural flow of the situation.<br /><br />I'd lend you $300, but I'm employed by <i>The Coast</i>. <br /><br />See.<br /><br />For all the Maryn Smiths out there, with bright futures ahead of them (perhaps writing films), here are some lines that should never be heard in a movie again.<br /><br />"I'm ____, by the way."<br /><br />This is how characters often introduce themselves in movies. I used this in <i>The Killing of Kings</i>, and then started noticing how prominent it was in everything else. It's a way to make the mandatory meet-and-greet exposition of two characters who the viewer is already aquainted with seem more casual. The "by the way" doesn't work. If you ever say this in life, it means you're narcissistic enough to consciously talk like you're in a movie script.<br /><br />"God has nothing to do with this."<br /><br />I was watching a season 1 episode of <i>Battlestar Galactica</i> last night, and this line came up. I've heard it in dozens of movies before, almost always following another character exclaiming, "Oh my God." When one writes, "God has nothing to do with this," it must look pretty badass on paper. When it's verbalized, it sounds like you're insincerely referencing a 1970s giant insect movie. The most hardcore line so far this year is in the otherwise uninspired <i>Rambo</i>. "Fuck the world!" It doesn't get more nihilistic than that.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKQ9wE_QdRIm9VW4ku2gFGTi7H7iQS8NEyyoOCwHWkGQHl8dmOTi2w2QJkf1ewOOvv7q85V17-rJEYRpowsCdGOFKqU0XVwTEoAAsV4Sd0rYIvAB-umdXYBFvUQgXDHsetDUUy-M94hz0/s1600-h/scotiasquare.gif"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKQ9wE_QdRIm9VW4ku2gFGTi7H7iQS8NEyyoOCwHWkGQHl8dmOTi2w2QJkf1ewOOvv7q85V17-rJEYRpowsCdGOFKqU0XVwTEoAAsV4Sd0rYIvAB-umdXYBFvUQgXDHsetDUUy-M94hz0/s320/scotiasquare.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5172264342836514338" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />"I'd like that."<br /><br />Please, no.<br /><br />"It's not what it looks like."<br /><br />I've heard that one before.<br /><br />Be careful not to try making every line of dialogue iconic, either. You'll end up writing <i>Jerry Maguire</i>.<br /><br />"Good to meet you." <br /><br />This one looks benign, just beware. Only ever write this in a Canadian film. Last time I was in LA, I kept shaking peoples' hands and saying "Good to meet you." They'd respond with, "Nice to meet you," and I was one-upped by their moral superiority.<br /><br />I'm interested in where people get their voices from. I'm not gonna be an asshole and try to take credit for inspiring anything. <br /><br />http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/2008/02/11/63-expensive-sandwiches/#comments <br /><br />But influences are revealed through the things one says.<br /><br />A couple of Fridays ago, I went to a matinee showing of <i>The Eye</i>, a rote American remake of a Hong Kong thriller. It stars Jessica Alba as one of those blind violin prodigies that are all the rage. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxy1xJrRWNo5tsD8Hr1PZDd_UpLUuJTzrdhnTyaJODd361RxoBiJrSSzSbVHxgLk3yOtD8ICWJrvvOLALat-vD0xQtuiMdhTbAq49M60RAuGkQLuAfSEbNbwWjp5RO7EcB5Ya8HCu25T0/s1600-h/photo_11.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxy1xJrRWNo5tsD8Hr1PZDd_UpLUuJTzrdhnTyaJODd361RxoBiJrSSzSbVHxgLk3yOtD8ICWJrvvOLALat-vD0xQtuiMdhTbAq49M60RAuGkQLuAfSEbNbwWjp5RO7EcB5Ya8HCu25T0/s320/photo_11.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5172264686433898034" /></a>The theatre had only about 25 people in it. Among them was an average-Shmoe middle aged dude, who sat by himself. I took note of this because while walking into the auditorium, I was whistling something and he shot me an incriminating look that suggested, "This guy's gonna be trouble." I felt bad for the guy anyway, because I had a scenario in my mind that he was going to a teen-skewing Jessica Alba flick alone to distract himself from a divorce. He sat on the aisle.<br /><br />The real teens in the theatre sat still and watched for about 45 minutes before announcing their boredom. Two of them raced from the back of the theatre to sit in empty seats in the front. Their friends, still at the back, laughed. <br /><br />Then, another one of them ran to the front of the theatre, making sure each step hit the ground as loud as possible.<br /><br />I looked over at the middle aged dude. He was making some movement like he was shadowboxing the air. <br /><br />The stompy kid immediately decides he liked his old seat better, and run-stomps back to it. This requires him to pass by the middle aged guy's aisle seat. As the sporty hooligan passes him, he stands up from his seat and bodychecks him. It did happen! The kid falls down.<br /><br />Now pay attention to the naturalism of the resulting dialogue exchange. This great situation brought out the best in everyone's inner-writer.<br /><br /><b>Stompy</b>: "Fuck! Someone bodychecked me."<br /><br />Right off the bat, you know they're inspired. That would make a great opening line to a screenplay. You can't use it. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc7RpkVhVipEbRv4AAB0grffcvPMFMfIiITv9kr7-9o8YBRKCCFPOFdRB_aD-qnsU3_TUdIcsL8J2NhCcE4duGF97Tgt3fITCiKt1poUWPK9xC1eoQuFl_yCFnQovGN5ruDOiRz3gViTc/s1600-h/JessicaAlba009.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc7RpkVhVipEbRv4AAB0grffcvPMFMfIiITv9kr7-9o8YBRKCCFPOFdRB_aD-qnsU3_TUdIcsL8J2NhCcE4duGF97Tgt3fITCiKt1poUWPK9xC1eoQuFl_yCFnQovGN5ruDOiRz3gViTc/s320/JessicaAlba009.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5172264884002393666" /></a><br /><br /><b>Middle-Aged Dude</b>: "I didn't see you."<br /><br /><b>Stompy's Friend</b>: "What's your fucking problem, man."<br /><br /><b>Stompy</b>: "I got knocked the fuck out."<br /><br /><b>Middle-Aged Dude</b>: "I was just going to the bathroom."<br /><br /><b>Stompy's Friend</b>: "Oh yeah. You totally bodychecked my friend."<br /><br /><b>Angry man at the back of the theatre</b>: "Shutup, you idiots! Shutup or leave!"<br /><br /><b>Middle-Aged Dude</b>: "Now, I told you I was just getting up to go to the bathroom. I didn't see him there."<br /><br /><b>Stompy</b>: "You decided to go the second I walked by."<br /><br /><b>Middle-Aged Dude</b>: "It's very dark. But now that you mention it, you guys have been running around like a bunch of... MANIACS. People are trying to enjoy this movie."<br /><br /><b>Stompy's Friend</b>: "Let's step outside."<br /><br /><b>Middle-Aged Dude</b>: "Yeah, we should go talk to the manager. Maybe we won't have to get 9-1-1 involved."<br /><br />They leave. Stompy limps out. I don't know if he was faking.<br /><br /><b>Stompy</b>: "THIS MOVIE SUCKS!"<br /><br /><b>Angry man at the back of the theatre</b>: "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!"<br /><br />This is a close approximation, to the best of my memory. I replayed it in my head many times so I wouldn't forget. The situation would have normally pissed me off, except it was by far the most exciting part of <i>The Eye</i>. <br /><br />The passion and fury of their exchange was tight, motivated, and exciting. <br /><br />When all else fails, throw in another photo of Jessica Alba.<br /><br />Writers take note. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf13DAw7ynP50v9j5-xYBVwzUgkDOmaMkzWgGyAIejggzOEqdf2pG2-JE-X6Ds3CPlDy3y00YFE_XNuTUWp93DDlToWzDQVdzk4UdtISYkYEfi8fhDTi_gkda3BFKSUekXlu8fvc2Fofc/s1600-h/photo_05.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf13DAw7ynP50v9j5-xYBVwzUgkDOmaMkzWgGyAIejggzOEqdf2pG2-JE-X6Ds3CPlDy3y00YFE_XNuTUWp93DDlToWzDQVdzk4UdtISYkYEfi8fhDTi_gkda3BFKSUekXlu8fvc2Fofc/s320/photo_05.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5172268586264202850" /></a>Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-20564532821523234662007-12-20T15:15:00.000-04:002007-12-25T15:25:48.357-04:002007(A portion of this entry was written for the upcoming issue of <i>The Coast</i>.)<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqdFxsl6Fnt7QLGBd5swE38D-xUfj8MqSeQteKcCemfvuT0h-NYNdohhyphenhyphenRpqgSfM12zhI2yZHeRRDTWBYLtKN3bFAwVgZKWQVyPiOJLlUlD6L42O9GLsjBDo-SwkeDPwiKqft00FswVcQ/s1600-h/beowulf.533.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqdFxsl6Fnt7QLGBd5swE38D-xUfj8MqSeQteKcCemfvuT0h-NYNdohhyphenhyphenRpqgSfM12zhI2yZHeRRDTWBYLtKN3bFAwVgZKWQVyPiOJLlUlD6L42O9GLsjBDo-SwkeDPwiKqft00FswVcQ/s320/beowulf.533.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5147277521526675794" /></a><br />2007 began and ended with audience disinterest. In April, the anticipated-on-the-Internet <i>Grindhouse</i> opened and quickly reminded everyone that people who spend their days online are not the real world. In November, <i>Beowulf</i> couldn't reach the audience an epic of its size depends on. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYhkbPTbKfq3Pe_GK__ezoWtXw5H-iT7RnzFwtff7wPOjqXSwmWb5G5HswkJxhzE3wDGaO4MnkSKzktZFsJMpTSHMM4eFgjM9lvOlS_SGRLI3xZKcQeRxH1tld-qbE_KDnxpoGw29TuWM/s1600-h/grindhouse.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYhkbPTbKfq3Pe_GK__ezoWtXw5H-iT7RnzFwtff7wPOjqXSwmWb5G5HswkJxhzE3wDGaO4MnkSKzktZFsJMpTSHMM4eFgjM9lvOlS_SGRLI3xZKcQeRxH1tld-qbE_KDnxpoGw29TuWM/s320/grindhouse.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5147277697620334946" /></a>The response to both these movies is made worse because, as flawed as they are, they absolutely had to be seen in the theatre. Since <i>Grindhouse</i>'s two halves were released as separate movies on DVD, the original continuity of the film is unavailable. <i>Beowulf</i> on IMAX 3-D is a movie-going experience more than it is a great movie. Though not among the year's best films, on the big screen, these were the most indispensible movie outings. <br /><br />Let’s take this opportunity to look at what 2007 stood for. It’s a fallacy to complain that movies are getting worse. It just seems that way because it’s mostly good movies that are remembered from past years. It's equally deluded, or else just a huge difference in standards, to think '07 delivered a lot to be excited about. That it was a weak movie year is evidenced in its place in the cycle where Hollywood gets deathly scared of taking risks and makes sure most of its tentpole releases are part 3s.<br /><br /> <b>THE THIRD IN A SERIES IS RARELY EXCITING</b><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-0MoqA6giKiK-_JitFnJZDIeRyBn6dUKrcNKv3kwlDV7dD3GnRVMWhkS-N2EZpUct3ltntAOhgndNBPLi3AYyUTuBx3BBUyA1Dtkl9uEIMl4PXZv_8MC5JsV-zjAwsDNwWfa9isLiJKg/s1600-h/000503676623.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-0MoqA6giKiK-_JitFnJZDIeRyBn6dUKrcNKv3kwlDV7dD3GnRVMWhkS-N2EZpUct3ltntAOhgndNBPLi3AYyUTuBx3BBUyA1Dtkl9uEIMl4PXZv_8MC5JsV-zjAwsDNwWfa9isLiJKg/s320/000503676623.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5147278088462358898" /></a><br /><i>Ocean’s Thirteen</i> was the best of its franchise. So was <i>Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End</i>. But neither film was especially good, as they arrived when both of those series were exhausted. <i>Shrek the Third</i>, <i>Rush Hour 3</i>, and <i>Spider-Man 3</i> were likewise hits that didn’t inspire much enthusiasm. The threequel summer was a drag reflecting a lack of creative inspiration. It was surprising that a filmmaker of Sam Raimi’s esteem didn’t even visually distinguish <i>Spidey 3</i> from part <i>2</i>. Soderbergh’s lower estimation <i>Ocean’s Thirteen</i> was the only third chapter to reimagine itself in visual terms. The one threequel that was embraced by critics was <i>The Bourne Ultimatum</i>, a good movie nearly destroyed by its visual style.<br /><br /> <b>BARF-CAM FOR DUMMIES</b><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUrVrxQ-BozDbLeUjGL_FGONZ6o7BrRoYTL-5UGJf4CfJBnyW-A1TI3lyPb8-klR3QSKgeVeOcheX3zj95IHgZdVEbYOv4ryZXqT-Hrl1NIwi29zg_FVOLAPrfUmZWeoRAQTpdXCK4Wqc/s1600-h/photo_14_hires.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUrVrxQ-BozDbLeUjGL_FGONZ6o7BrRoYTL-5UGJf4CfJBnyW-A1TI3lyPb8-klR3QSKgeVeOcheX3zj95IHgZdVEbYOv4ryZXqT-Hrl1NIwi29zg_FVOLAPrfUmZWeoRAQTpdXCK4Wqc/s320/photo_14_hires.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5147278354750331266" /></a><br /><i>The Bourne Ultimatum</i> may be celebrated as an adult thriller, but its attitude is patronizing. It’s part of an increasingly common approach in genre filmmaking where hand-held shakey cam is supposed to constitute realism. This is a problem for a number of reasons. For one, action movies like <i>The Bourne Ultimatum</i> by Paul Greengrass and <i>The Kingdom</i> by Peter Berg (who sells this same barf-cam “realism” on TV’s <i>Friday Night Lights</i>) assume their viewers are too cynical for the manipulation of classical filmmaking. So they make movies where no shot composition has to mean anything. It’s just spastic edits, random close-ups, whip pans, meaningless zoom-ins, and shaking. (The funniest audience comment of the year happened in <i>The Bourne Ultimatum</i>, when someone interjected during a fight scene, “I think that was a fist.”) I’m not sure how people began to equate barf-cam with realism anyway. The world simply isn’t that shaky. If you’re running, your head is moving with your sight line, so you can still tell what’s going on better than in most of <i>Bourne</i>, <i>The Kingdom</i>, <i>A Mighty Heart</i> and <i>28 Weeks Later</i>. It’s a gimmicky approach to realism of which 2007’s less remarked-upon achievements in realistic drama, like Ken Loach’s <i>The Wind That Shakes the Barley</i> and Preston Whitmore II’s <i>This Christmas</i>, don’t succumb. Finally, it’s just not that hard to hold a camera steady. <br /><br /> <b>THE HITS ARE ALRIGHT</b><br /> <br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFFhvucTJkBRxbj0fi1B2YcUJSS2EhGYbwNokM1vkpLoHQNurbvkLS5C-pUOkTu6ktw90IutxGVPx6RpZp1KtPNiwc7mBECQn01fqapV2lnYdzO7dv1SXH2ftUv8GP7GXWYux8hOEKUh8/s1600-h/photo_42_hires.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFFhvucTJkBRxbj0fi1B2YcUJSS2EhGYbwNokM1vkpLoHQNurbvkLS5C-pUOkTu6ktw90IutxGVPx6RpZp1KtPNiwc7mBECQn01fqapV2lnYdzO7dv1SXH2ftUv8GP7GXWYux8hOEKUh8/s320/photo_42_hires.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5147278586678565266" /></a>Apart from the respectable box office of <i>No Country for Old Men</i>, <i>Ratatouille</i> and <i>Hairspray</i> were the two instances where hugely popular movies ranked amongst the year’s best. As for the event-films, the best in a usually soulless enterprise were <i>Transformers</i>, Michael Bay’s sundrenched Americana about boys and their machines, and Francis Lawrence’s <i>I Am Legend</i>. Lawrence isn’t as distinguished, skilled, or (in some ways) as frustrating an artist as Bay, but his version of the Richard Matheson sci fi yarn makes up for its familiarity with actual emotion and social interest. The whole movie lives on the strength of Will Smith’s underestimated performance as the last man on Earth. As ideal and likable a movie star as he is, for all the bank it makes, the film may prove too slow and downbeat in the public’s estimation. Still, it’s exciting to see a blockbuster that at least has stretches of inspiration.<br /><br /> <b>WORST THROWAWAY</b><br /><br />Warner Bros. efforts to not let anyone see its best release all year, <i>The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford</i>, involved quickly yanking the movie from theatres after pleading ignorance about how to market a Brad Pitt film. <br /><br /> <b>WATCH THAT C-WORD</b><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3caMS3chtuHUvatHwqWJtL34NKKvVSB4skJLPEj7yuO58lLnQifugk2BTd94e1AHhswvu4uLnxUESmZgzxK7Vd4S69W79-qMpIrXeLT8FpT3i4VbjIx3GAQrTnJa75achzEW2N0cLlXI/s1600-h/photo_17_hires.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3caMS3chtuHUvatHwqWJtL34NKKvVSB4skJLPEj7yuO58lLnQifugk2BTd94e1AHhswvu4uLnxUESmZgzxK7Vd4S69W79-qMpIrXeLT8FpT3i4VbjIx3GAQrTnJa75achzEW2N0cLlXI/s320/photo_17_hires.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5147278844376603042" /></a><br />2007 might be the momentary end to torture-based horror films. Dwindling interest in this year’s titles <i>The Hills Have Eyes 2</i>, <i>Captivity</i>, <i>Hostel Part II</i> and <i>Saw IV</i> (most of which were no worse than years past) indicates that viewers were beginning to question their own taste in porn. Yet there was a weird connection between the horror genre and Oscar prestige. Both the horror movies <i>Hostel Part II</i> and <i>P2</i> (about a woman terrorized in a parking lot on Christmas Eve) as well as the Ian McEwan adaptation <i>Atonement</i> feature a violent dramatic shift around a female character reacting to a male using the word ****. Lesson learned from watching otherwise unrelated movies: Saying (or spelling) **** results in everything from military exile to castration. <br /><br /> <b>XENOPHOBIA REIGNS</b><br /><br />I often suggest that people watch movies that aren’t aimed at their demographic. The reasoning is that one of the basic values of movies is their ability to show how people are the same—the ways in which people whose lifestyles seem different than your own are in other ways a lot like you. This connection brings insights into humanity, and then to ourselves.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqL5W8iaYo3jyqp0ul70VgJNXhafhvVjAtbBOfFtic24duTPfQ8HdAg9zFmLu4D2ix_rt4ub8CtOUZfzJeZNcMa4YsXhU4Z6hyphenhyphen6ZDaQ6iDFRfSWF0WGBUYDzHjmUzeBwd8K-DuOWNccRI/s1600-h/photo_11_hires.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqL5W8iaYo3jyqp0ul70VgJNXhafhvVjAtbBOfFtic24duTPfQ8HdAg9zFmLu4D2ix_rt4ub8CtOUZfzJeZNcMa4YsXhU4Z6hyphenhyphen6ZDaQ6iDFRfSWF0WGBUYDzHjmUzeBwd8K-DuOWNccRI/s320/photo_11_hires.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5147279162204182962" /></a>But it’s an ideal that gets buried when studios assume viewers are ignorant and then sell them movies about themselves. The malebashing in <i>Waitress</i> only reaffirms stereotypes of Southern men as abusive and uneducated. It’s an annoying but familiar prejudice that’s somewhat forgiven by the film’s goodwill toward female uplift. The light comedy in <i>Waitress</i> has distinct attitude. As a movie, it’s good TV. That’s far preferable to <i>Shoot ‘Em Up</i>, the most blatantly misogynistic movie this year. The 15-years-out-of-date action spoof has Paul Giamatti fondling a female corpse, not just to establish him as a villain but because somebody on board thought it was cool. You can almost picture a bitter movie exec doing lines of coke while watching it.<br /><br /> <i>Superbad</i> actually got adults to see a movie about teenagers, which is an amazing feat. I say this because teens are the one group that most people think it’s dignified to complain about, as though they themselves were never 17, and as though adolescents don’t have a more powerful foothold in cultural trends than they do. I think about it everytime I hear people in their late 20s bash emo kids. But because Judd Apatow and Seth Rogan want to believe there are no Hispanic or Black people in Southern California, and that the hottest girls in school will inevitably fall for the dorkiest guys simply because the guys want it, <i>Superbad</i>’s achievements aren’t worth too much. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl4cVBQprPDLoFvSlVrAlgSJgko3DEhvbfq1Gh9Xay-szZMh94Lddsh3q1Q_anJ03iEaN42r_7vnnvFMKs9l3fhFA_OexOw8foIMiC_50oWAt9pnKRDbsyZMzgsiIX99XuE6Bwu5t8oiQ/s1600-h/Juno%2520VIP%2520Reception%2520Invite.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl4cVBQprPDLoFvSlVrAlgSJgko3DEhvbfq1Gh9Xay-szZMh94Lddsh3q1Q_anJ03iEaN42r_7vnnvFMKs9l3fhFA_OexOw8foIMiC_50oWAt9pnKRDbsyZMzgsiIX99XuE6Bwu5t8oiQ/s320/Juno%2520VIP%2520Reception%2520Invite.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5147280905960905186" /></a><i>Juno</i>, another comedy about teenagers I'm mostly positive on, is guilty of some of the same casual racism. I don't know how a movie this universally white can justify that its most despised characters are the supporting parts of the East Asian pro-life high school girl, and the nurse who gets told off by Juno's mom. Then again, people are so used to it, I'm sure not many will notice. <br /><br />If you’re a 40 year-old white male who likes Velvet Revolver, you should go to a crowded Friday night showing of <i>This Christmas</i>. If your whole idea of action-adventure is <i>Heroes</i> and <i>Live Free or Die Hard</i>, rent Werner Herzog’s <i>Rescue Dawn</i>. If you like bashing Tyler Perry or Amanda Bynes, try watching one of their movies first (neither <i>Daddy’s Little Girls</i> or <i>Sydney White</i> is completely without interest.) <br /><br /> 28 year-old Sarah Polley directing <i>Away From Her</i>, a movie about senior citizens, means she’s probably rather strange. But she’s reaching beyond herself. <br /><br /> <b>MUSICALS WERE BETTER THIS YEAR</b><br /><br />This connective value of movies had been lost in recent bloated movie musicals. The award-winning <i>Chicago</i> celebrated petty narcissism, <i>Rent</i> faked edginess, and <i>Dreamgirls</i> fumbled music history. <br /><br /> In 07, they got their mojo back. <i>Hairspray</i> adapted the stage musical of John Waters’ cult film without many theatrical bearings. Adam Shankman’s version moves like a movie, carrying its tunes through levels of nostalgic comedy, teen empowerment and social drama. <br /><br />The stripped down DV look of <i>Once</i> complimented its realist folk music love story. If only its director John Carney had studied the cutting rhythms and visual expression of real music videos beforehand (and not just conservative indie rock ones) its quaint approach would have left a deeper impression.<br /> <br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgItuqAUsTJQSBr2y-8-g5IEgcObRCukba4Rfc_MICvp5Qm0n-LRl2gdvVjapMrSj44DX63laQFMULyYQsRmINZWl3lR1zL2lIvhprJV7xlIdR4QPMH4zcImUhSHWUkNZhqlaEqRterOwI/s1600-h/photo_10_hires.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgItuqAUsTJQSBr2y-8-g5IEgcObRCukba4Rfc_MICvp5Qm0n-LRl2gdvVjapMrSj44DX63laQFMULyYQsRmINZWl3lR1zL2lIvhprJV7xlIdR4QPMH4zcImUhSHWUkNZhqlaEqRterOwI/s320/photo_10_hires.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5147279699075094994" /></a>This lack of music video directing experience conversely helps Julie Taymor’s <i>Across the Universe</i>—she’s such a gifted visual filmmaker, she lets the numbers speak their own language. As everyone loves to say, <i>Across the Universe</i> is a mess. But that doesn’t invalidate the rush of its best moments. Even small touches, like the vocal quality of T.V. Carpio’s rendition of“I Want to Hold Your Hand” were movie-year standouts. <br /><br /> Most bigtime filmmakers don’t have a good ear for pop music. That’s why “Kung-Fu Fighting” shows up in so many action sequences. And it’s partially why new movies by Wes Anderson and The Farrelly Brothers are to be valued, even in a year when they only give us <i>The Darjeeling Limited</i> and <i>The Heartbreak Kid</i>.<br /> <br /> Tim Burton’s <i>Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street</i> and Anton Corbijn's <i>Control</i> also notably stretched the resurgent musical format. <br /><br /> <b>2007 HAD NO ABSOLUTE MASTERPIECE</b><br /><br />Not yet. But 2 films came close.<br /><br /> <b>5 STUPIDEST MOVIES THAT ACT SMART</b><br /><br />1) Into the Wild<br />2) A Mighty Heart<br />3) Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead<br />4) The Mist<br />5) Smokin’ Aces<br /><br /> <b>5 SMARTEST MOVIES THAT ACT STUPID</b><br /><br />1) Hot Rod<br />2) Stuck<br />3) Bug<br />4) Captivity<br />5) Freedom Writers<br /><br /> <b>5 STUPIDEST MOVIES THAT ACT ACCORDINGLY</b><br /><br />1) Epic Movie<br />2) Dead Silence<br />3) Bratz: The Movie<br />4) License to Wed<br />5) Balls of Fury<br /><br />*********<br /><br />Now here's every 2007 movie I saw in 2007, ranked. The list will be updated until at least January 1. Everything given a B- or higher, I overall liked. Films that are considered 2006 North American releases that were made unavailable in my market until 07 (such as <i>Little Children</i> and <i>The Curse of the Golden Flower</i>) are not ranked. Otherwise, <i>Idiocracy</i> and <i>Perfume: The Story of a Murderer</i> would have made my top 10. <br /><br /><b>A RATINGS</b><br /><br />1) <i>The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford</i> (Andrew Dominik)<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG7157eAy5vnZ0RG-jEajBGKX2Q9QyMRfovTyTyEGtXiy_IhDy0pfBJVQ0E62VG18NxJZhSUq8m6ZQCvJubHAPsUn9z4b1yT5mmpSV2QXehUHIqPnvHBYyu4jsCIC8D_AeBCLe8bZY4YQ/s1600-h/photo_22_hires.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG7157eAy5vnZ0RG-jEajBGKX2Q9QyMRfovTyTyEGtXiy_IhDy0pfBJVQ0E62VG18NxJZhSUq8m6ZQCvJubHAPsUn9z4b1yT5mmpSV2QXehUHIqPnvHBYyu4jsCIC8D_AeBCLe8bZY4YQ/s320/photo_22_hires.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5146143800484387010" /></a><br /><br />2) <i>No Country for Old Men</i> (Ethan Coen & Joel Coen) <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4ylNW29Un5zaSIvS2Q_i6Pf8ZzeAyeTKCqZsNqAW2NuqNEj-FwJhhKqwTpcOEfgH4RWwgPtOArsofadDN3H-Ywq70T7-caZgmAtErHSHxxqULmoten3JveevK4r1fBReOUUj4koHdtTM/s1600-h/photo_06_hires.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4ylNW29Un5zaSIvS2Q_i6Pf8ZzeAyeTKCqZsNqAW2NuqNEj-FwJhhKqwTpcOEfgH4RWwgPtOArsofadDN3H-Ywq70T7-caZgmAtErHSHxxqULmoten3JveevK4r1fBReOUUj4koHdtTM/s320/photo_06_hires.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5146142529174067378" /></a><br /><br /><br /><b>A- RATINGS</b><br /><br />3) <i>Black Book</i> (Paul Verhoeven) <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij0qsKNFvKO7Wpq5siCqc1k8GCYzwVzvKWFzDFM0V8bMwZnUYm8uWH6rQRQTLJJkrqiCWRX4F4v3rIFrls9HlkTA5mtSAfs0DG45IH0JhZwU1KyXMgXYZIKqbQweDVX2aN30ScWs5Epas/s1600-h/photo_12_hires.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij0qsKNFvKO7Wpq5siCqc1k8GCYzwVzvKWFzDFM0V8bMwZnUYm8uWH6rQRQTLJJkrqiCWRX4F4v3rIFrls9HlkTA5mtSAfs0DG45IH0JhZwU1KyXMgXYZIKqbQweDVX2aN30ScWs5Epas/s320/photo_12_hires.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5146146600803064034" /></a><br /><br />4) <i>Stuck</i> (Stuart Gordon)<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfqyMZVCEaNSj9BHPPTPtwwHysiLyctcAoG-hovtPc-oV9Qa-moBYUwyGWpozKBmBybfLgkWkPkrlUVUWwks6V0woifOKXsoC5GYLnV9cLvJ2yuKBk41it6oTvrM_OUlOdPP4q7Nv-mVw/s1600-h/20070911_stuck.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfqyMZVCEaNSj9BHPPTPtwwHysiLyctcAoG-hovtPc-oV9Qa-moBYUwyGWpozKBmBybfLgkWkPkrlUVUWwks6V0woifOKXsoC5GYLnV9cLvJ2yuKBk41it6oTvrM_OUlOdPP4q7Nv-mVw/s320/20070911_stuck.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5146147515631098098" /></a><br /><br />5) <i>Hairspray</i> (Adam Shankman) <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDrCWNCXzbiFhMOUjz3Gcvy-h4aNbkVBqJ23DlVtDwGwzd5kVRM31mQbBkvhnqINyinmV0P2Ws1_I9LY4osz-N2V-8sOnzf3eQG-wbiwfXA1Z8xprSBq6BmTZ6if0ywas4J_TnP-3HJLM/s1600-h/photo_39_hires.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDrCWNCXzbiFhMOUjz3Gcvy-h4aNbkVBqJ23DlVtDwGwzd5kVRM31mQbBkvhnqINyinmV0P2Ws1_I9LY4osz-N2V-8sOnzf3eQG-wbiwfXA1Z8xprSBq6BmTZ6if0ywas4J_TnP-3HJLM/s320/photo_39_hires.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5146148237185603842" /></a><br /><br /><b>B+ RATINGS</b><br /><br />6) <i>Rescue Dawn</i> (Werner Herzog) <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnNHHR6CIR6dXFBHeQuHV45EMR9WZzjigFCAxDYQEvhxKRHBsZuyAdTGv6aHVuoUN7ZbB6slCh404OnIKW7sEMxvZTYkJYLXcnLAbx_dvoTqHTh2cR9XtfkBvRA4-SPlJnMEoQNc13TKI/s1600-h/photo_04_hires.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnNHHR6CIR6dXFBHeQuHV45EMR9WZzjigFCAxDYQEvhxKRHBsZuyAdTGv6aHVuoUN7ZbB6slCh404OnIKW7sEMxvZTYkJYLXcnLAbx_dvoTqHTh2cR9XtfkBvRA4-SPlJnMEoQNc13TKI/s320/photo_04_hires.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5146152162785712450" /></a><br /><br />7) <i>Ratatouille</i> (Brad Bird)<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpjeT5HS_cGaTFh_ekLO51NYZyXm_iiunY7WinK04S5RSm46VyvtQZ48TPf2HMJ-tJFNAbSkIS31lz4HNhNNMm9OUEvSWc966_lnhPGVbBeBV7euBVVu2L1oE8KGkpg6Q3fgN5XcgeJo0/s1600-h/photo_10_hires.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpjeT5HS_cGaTFh_ekLO51NYZyXm_iiunY7WinK04S5RSm46VyvtQZ48TPf2HMJ-tJFNAbSkIS31lz4HNhNNMm9OUEvSWc966_lnhPGVbBeBV7euBVVu2L1oE8KGkpg6Q3fgN5XcgeJo0/s320/photo_10_hires.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5146144792621832402" /></a><br /><br />8) <i>Hot Rod</i> (Akiva Schaffer) <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwSdWfUsZy9yL7Qm5QiVDN1omgkFxKzVD38gnp2wKB6HfuTXWSoIUxinppMw5H_eDzKK8aD-bctvwMv9BLGKtEz9CW2tVZmlZNCZcj5ohjCeIvPCFSOupeC8HEw64mATxU3IMm6kC0zVo/s1600-h/photo_23_hires.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwSdWfUsZy9yL7Qm5QiVDN1omgkFxKzVD38gnp2wKB6HfuTXWSoIUxinppMw5H_eDzKK8aD-bctvwMv9BLGKtEz9CW2tVZmlZNCZcj5ohjCeIvPCFSOupeC8HEw64mATxU3IMm6kC0zVo/s320/photo_23_hires.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5146150754036439330" /></a><br /><br />9) <i>Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street</i> (Tim Burton)<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2c_iT4kugLGDO_vZJsds4uDb5tvPCLwhYeSP1cykyWlQ8xI_9P6Qighz1jub8VzuIRf0BjVOro0mbq-k-XFe_hNbGrR52bHHHxoo1LXo0HtjP9q8w50dwXzXSuN25TrH27-YbKhGJ3bA/s1600-h/photo_31_hires.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2c_iT4kugLGDO_vZJsds4uDb5tvPCLwhYeSP1cykyWlQ8xI_9P6Qighz1jub8VzuIRf0BjVOro0mbq-k-XFe_hNbGrR52bHHHxoo1LXo0HtjP9q8w50dwXzXSuN25TrH27-YbKhGJ3bA/s320/photo_31_hires.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5146149637344942354" /></a><br /><br />10) <i>Control</i> (Anton Corbijn) <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg77IdAzkaxsnjwTm4PF7h9-ACM7zoKs8Y6WWTAkkTUzcfT41nTQstgXDcZCI43l5fLYAGzSc1KjDH30UyOhWiPxMKmlw7HMsJptgYtGCFu6yQSkrOIFjDkQZRrUj1duU1rr3yOwym3-s/s1600-h/photo_03_hires.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg77IdAzkaxsnjwTm4PF7h9-ACM7zoKs8Y6WWTAkkTUzcfT41nTQstgXDcZCI43l5fLYAGzSc1KjDH30UyOhWiPxMKmlw7HMsJptgYtGCFu6yQSkrOIFjDkQZRrUj1duU1rr3yOwym3-s/s320/photo_03_hires.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5146151299497285938" /></a><br /><br />11) Paris, I Love You <br />12) The Lives of Others <br />13) Redacted <br />14) Beowulf <br />15) Grindhouse (Planet Terror C+; Death Proof B-; Full experience B+)<br /><br /><b>B RATINGS</b><br /><br />16) The Orphanage<br />17) Hot Fuzz <br />18) Transformers <br />19) Across the Universe <br />20) Reign Over Me <br />21) Bridge to Terabithia <br />22) Bug <br />23) The Wind That Shakes the Barley <br />24) Freedom Writers <br />25) The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters<br />26) Lucky You<br />27) I Am Legend <br />28) TMNT <br />29) The Tracey Fragments <br />30) This Christmas <br />31) 28 Weeks Later<br />32) The Simpsons Movie<br />33) The Lookout <br />34) Dan in Real Life <br />35) Knocked Up <br />36) Scott Walker: 30 Century Man<br /><br /><b>B- RATINGS</b><br /><br />37) The Darjeeling Limited <br />38) Zodiac <br />39) Amazing Grace <br />40) The Bourne Ultimatum<br />41) Juno <br />42) Tyler Perry’s Daddy’s Little Girls <br />43) Alpha Dog <br />44) Paprika <br />45) Waitress <br />46) Halloween <br />47) Vacancy <br />48) Awake<br />49) Atonement <br />50) Captivity<br />51) The Nanny Diaries<br />52) Disturbia <br />53) Superbad<br />54) Enchanted <br />55) Live Free or Die Hard<br />56) Elizabeth: The Golden Age<br />57) Norbit<br />58) Zoo <br />59) Talk to Me <br />60) Ocean’s Thirteen <br />61) Black Snake Moan <br /><br /><b>C+ RATINGS</b><br /><br />62) 1408 <br />63) The Host<br />64) Michael Clayton <br />65) You Kill Me <br />66) Sunshine <br />67) American Gangster <br />68) Eastern Promises <br />69) Fido<br />70) Bee Movie <br />71) Once <br />72) Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End <br />73) Shrek the Third <br />74) Sydney White <br />75) The Heartbreak Kid <br />76) 3:10 to Yuma <br />77) Murder Party <br />78) Nightwatching <br />79) Arthur and the Invisibles <br />80) Meet the Robinsons <br />81) I Think I Love My Wife <br />82) Reno 911!: Miami <br />83) The Astronaut Farmer <br />84) The Messengers <br />85) Ghost Rider <br />86) Resurrecting the Champ <br />87) The Invisible <br />88) Mr. Bean’s Holiday <br /><br /><b>C RATINGS</b><br /><br />89) Weirdsville<br />90) 300<br />91) In the Land of Women <br />92) Spider-Man 3 <br />93) Are We Done Yet? <br />94) Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story<br />95) The Golden Compass <br />96) Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix <br />97) The Reaping <br />98) Evening <br />99) Stomp the Yard <br />100) Shooter <br />101) Wild Hogs <br />102) Music & Lyrics<br />103) Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer<br />104) I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry<br />105) Fred Claus <br />106) Year of the Dog <br />107) Hunting and Gathering<br />108) The Stone Angel <br />109) The Hoax <br />110) Next <br />111) Gracie <br />112) The Brave One <br />113) Alvin and the Chipmunks<br />114) P2 <br />115) Who Loves the Sun <br />116) Lions for Lambs <br />117) Balls of Fury <br />118) Rise: Blood Hunter <br /><br /><b>C- RATINGS</b><br /><br />119) Sicko <br />120) Perfect Stranger <br />121) War <br />122) Severance<br />123) Hostel Part II <br />124) Blood and Chocolate <br />125) Catch and Release <br />126) Primeval <br />127) Dead Silence <br />128) A Mighty Heart <br />129) Fracture <br />130) 30 Days of Night <br />131) Lady Chatterley <br /><br /><b>D+ RATINGS</b><br /><br />132) Mr. Brooks <br />133) Nancy Drew <br />134) Blades of Glory <br />135) National Treasure: Book of Secrets<br />136) The Hitcher <br />137) The Hills Have Eyes 2 <br />138) The Last Mimzy <br />139) The Number 23 <br /><br /><b>D RATINGS</b><br /><br />140) Smokin’ Aces <br />141) Bratz <br />142) Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead <br />143) The Mist <br />144) License to Wed <br />145) Shoot ‘Em Up <br />146) The Kingdom <br />147) Into the Wild <br /><br /><b>D- RATINGS</b><br /><br />148) Good Luck Chuck <br />149) Southland Tales <br /><br /><b>F RATINGS</b><br /><br />150) Because I Said So <br />151) Hannibal Rising <br />152) Happily N’Ever After <br />153) Saw IV <br />154) Epic MovieMark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-49085768324334103472007-10-21T05:48:00.000-03:002007-10-23T18:55:04.984-03:00Lessons of Stupid<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyhiQFDlCfyT4arYWMr48haBLM2sMop8OP8vkYWF-BlBsLnFQjzPKbvYkk0vILxozuUyvLRIfoEHPB8N9BOGrhIYAzJ-e9sk7YJKPvhhnPEVqb-7nUMmcW2m27taFjgi7tXrWiwzvB4Po/s1600-h/free+topless.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyhiQFDlCfyT4arYWMr48haBLM2sMop8OP8vkYWF-BlBsLnFQjzPKbvYkk0vILxozuUyvLRIfoEHPB8N9BOGrhIYAzJ-e9sk7YJKPvhhnPEVqb-7nUMmcW2m27taFjgi7tXrWiwzvB4Po/s320/free+topless.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5124643758293271954" /></a>Last week I was in Vegas, because my friends were going and I'm trying to uphold my rep as the Nicest Guy in Hollywood. In my 2 day stay, I discovered that Las Vegas is at once America at its finest (and by finest I mean lowest), and kinda cool provided you can ease yourself into a level of stupidity that lets you get off on its extravagance. <br /><br />Since I have high empathy levels, and can usually engage in non-condescending discourse with people far dumber than me, this wasn't really a problem.<br /><br />Joseph and I are in the hotel elevator when a drunk guy strikes a conversation. (Take note: He was holding a glass of whiskey. I wouldn't typically accuse someone of being drunk just for lacking social inhibitions.)<br /><br />"Software guys, huh?"<br /><br />"Pardon?"<br /><br />"You're software guys, right? I can tell."<br /><br />"Yeah, Microsoft," Joseph lies.<br /><br />"See, I knew. You guys dress however the hell you want."<br /><br />I'm wearing a Disneyland t-shirt and Joseph is wearing a Star Wars tee and shorts. Admittedly, this is not proper fancy hotel attire in a city where everyone is trying to prove they're high stakes players. But it takes a level of stupidity to openly negatively stereotype someone based on their wardrobe.<br /><br />Today's topic of discussion: The Stupid. <br /><br />They may be the most unfairly, routinely, and without the aid of rights-activitists, universally bashed legal group in the world that isn't founded on sociopathy. For some reason, it's considered alright to bash midgets in movies too. But midgets have some activists on their side. Nobody likes The Stupid. It's politically correct to hate them. Even stupid people hate other stupid people. <br /><br />Let's start by distinguishing 3 prominent groups of stupid people. (For the sake of brevity, I'm leaving out purely hateful idiots: Terrorists, racists, etc.) <br /><br /><b>1) Those who know better but choose to be stupid anyway.</b> <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNz2jLdHQ35SRBi3cS6KZ1s8WYZLtQ32F9z4rAouPJMhkAf5PL5eUaCZig6O8OhMwDY8wCBDlWxsQ30DnPbdyu49kcY2UIzrw9RHX95ObdX_slgvnPq9PUrrC063BIS0jyxU11LKQ1fT4/s1600-h/saw.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNz2jLdHQ35SRBi3cS6KZ1s8WYZLtQ32F9z4rAouPJMhkAf5PL5eUaCZig6O8OhMwDY8wCBDlWxsQ30DnPbdyu49kcY2UIzrw9RHX95ObdX_slgvnPq9PUrrC063BIS0jyxU11LKQ1fT4/s320/saw.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5124641649464329538" /></a>These are the people of whom it's most OK to disapprove. They're the university kids who go out on city streets at night and think they're being clever by yelling "Drugs!" really loudly. They think it's cooler to not care about anything, and write letters to the paper complaining that my reviews aren't dumb enough. They're the people who have been alive for 80 years, and still haven't found the time to learn what side of the street they're allowed to walk on. Fuck these people.<br /><br />The second group isn't much better. <br /><br /><b>2) The stupid people who try to sound smart in really insincere ways.</b> <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyMVUyBy1Vp67vesnI7ICfqo2BR7dunebLKJYwBoL3wgLJUwKL3AzI7AItYppdYwugf780Qdmq8dmxbwImfN6FeIXyB3XPbaImIzMNIk4kyj2MwThdhxFc_sTTzS7RuJDViZtSofRl6jU/s1600-h/hours.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyMVUyBy1Vp67vesnI7ICfqo2BR7dunebLKJYwBoL3wgLJUwKL3AzI7AItYppdYwugf780Qdmq8dmxbwImfN6FeIXyB3XPbaImIzMNIk4kyj2MwThdhxFc_sTTzS7RuJDViZtSofRl6jU/s320/hours.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5124640756111131938" /></a>In some ways, this group ranks among the most horrible people on Earth. We call em pseudo-intellectuals ("pseuds" for short.) You can identify one right away if he or she claims to have no regrets. No sane person has "no regrets," and the majority of people who say they don't just talk without thinking. Anybody over the age of 3 who sincerely doesn't regret anything either has no life experience or is a narcissistic asshole. The people in this group also talk about movies like they're quoting things they read out of a magazine. They give their opinions loudly in public places so everyone can think they don't kowtow to the party line if they adore Wes Anderson and hate Spielberg. They love the idea of "indie", but secretly despise truly independent thought. They use backwards sentence endings like, "Explosions and nudity does not a good movie make." And they throw around the always unnecessary pseud-phrase "the fact that" verbally and in writing. <br /><br />(If you want to work at hiding your pseud-status, I'd also recommended always saying "I feel" in place of "I think." "I think" indicates uncertainty; the way you feel can't be wrong. I'm just helping out my fellow man.)<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhQFeUUsEVw3p1BchAbEnW_zZr5tac5Sp_LkhkfGdAycLaHcFLFUv3rUydblkFdYYpkhqddhWbGG1Csi5VrqtwV_mr5IdIQueyNk_lyEj6FmatHPa7CRg_qARaY4B8VVgI3fAcZ3wf3zM/s1600-h/chucky.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhQFeUUsEVw3p1BchAbEnW_zZr5tac5Sp_LkhkfGdAycLaHcFLFUv3rUydblkFdYYpkhqddhWbGG1Csi5VrqtwV_mr5IdIQueyNk_lyEj6FmatHPa7CRg_qARaY4B8VVgI3fAcZ3wf3zM/s320/chucky.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5124641099708515634" /></a>I remember when I was 19, standing in a short line with 2 friends to take in <i>Bride of Chucky</i> on a weeknight. This line was parallel to a much longer line. In the longer line, a guy was trying to impress his girl by snickering at our line's apparent poor taste in entertainment. What was that other lineup lined up for? <i>Practical Magic</i>! The movie about Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman as sister witches with dating problems. At least going to see <i>Bride of Chucky</i> is an honest stupid way to spend 2 hours. <br /><br />The third group is the most innocent. <br /><br /><b>3) People simply of below average intelligence.</b> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha2MSfHfFaiXmb0lQFZ8r0Wcz5j-T0k5rax7WFDTrfoHdYMCdifG8l1-kjGywW1S8sIALYoR34fFl-40B_oQv9wMR50Zri_SCdSmaun__bS1n75ogEQbY_BW3hlsBuxYhyphenhyphen8ow_-ix-_R0/s1600-h/epicmovie_poster2big.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha2MSfHfFaiXmb0lQFZ8r0Wcz5j-T0k5rax7WFDTrfoHdYMCdifG8l1-kjGywW1S8sIALYoR34fFl-40B_oQv9wMR50Zri_SCdSmaun__bS1n75ogEQbY_BW3hlsBuxYhyphenhyphen8ow_-ix-_R0/s320/epicmovie_poster2big.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5124642023126484306" /></a><br /><br />They don't want to be stupid any more than the blind want to be blind. But people hate them for it, as though they can magically start being smart. It's like when clinically depressed people are told to just snap out of it. Or like asking a wheelchair-bound person if they've ever tried walking. No. They can't do that. With those groups, we realize such attitudes are wrong. The Stupid, on the other hand, are treated as a blight on our well-being.<br /><br />Let me add to this that I truly believe that most people are smart in their own way. There are people you think are dumb that are better in some situations than you are. On the other end of things, people who are basically smart are stupid about certain things. For instance, just because you major in biology doesn't mean you know how to get a date. And just because you can crush a beer can on your head doesn't mean you can program a computer.<br /><br />But people who are thought of as stupid are usually stupid frequently and in pronounced ways. And it's not curable by just accumulating more knowledge. They're dopey like some people are clumsy. It's a poor sign of one's character to hate them for it. There are other qualities as valuable as intelligence.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeaToWxgIoZYv_YZ3TMW8enjTpPxnUxpDsIKPo0cVDJQzHLi9meuor6ZXpNdNhY7G-iOeyLF54e1gsNVGbkEgu0ZuNbHkK1GlGZtUbplTmxhxtQgUofbOV33xBm7DVbBSWBM6biJ2z_yk/s1600-h/barack.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeaToWxgIoZYv_YZ3TMW8enjTpPxnUxpDsIKPo0cVDJQzHLi9meuor6ZXpNdNhY7G-iOeyLF54e1gsNVGbkEgu0ZuNbHkK1GlGZtUbplTmxhxtQgUofbOV33xBm7DVbBSWBM6biJ2z_yk/s320/barack.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5124642310889293154" /></a>The irony here is that society is designed for The Stupid. You don't have to look around much to see this is true. Just turn on the news and listen to commentators theorize that Barack Obama has no chance of being President because some people consider him too smart. Being too smart is an issue?! If you're smart you get what they're skating around: Obama has no chance because some people consider him too black. The media doesn't need to be truthful, because it has already assumed you're an idiot. <br /><br />This is an example of why the smart fear the social influence of The Stupid. And as Yoda taught us, fear turns to hate.<br /><br />But can't we just accept that some stupid people are not malicious and just lack the brain-function of the rest of us? So long as they're not ruling a country, just put up with it. Our basic humanity accepts that the ugly are valuable, so why not The Stupid? My dog isn't evil because he isn't as smart as me. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRsM8JLMqoxAZ6aptyIuhwLNblv-oAuin5kdBfMsHhGYtg3eFUSwvQ0-sM1HK_FNtyQxwq43QK_tQ2DejJe65SYUEKUG0V6htop4YKFAW9s_o_yZSxtBqapbh9ZfiE5ciRlvxWEkcT9Fk/s1600-h/beavis2a.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRsM8JLMqoxAZ6aptyIuhwLNblv-oAuin5kdBfMsHhGYtg3eFUSwvQ0-sM1HK_FNtyQxwq43QK_tQ2DejJe65SYUEKUG0V6htop4YKFAW9s_o_yZSxtBqapbh9ZfiE5ciRlvxWEkcT9Fk/s320/beavis2a.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5124642555702429042" /></a><br />Perhaps my altruism comes from feeling a kinship with many stupid things. I know some episodes of <i>Beavis and Butt-head</i> line-by-line. I enjoy twisted stoner movies, humour, and cartoons in a sober state. Within limits, I enjoy hanging out with drunk friends. At the same time, I hate elitist elegance, and anything stupid that's trying to appear smart. <br /><br />I have, however, always had some problem with <i>Jackass</i> that I couldn't pinpoint at first. Now I know. It was a show designed to kill The Stupid. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxEuocDKg-jAYMGa5bDu9d28huP9QsaQfPZuBX89uioVhZQcgZ1hd3-HEa3Dc6u9_K3JGTHwP5fCQP31_6hWGdPhqjjO1T32TnfUHytUIa3EFNUH5E2AR0hXeCFulGBX6IHryzdfrLRv0/s1600-h/britney_spears1_300_400.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxEuocDKg-jAYMGa5bDu9d28huP9QsaQfPZuBX89uioVhZQcgZ1hd3-HEa3Dc6u9_K3JGTHwP5fCQP31_6hWGdPhqjjO1T32TnfUHytUIa3EFNUH5E2AR0hXeCFulGBX6IHryzdfrLRv0/s320/britney_spears1_300_400.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5124642744680990082" /></a>Copycat <i>Jackass</i> stunts have resulted in death and injury to many stupid people. This is usually defended by people saying it's a way of cleansing the gene pool, or it's evolution in progress. The old to-the-point standby in dismissing an accidental death is, "Well, that person was stupid for doing that anyway." The problem is there is no level of stupid that's too stupid for <i>Jackass</i>. The Stupid is an ideal audience for that show. It preys on them. So of course idiots will watch it and die. Just because you're stupid doesn't mean you don't deserve to live.<br /><br />The supposedly educated public (ie. the ones whose prefered topics of discussion are the things they read on Perez Hilton that day) secretly enjoys it when unstable celebrities die. They take it as a win for intelligence whenever this happens. This smug elite killed Anna Nicole Smith. They created a demand for a reality show about how stupid she is, which made her lose any shred of her self-esteem, leading to an increased negative media spotlight, and then to her suicide. Score.<br /><br />But sometimes the world surprises you...<br /><br />To Be Continued in LESSONS OF STUPID: PART II - MARK PALERMO GOES TO A MORRISSEY CONCERT AND OBSERVES DIFFERENT THINGS.Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-51669821931361218112007-10-09T04:33:00.000-03:002007-10-09T18:06:37.532-03:00Joseph Kahn Hates Sandwiches<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBLUytBovp49Vt4pVPUDhIi_gB_lk6JKtc8Y0ILHh7qXIUKiHl77qghhPAXh__NBKxMw2SJDKR9dYOa1vEDTYFwVv0w4GacU-IRCwkEK8CfuqWlOcP-ykVdyGJXsGhq9Kjc9S4NOP6_Kc/s1600-h/clarkson.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBLUytBovp49Vt4pVPUDhIi_gB_lk6JKtc8Y0ILHh7qXIUKiHl77qghhPAXh__NBKxMw2SJDKR9dYOa1vEDTYFwVv0w4GacU-IRCwkEK8CfuqWlOcP-ykVdyGJXsGhq9Kjc9S4NOP6_Kc/s320/clarkson.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5119239130361775090" /></a><br />Seriously! What kind of shit is that?<br /><br />A sandwich is a compact, portable food that can encompass all 4 food groups within one convenient food item. It can employ limitless taste combinations and sensations with the fresh ingredients of one's choosing. Plus, sandwiches are historical. Did you know that <i>Leprechaun</i> was the first R-rated film to have tie-ins at a fast food joint? That fast food joint was called Subway. The invention of the Internet directly followed.<br /><br />I'll tell you what this is really about. Despite everything I just said, Joseph thinks sandwiches lack flavour and are white people food. <br /><br />To illustrate, here are some pictures of white people eating food. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYOfaJWATOqbFP2cG3h2PmUb4FEd2JyY1o8pa4IGbycVCYkSDP3C4tW8H6ukvhO1G0qVmNoV_VPdPaKVotmkch13wFHk3BbMXkm0f7zLo0QZHYTee5xrRgMrZfnTZPkr3TeqGL7deIKwY/s1600-h/070503_eating_vlrg_930a.widec.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYOfaJWATOqbFP2cG3h2PmUb4FEd2JyY1o8pa4IGbycVCYkSDP3C4tW8H6ukvhO1G0qVmNoV_VPdPaKVotmkch13wFHk3BbMXkm0f7zLo0QZHYTee5xrRgMrZfnTZPkr3TeqGL7deIKwY/s320/070503_eating_vlrg_930a.widec.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5119240092434449410" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrSiTBF926rNdUAln9arAvlilDymiLEMcwC53iO8PDtc_RoOQigvvCs5ULWLdlM0xTHesDGgjby6RaX5IXQuDw2DApVe7Mnfq75LwxYoD33J5kbiSI0-yGTBM_sB5lbny82U1sJf_NfNk/s1600-h/JackieEating.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrSiTBF926rNdUAln9arAvlilDymiLEMcwC53iO8PDtc_RoOQigvvCs5ULWLdlM0xTHesDGgjby6RaX5IXQuDw2DApVe7Mnfq75LwxYoD33J5kbiSI0-yGTBM_sB5lbny82U1sJf_NfNk/s320/JackieEating.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5119241423874311250" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj3Box25c7z2Hd2NLwCWHhLQ0Fw46VStHBxCPuhMliGOnhZkJzWNWU6Y93N39xAg-3Q5IQ4MvfN86fc_dwk1ujxqZeqhDQXOBmM8bAPbmkh-JcPt1x4t6mHI3l83RABhFiJHtZzPdMW-U/s1600-h/ManEating.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj3Box25c7z2Hd2NLwCWHhLQ0Fw46VStHBxCPuhMliGOnhZkJzWNWU6Y93N39xAg-3Q5IQ4MvfN86fc_dwk1ujxqZeqhDQXOBmM8bAPbmkh-JcPt1x4t6mHI3l83RABhFiJHtZzPdMW-U/s320/ManEating.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5119245628647294178" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Now, it's true that Mexican, Thai and various other food types are spicier than the average tuna on rye. And in a weird way, I know and agree with where Joseph is going with this. I just don't entirely believe his sandwich dismissal. My friend Mike Gillis is terrified of pies to the point where he won't be in the same room as one. It's much different than Joseph Kahn's anger at sandwiches.<br /><br />I suspect I was just challenged by some mixed messages I was struggling to interpret. Joseph once told me that I have more soul than any other white person he knows. Then, when sitting in class last week, he told me that I should embrace my whiteness more through the way I dress and act. I never realized I was denying it.<br /><br />This isn't to say that certain races are prefered over others, just that it's taken as a sign of confidence when people comport themselves to their own station in life rather than to someone else's. I'm opposed to this thinking for several reasons, principally because I'm not sure how it applies to me. But then, I hope I don't come across like Fergie either. <br /><br />"Look," Joseph explained, "I'm a Korean American. When I was growing up, I had no idea how to get girls until I reinvented my look as an Asian rock star. But it put me in a position where I noticed what kind of white guys girls go for. I know more about what it takes for white males to score than white males do. Trust me on this. I directed 2 Janet Jackson videos, 2 Britney Spears videos, and 2 Eminem videos."<br /><br />If you look around in LA, the trendiest white guy hairdo is something we'll call Extreme Bedhead. This goes along with collared t-shirts, and five o'clock shadow. In other words, to be the most desirable white guy one must look like actor Ryan Gosling.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMUWNNhH7ZJrxKC7Dl9HMkvLcUKDl4WYZHRbIsF1J06Dz60Mamy_zV9_OencvN3BfuFXFMOjkdCk2mHCRkmtuG4UB9_KLJLTVxzf6TQ8aT3vBhBs0KBVckc10lSRrG1cMgqoW1G-0OGcE/s1600-h/50984866_10.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMUWNNhH7ZJrxKC7Dl9HMkvLcUKDl4WYZHRbIsF1J06Dz60Mamy_zV9_OencvN3BfuFXFMOjkdCk2mHCRkmtuG4UB9_KLJLTVxzf6TQ8aT3vBhBs0KBVckc10lSRrG1cMgqoW1G-0OGcE/s320/50984866_10.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5119242304342606946" /></a><br /><br />So I did it up.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />The next step in my white identity project was to buy some indie rock. Joseph was in Seattle for his cousin’s wedding, but left me to look over his Hollywood home for the weekend and gave me permission to his car. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv7YPp1WvF_0qkZLraJJB_gaZPxTr8SagZ_LrYNeRTgjx5IdsLtZNeCsc21Hmhu9pPoe0ldPUCktCUPxU67lzQBpvI-py1QcQ3HJtMbkikvTeyH65JtBCMFIdRaO59Ay3CrDQbsLpdA7A/s1600-h/sized-images.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv7YPp1WvF_0qkZLraJJB_gaZPxTr8SagZ_LrYNeRTgjx5IdsLtZNeCsc21Hmhu9pPoe0ldPUCktCUPxU67lzQBpvI-py1QcQ3HJtMbkikvTeyH65JtBCMFIdRaO59Ay3CrDQbsLpdA7A/s320/sized-images.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5119245912115135730" /></a>If Joseph saw the Dana Carvey epic <i>Opportunity Knocks</i> he would know this was a terrible idea. But anyway, I drove down to Sunset, parked and began walking to Amoeba Music. The plan was to get the trendiest indie rock possible.<br /><br />It seemed like a stupid idea at first. But then, walking out of the store, I noticed Mary Elizabeth Winstead, star of <i>Death Proof</i>, <i>Live Free Or Die Hard</i>, <i>Sky High</i> and <i>Final Destination 3</i>. It’s hard to recognize celebrities immediately because when you see them in person their facial characteristics are in check, but they’re slightly differently proportioned than how they look on screen. Actors have giant heads because they’re easier to light that way.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5xUsx3r630ifCM0gm-aFMgqrR3fSJipo163QZML3NPazK4bGXDV_yMFKCoktUglgIoUjJKUKZnDEZiZ5otNp9QLDjx4oMYOqL_-RYVYEgZl2jWSrnFZdAg_SNy0wvALyuDGU16y8xIkY/s1600-h/000544883025.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5xUsx3r630ifCM0gm-aFMgqrR3fSJipo163QZML3NPazK4bGXDV_yMFKCoktUglgIoUjJKUKZnDEZiZ5otNp9QLDjx4oMYOqL_-RYVYEgZl2jWSrnFZdAg_SNy0wvALyuDGU16y8xIkY/s320/000544883025.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5119243137566262418" /></a>This was definitely her, though. She’s cute as hell. And my mission was validated when I noticed her hand-in-hand with a white boyfriend who is clearly uglier than me. (This isn’t just the ego of the world’s best-looking film critic talking. It’s observed fact.)<br /><br />Winstead looked at me, in my new sell-out get-up and hair-dew, and smiled. It didn’t matter that my soul crushing make-over made me feel like an absolute dork. In that brief moment she totally eye-fucked me. <br /><br />There were a lot of people in Amoeba Music that day. I decided to just stand in line at the register to ask for assistance.<br /><br />“Can I help you?, a white woman with dreadlocks asked.<br /><br />“Yes. I’m wondering what the hippest indie rock CD is right now?”<br /><br />“Hmm. Have you heard the latest TV on the Radio?”<br /><br />“No. I need something more white?”<br /><br />“Excuse me??”<br /><br />“I’m trying to impress this girl who thinks I’m racist against white music, which is a thoroughly untrue and inappropriate supposition for her to make, but still I’d like some help.”<br /><br />“There’s The Arcade Fire. They’re a collective without a real group leader. Like the white Wu-Tang.”<br /><br />“That’s not white enough.”<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBxBKN6M-4SEQIEsvAGKM_jvnATREcnA9Qd3Nbw0afpRIVyW2I3-YVMRJ46yYnZh7MQqIqwCOZbhwbYw0aUg84O7LcuKsojBt-Lh38g9DyFsz4NZay1go9kAy-_jyNLoyb5AKXdVARe90/s1600-h/tv+on+the+radio.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBxBKN6M-4SEQIEsvAGKM_jvnATREcnA9Qd3Nbw0afpRIVyW2I3-YVMRJ46yYnZh7MQqIqwCOZbhwbYw0aUg84O7LcuKsojBt-Lh38g9DyFsz4NZay1go9kAy-_jyNLoyb5AKXdVARe90/s320/tv+on+the+radio.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5119246199877944578" /></a><br />At this point, the true silliness of this race based presentation exercise was starting to hit me again. Taking interest only in the small piece of the world one's born into has always seemed ignorant to me. Yet this is how so many people choose to live. I rail against xenophobia a lot in my writing because life is about the experience of branching out—understanding yourself, your situation, and others’ by taking interest in the world around you. Almost as annoying to me as outward racists are people who think they’re combating racism simply by ignoring it altogether—denying its presence in everything.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy_LLEt4x1oqzReyjxnr0w9ZR6avjGSAS_ykgWIWBdCEzRiHUxTWl0ZORL31AEwIXz546465LIYOLYOu2mPvcO3mjKBRFV45ov8uhYq6xY8H7lv3oFceOIbIe5Ds5itxl90IgwBZXKgSw/s1600-h/photo_15_hires.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy_LLEt4x1oqzReyjxnr0w9ZR6avjGSAS_ykgWIWBdCEzRiHUxTWl0ZORL31AEwIXz546465LIYOLYOu2mPvcO3mjKBRFV45ov8uhYq6xY8H7lv3oFceOIbIe5Ds5itxl90IgwBZXKgSw/s320/photo_15_hires.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5119244670869587122" /></a>More specifically, where are the people complaining about <i>Superbad</i>? Sure, it’s just one in a long line of teen movies to relegate adolescence to an all-white experience. But in 2007, this view is reflective of nothing. The only black character in <i>Superbad</i> is the liquor store cashier. The only Asian is Evan’s male cooking class bitch. There’s a substantial number of white kids for whom this media fabricated view is their embraced reality. Check out the movies and music on many 20<br />-something caucasians' MySpace pages for proof. It’s a sickness of hegemony—a subliminal racism wherein the non-white world just doesn’t exist. And I’m not trying to come off as righteous. It seriously bothers me. Who casts a movie with only white people, and then sees nothing wrong?<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpgKKXtGMFI0I2xCKJA5VRhlclmRcErdC17fi5837T1okLRldackPc_M6tA07SEVENzyeXa5B5V7XeXOF_j4oG5p3OHyI4kdp-yPjmS8_UpbBgBWn8KYcLyDHU5bGfgVBmcujvQz-7pPc/s1600-h/TheHills_flipbook_cover1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpgKKXtGMFI0I2xCKJA5VRhlclmRcErdC17fi5837T1okLRldackPc_M6tA07SEVENzyeXa5B5V7XeXOF_j4oG5p3OHyI4kdp-yPjmS8_UpbBgBWn8KYcLyDHU5bGfgVBmcujvQz-7pPc/s320/TheHills_flipbook_cover1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5119245023056905410" /></a><br /><br />Let me make this much clear: Joseph Kahn has nothing against white people (he likes some of them more than I do), though his sandwich-hate is perhaps unconsidered. He simply has an outsider-understanding of how white America works and wants to let me know that game can be played to my advantage if I want.<br /><br />Which brings me to the next topic. The most cruelly discriminated against group (by the educated elite, no less!), with the least support from anyone, isn’t a race at all. It’s The Stupid. Next blog.Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-56097713429842082132007-09-09T14:31:00.000-03:002013-09-17T16:29:57.739-03:00Planet Canada<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjemlH024NXhpz-LHfcGJ4WnqZFt3x68mW1aVxQVpZQhljwOctQDvFEWBTyk7IDcxhVe2GTKe7khyphenhyphen9dKPXq4Cu_jJZzsMWa9S5EvIBryllavQD-HGLVSGGd9qsEyICBLkHT_dsaeLUl_8g/s1600-h/meatballs1lrg._V21612345_.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5108275227456921346" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjemlH024NXhpz-LHfcGJ4WnqZFt3x68mW1aVxQVpZQhljwOctQDvFEWBTyk7IDcxhVe2GTKe7khyphenhyphen9dKPXq4Cu_jJZzsMWa9S5EvIBryllavQD-HGLVSGGd9qsEyICBLkHT_dsaeLUl_8g/s320/meatballs1lrg._V21612345_.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />
The Burj Dubai is about to surpass the CN Tower as the world's tallest freestanding structure. Although Toronto's CN Tower has, until now, been taller than all buildings, it could never take the tallest building claim. It is not inhabitable from the bottom to the top--lacking attractions and amusements like floors and office space. Henceforth, it doesn't qualify as a building. That's your architectural lesson of the day. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMA4hE5NOK6PtdtnvDsIyVwwRSd_YZsnjhaMIy1ahzqzFalvtwT7L0GnzklrrrEkNAqd3mRxdGwjaizA9zdWrw6uDu9ZDFYy9Xizwa1_RKbWU-kWmjoOOrVKjxBx0TY_YwCEmUBa9kEPs/s1600-h/Burj+Dubai+-+80.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5108275506629795602" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMA4hE5NOK6PtdtnvDsIyVwwRSd_YZsnjhaMIy1ahzqzFalvtwT7L0GnzklrrrEkNAqd3mRxdGwjaizA9zdWrw6uDu9ZDFYy9Xizwa1_RKbWU-kWmjoOOrVKjxBx0TY_YwCEmUBa9kEPs/s320/Burj+Dubai+-+80.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; margin: 0 0 10px 10px;" /></a>I’m told the CN Tower has some communications purposes. But let’s be honest. It was built just to be taller than everything else. Thanks to the Burj Dubai, it is now completely useless. <br />
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Though Canadians will never let it on, this comes as a devastating blow to our morale. Canadians are like United Statesmen in some ways. We generally participate in the same culture. But where those neighbours to the south get to choose between football and baseball, Canadians who dislike hockey are unpatriotic. They get to pick between My Chemical Romance and Velvet Revolver, but if you’re Canadian, fuck you if you don’t support The Tragically Hip. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiHc2Fium4CFCK4UxVWPE2kN7PszCD2eY2LQeZvPY5O_mhyphenhypheniEKVUNXjyriAIgZAomy0nJlHZwSAE19-0y7fNCvjMv9jWBSTIj18_0pKSCQISGpIvq6h6mCXEj5gEpbuV1M22zF0Caewbk/s1600-h/CBC_Logo_1974-1986.png"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5108276172349726498" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiHc2Fium4CFCK4UxVWPE2kN7PszCD2eY2LQeZvPY5O_mhyphenhypheniEKVUNXjyriAIgZAomy0nJlHZwSAE19-0y7fNCvjMv9jWBSTIj18_0pKSCQISGpIvq6h6mCXEj5gEpbuV1M22zF0Caewbk/s320/CBC_Logo_1974-1986.png" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0 10px 10px 0;" /></a>Many Canadians grow up with feelings of marginalization, so they band together and pretend to like all the same stuff. You can see this in comedy that comes out of Canada. Canadians are funny people, and their humour is based largely in outsider characters. In the States, they don’t shed a tear when they see the NBC logo, but the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation is like our Statue of Liberty. <br />
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I never wanted to be a part of that. My perspective is based in being completely addicted to US pop culture, while also feeling outside of it because of where I live. Things that are uniquely Canadian tend to make me uncomfortable. I like sketch comedy fine, but you will never see me reenacting <i>Kids in the Hall</i> at a party. I haven't eaten maple syrup in over a month. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-fItJ66S8LJ2H5LVsBch0FKSn7yqplNHPnZFtvyQ_QAZV8Xs332Kf1Lhr5iLmAlCDJAtyjOlKNjtmLw-e0VBtNQWXMEl4kBDxieQNtKrSDfM416WQMJknBLkqznWg-DMVsdsD9f-k9-g/s1600-h/poutine.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5108276472997437234" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-fItJ66S8LJ2H5LVsBch0FKSn7yqplNHPnZFtvyQ_QAZV8Xs332Kf1Lhr5iLmAlCDJAtyjOlKNjtmLw-e0VBtNQWXMEl4kBDxieQNtKrSDfM416WQMJknBLkqznWg-DMVsdsD9f-k9-g/s320/poutine.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0 10px 10px 0;" /></a>I have never ordered poutine (the national food of Canada, made of fries, cheese curds and gravy) at a restaurant, despite having eaten it several times through means that I guess didn’t require me ordering it. To my knowledge, I have also never been fishing. And I have certainly never caught a fish. On the rare occasion that I drink, I prefer hard liquor to beer. It feels more hardcore, and I like that brief moment after you take a swig where you can gaze through space and time. Beer is for fat guys who don't wear shirts at barbecues. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-kKH90y2jL_t9b1wCU5VqLK_j2tAbnZmcgXRh2gKp1h92iKawc6GSW9MKtjC3QMzq2oeXn4jICVIO7-wd2moGBLphSVc4cs1jYQxcf58YrojPoInR1CFZTd8Dq0DUoPJp4GTOF38Z68w/s1600-h/Howe.jpeg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5108277190256975698" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-kKH90y2jL_t9b1wCU5VqLK_j2tAbnZmcgXRh2gKp1h92iKawc6GSW9MKtjC3QMzq2oeXn4jICVIO7-wd2moGBLphSVc4cs1jYQxcf58YrojPoInR1CFZTd8Dq0DUoPJp4GTOF38Z68w/s320/Howe.jpeg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />
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In my first year of elementary school, the guys in my class were always talking about the NHL. I didn’t know who the fuck Gordie Howe was, and couldn’t understand why other 5 year-olds weren’t more into Indiana Jones and Star Wars. <br />
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This is a way of saying that I’m a fraudulent Canadian. But I will patriotically defend that title till my death!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiupW57rb2_r-Ad627axwrP99t_ednsTQ1S1-yIkK1EN5qMpSoTYB0bPeQ-ZA7xqWe6Op3fu8KSzAwbauM3dM7CKHZH_uH-FwyazAaAz52diWSdopVQVmBlli6UosjiUZvdhsSoLvgE2o0/s1600-h/c7bbf3f9-0f69-40cf-8108-c8a375aaeb2b.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5108276915379068738" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiupW57rb2_r-Ad627axwrP99t_ednsTQ1S1-yIkK1EN5qMpSoTYB0bPeQ-ZA7xqWe6Op3fu8KSzAwbauM3dM7CKHZH_uH-FwyazAaAz52diWSdopVQVmBlli6UosjiUZvdhsSoLvgE2o0/s320/c7bbf3f9-0f69-40cf-8108-c8a375aaeb2b.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; margin: 0 0 10px 10px;" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqKhUPvixmL3DI3fByerBZhYUc-mlHPg5EDunhGhpkhWcstx2XWPe-wiaI5ja38YaxkSERNONqjuUfNwQwGgp93AK4KAVrvfxMMKc-1YVPPRZJ8wHhSrZkJLS98sTYYPNNRO30ydjdywQ/s1600-h/pt-tt-shoreexcursions_1.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5108277654113443682" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqKhUPvixmL3DI3fByerBZhYUc-mlHPg5EDunhGhpkhWcstx2XWPe-wiaI5ja38YaxkSERNONqjuUfNwQwGgp93AK4KAVrvfxMMKc-1YVPPRZJ8wHhSrZkJLS98sTYYPNNRO30ydjdywQ/s320/pt-tt-shoreexcursions_1.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; margin: 0 0 10px 10px;" /></a>I live in Halifax, Nova Scotia, the most violent city in Canada. I know it here. I like it here. Nobody has tried to kill me. The only times I've come close to getting in a fight in my life was due to the aggression of other Canadians who drank too much beer. This feels like a peaceful city. There's no huge difference between Canadians and Americans as far as I can tell. The difference is more evident in what the two countries produce. Minor variants in our pop culture taste are also apparent. For instance, pop-punk (even US-made) was popular for longer over here. For some reason, the US seems more accepting of Nickelback than my fellow countrymen are.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8aalpX7lqlcAF7oSX8IFJIeGZGiqMBsebukCvkJkgfcCEg0txbt3H5Tbmzxo9P-NnIQTqjlM-B7LWAZ4yCeXF5Xzc7ZxYPYzT69sWB7GNxFoVTA1VqbwQ_s4JVBYzxOKlYFIJYr-4yQg/s1600-h/diet_coke_bacon.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5108277916106448754" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8aalpX7lqlcAF7oSX8IFJIeGZGiqMBsebukCvkJkgfcCEg0txbt3H5Tbmzxo9P-NnIQTqjlM-B7LWAZ4yCeXF5Xzc7ZxYPYzT69sWB7GNxFoVTA1VqbwQ_s4JVBYzxOKlYFIJYr-4yQg/s320/diet_coke_bacon.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0 10px 10px 0;" /></a>But since I frequently do work out of the US, I'm never sure how the other country perceives me. Joseph Kahn insists my accent is Canadian, though I believe he is mistaken. I have more of a Brooklyn accent. It's a result of French immersion schooling, which had some effect on how I talk, and watching a lot of gangster movies while realizing my Italian heritage. The common thing that happens when an American finds out you're from Canada is they'll try to be funny by saying something to you and ending it with an "eh." Yes, that's fucking hilarious! I can't tell you how many Canadians I heard say "eh" this afternoon.<br />
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And we say a-boat, not a-boot, motherfucker. Even the <i>South Park</i> movie got that wrong. <br />
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A primary speech difference is in localized "urban" speech. Canadians are more likely to end a sentence with "cuz," while Americans will end it with "dogg." There has recently been some international crossover with these terms. A Nova Scotia variant to the hip-hop greeting "What's happening?" is "What are you saying?" I hate "What are you saying?" because it's confusing no matter how often it's asked. There's no possible way to answer it except with a "Not much." <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOeKqpogmQaNTQoYIsFFonPea1st1HzHRsPqlcrdnYEoEfr1PPeQlITOZm98WL1LRTV0R-YUSbm0VjLAuYXWEWl1I8kyNA7nt7D1OsrzgwFmdx1wuMa9vv9ssrZccCWSpUmr_TQ7C-g1A/s1600-h/k-os.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5108278263998799746" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOeKqpogmQaNTQoYIsFFonPea1st1HzHRsPqlcrdnYEoEfr1PPeQlITOZm98WL1LRTV0R-YUSbm0VjLAuYXWEWl1I8kyNA7nt7D1OsrzgwFmdx1wuMa9vv9ssrZccCWSpUmr_TQ7C-g1A/s320/k-os.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; margin: 0 0 10px 10px;" /></a>Rappers in the States are more frightening than rappers in Canada. Canada's biggest current rap star is K-Os. He's one of those socially conscious rappers who is often photograped showing that he's smart by tapping his index finger on the side of his head. 50 Cent could kick his ass in a fight.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY843GMalDuyDL1sOY0V0mzACCM3CqcZS8Az2ds3X3IKgxOp3WwoOhyHmfhKTvVA2hyphenhyphenjM6qhtLWRPrYFqcP-GP9MuXnecI3o-qzY57xtxhKHaZzWHCbUE3EHbkCf4I-TLUOVum_pfSrSM/s1600-h/bottle_keiths.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5108278805164679058" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY843GMalDuyDL1sOY0V0mzACCM3CqcZS8Az2ds3X3IKgxOp3WwoOhyHmfhKTvVA2hyphenhyphenjM6qhtLWRPrYFqcP-GP9MuXnecI3o-qzY57xtxhKHaZzWHCbUE3EHbkCf4I-TLUOVum_pfSrSM/s320/bottle_keiths.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0 10px 10px 0;" /></a>When you tell an American that you're a Canadian, their internal response is "OK, this person's almost like me, but there will be something weird about him." That's a valid reaction, because it's absolutely correct. Canadians are Americans who are weirder. They develop extra quirks from the displacement of knowing their country isn't a superpower. It's an ego thing when you're aware that you resemble the top of the food chain, but aren't really there. It's like why vegetarians have slightly lower self-esteem than people who eat meat.<br />
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This displacement perspective is an advantage I have. For whatever I'm doing right (if I'm doing something right), I think my interest in pop, combined with my displaced Canadian perspective, is a piece of why it's interesting (if it's interesting). I like Canada AND the USA. It's the ways the two countries mythologize each other that never helps.<br />
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I'm sure Michael Moore thinks he's complimenting Canada whenever he portrays this country as the land of liberty, free sex and unicorns. His most recent film <i>Sicko</i> pined for our socialized health care system. Don't get me wrong, I would not trade in this system. It's just that this fake divide between the countries gets stronger when people speak in extremes and can't weigh things intelligently. The negative reality of socialized health care in Canada is that there's a long wait for almost any hospital procedure. To make up for this, doctors like to tell people they're suffering from anxiety. Granted, most of the time the doctors use the anxiety excuse it's because they don't want to send you home by saying, "I'm sorry, I really have no idea what's causing this." But it's also an easy way out. The few patients who have legitimized this system by really seeing their doctors for anxiety reasons will burn in hell. <br />
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It hurts to think in extremes. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTDPnzMKD2XjAGVdg3HIZ6-v_VVekniBZSlW0o2jqXPP9GU7CI-gFA1LHC22bLVo94AcVwbntVGFOS_B3zen9WipB9p_pyp6yfULAQeYOynqHklyrCvDy1bV1rP9mYTSC8CzL24BOYpgU/s1600-h/Going_Berserk_poster.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5108279097222455202" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTDPnzMKD2XjAGVdg3HIZ6-v_VVekniBZSlW0o2jqXPP9GU7CI-gFA1LHC22bLVo94AcVwbntVGFOS_B3zen9WipB9p_pyp6yfULAQeYOynqHklyrCvDy1bV1rP9mYTSC8CzL24BOYpgU/s320/Going_Berserk_poster.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; margin: 0 0 10px 10px;" /></a><br />
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Most Canadian who were kids in the 80s have specific prejudices against this country's film and TV. Canadian TV back then didn't look right. It wasn't as slick as <i>Dallas</i> and <i>The A-Team</i>. The film grain was more pronounced. The acting was different. But as much as the States also looks down on our entertainment, we made them richer. It was <i>Degrassi Junior High</i> and <i>Degrassi High</i> that was the blueprint for the prime time teen soap opera. Canadians who are my age learned half their values from <i>Degrassi</i>. It directly led to Fox's interest in starting <i>Beverly Hills 90210</i>. Which of course led to <i>Dawson's Creek</i> and <i>The OC</i> and all the rest. <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB9QcH1RwFWs9-qyZTTMR8xGyUAf75aHTg9sFb_y1h98ExKzTj_ljKzPu0J1xAPqiWDcQc1KDjwDM37gLq_AMr6mNi1texidEbg5Yt7j70BZX6MpC-p8iOnjDv6TomZZLSGpMgzi7gbek/s1600-h/djh.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5108279376395329458" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB9QcH1RwFWs9-qyZTTMR8xGyUAf75aHTg9sFb_y1h98ExKzTj_ljKzPu0J1xAPqiWDcQc1KDjwDM37gLq_AMr6mNi1texidEbg5Yt7j70BZX6MpC-p8iOnjDv6TomZZLSGpMgzi7gbek/s320/djh.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />
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A lot of our film genres are owed to the recently deceased Bob Clark. Canada is the creator of the teen sex comedy. It doesn't matter that <i>Porky</i>'s sucks; <i>Superbad</i> owes us. We invented the slasher film--the first was <i>Black Christmas</i>, not <i>Halloween</i>. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit1zOBMoZo2GX2KnMd0QsGfH0Zc6MzNCZRMcqc0oq2RpvVPmQZ9Lm5-ZsZU0CCxeqMMk3Uuj8_rAYDaoGj9V6LcbYD6z9pbDGM6gBkg4nV_Hyhb9s3yvGUiwgRuZcYr-qK3U4nWrOy41U/s1600-h/Black_christmas_movie_poster.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5108279668453105602" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit1zOBMoZo2GX2KnMd0QsGfH0Zc6MzNCZRMcqc0oq2RpvVPmQZ9Lm5-ZsZU0CCxeqMMk3Uuj8_rAYDaoGj9V6LcbYD6z9pbDGM6gBkg4nV_Hyhb9s3yvGUiwgRuZcYr-qK3U4nWrOy41U/s320/Black_christmas_movie_poster.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0 10px 10px 0;" /></a>Because of <i>Porky's</i>, Americans always think they will have an easy time getting laid in Canada. Remember in <i>Planes, Trains and Automobiles</i> when John Hughes shows John Candy in the airport reading a book called <i>The Canadian Mounted</i>? Our movies have created a mystique around the sexual power of Canadian women. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ5P5pcfL3t2mM5mQ7lq6jc9O92JDSzgUkuuUqjdXoeQc4bnfgheqQuLNWpJvRTi3hlaWYeECk9oTV4T31JqJUvPfyVlhh5AhUq2IzQGVgPYkKYn-ptERnk6imiHWCYbG-IgNX5d_Qql0/s1600-h/Secret_of_my_success.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5108280222503886818" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ5P5pcfL3t2mM5mQ7lq6jc9O92JDSzgUkuuUqjdXoeQc4bnfgheqQuLNWpJvRTi3hlaWYeECk9oTV4T31JqJUvPfyVlhh5AhUq2IzQGVgPYkKYn-ptERnk6imiHWCYbG-IgNX5d_Qql0/s320/Secret_of_my_success.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; margin: 0 0 10px 10px;" /></a><br />
The grunge movement owes Neil Young. Alanis is owed for other white girls getting angry. I don't even listen to that much Canadian music, but I have some inkling of patriotism about this stuff. I may not be a huge Rush fan, but when I read about Primus or Fishbone giving them props, or hearing "Tom Sawyer" in Rob Zombie's <i>Halloween</i>, that means a lot to me. Canadians pop contributions are too often overlooked and downgraded.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd7j2-8y6aIvWjrKkfSBN2FR9PPg2sUOEJxF55RMx0oyIh-HQvWoEJLbnSMB7ul8vouWHyrjPOubI88OF8RnzMKtAzsjOQ1aFdlf5b8E_m_PhhFjcWyc-ilLfu8jFHU9W5u_iMMd5l8Jk/s1600-h/B_1132302423.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5108280725015060466" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd7j2-8y6aIvWjrKkfSBN2FR9PPg2sUOEJxF55RMx0oyIh-HQvWoEJLbnSMB7ul8vouWHyrjPOubI88OF8RnzMKtAzsjOQ1aFdlf5b8E_m_PhhFjcWyc-ilLfu8jFHU9W5u_iMMd5l8Jk/s320/B_1132302423.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0 10px 10px 0;" /></a>In terms of movies, this happens because the Canadian film industry is presently a joke. The funding goes to the most boring ideas and the filmmakers who have been in the game longest. The current importance placed on Atom Egoyan (last really great movie: 1994) and David Cronenberg (1986, and yes, I've seen <i>Eastern Promises</i>) is overstated because no one's looking for alternatives. As long as stars stay within their expected sphere of Canadiana, they never go away. It's why all Canadian movies star the same three actors.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg-SmmGxbRkTMU6JQy1zViwnN-cYlu4pMQJvdWJHvYXhOY58FapujNIFc0rST3lrk29lIx7atH8u17CJaYjG-j0gUKJG9g8SBxPInbpG5BWNeUIQghb5Jg4jc0NCD7-eT0XGuqTalk-3Y/s1600-h/Trish-Stratus.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5108279969100816338" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg-SmmGxbRkTMU6JQy1zViwnN-cYlu4pMQJvdWJHvYXhOY58FapujNIFc0rST3lrk29lIx7atH8u17CJaYjG-j0gUKJG9g8SBxPInbpG5BWNeUIQghb5Jg4jc0NCD7-eT0XGuqTalk-3Y/s320/Trish-Stratus.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />
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This is where it gets weird. If you're a Canadian who is talented, and is ambitious with that talent, it's easier to get recognized by the States. Despite how people talk about it, the Canadian film industry is more conservative than Hollywood. Your talent can easily fall out of the range of how Canada wants to portray itself. Tom Green gets to be a big star in Canada for about 6 months, until the USA takes to his talent. He becomes huge on MTV, and then Canadians start hating him. This overseas-concentrated interest has happened to some friends of mine too, and it's happened to me.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgReIj6yfk-NPSSFLhGR8kzOm-efeoiXvZ6ZcMbAJAEK3gnwWbvlm9ZdTVZM-GzuDJjAFWTGvnEteobxTTu-latvWVhFBPghviZPOEw7vz_1U7iNcPmTMGR3Bqhb22XZXX0lgIR4_0huNo/s1600-h/Tom_Green_main.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5108281674202832898" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgReIj6yfk-NPSSFLhGR8kzOm-efeoiXvZ6ZcMbAJAEK3gnwWbvlm9ZdTVZM-GzuDJjAFWTGvnEteobxTTu-latvWVhFBPghviZPOEw7vz_1U7iNcPmTMGR3Bqhb22XZXX0lgIR4_0huNo/s320/Tom_Green_main.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; margin: 0 0 10px 10px;" /></a> <br />
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The biggest recent breakthrough star in Halifax is Ellen Page. She became big in Canada first, and then got recognized in the USA where she made <i>Hard Candy</i> and <i>X-Men: The Last Stand</i>. Page was smart by jumping on board when the US became interested in her work. By still alternating with Canadian productions, Canada doesn't feel she's outside of the scope of what this industry is about. <br />
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The Canadian film industry has a very narrow view of what kinds of movies should be made. An easy rule to live by is never to expect great things from any movie that begins with a shot of a body of water unless it's <i>AI: Artificial Intelligence</i>. Some OK movies have begun on water, such as the generic helicopter shot from water to land that opens <i>The Lost Boys</i> and <i>Snakes on a Plane</i>. Usually, though, it's a sign of desperation in movies that don't really have anything much to do with water in the longrun. This rule especially holds for movies made in Nova Scotia. When one of those starts with water, it's a deathtrap. It will likely end with the characters ODing or committing suicide. <br />
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Did you know that The Rock is from Amherst, Nova Scotia? Me neither, until a week ago. That makes it somewhat more ingenious that I compared my likeness to his in a past blog entry. I don't remember Halifax throwing a party for <i>The Scorpion King</i>'s opening. What kind of movies would The Rock even be making if Canada wanted him? <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7wiiuJZevY5vkHz08v_7Nl2huxz93W7w4P1ZBvu7vr1KiPXl7Ls6Vfrgzmzs3MOtWIZaNsuEfg5aToi9dZHUDWLOZx-2oZ54fhaoxXqZW5SeUMZD841Usy3zbNqzoZhVd0m5BtevKsxM/s1600-h/EllenPage_Miche_12308603_400.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5108282000620347410" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7wiiuJZevY5vkHz08v_7Nl2huxz93W7w4P1ZBvu7vr1KiPXl7Ls6Vfrgzmzs3MOtWIZaNsuEfg5aToi9dZHUDWLOZx-2oZ54fhaoxXqZW5SeUMZD841Usy3zbNqzoZhVd0m5BtevKsxM/s320/EllenPage_Miche_12308603_400.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0 10px 10px 0;" /></a>Canada needs a unique movie, made by its traitors who went Hollywood. We'll keep it mainly based on Nova Scotia exports. I'll write and direct. The main stars are The Rock and Ellen Page. Tom Green can also star. That's an amazing cast! If you saw The Rock playing frisbee in a park with Ellen Page and Tom Green you would think it was the coolest thing ever and would draw a picture of it on the bus ride home. I don't even have to know what it's about. This is already one of the greatest films of the sound era. <br />
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That's because it defies expectations on what's Canadian. It's bad enough when countries define each other, they don't need to define themselves. Don't let your weirdness be figured out.Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-24663070444207166072007-07-18T20:05:00.000-03:002007-07-19T15:33:20.178-03:00Rock for Relevance<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKpqSgvkXvD1eXx2Gj808RvkH5ClmK6H6kaFBQBWuGK6NMgv1demtSbp3M0NXlKRaqCaVNramC8wp3keDpaQhdlAiTwnXAcQvR16IzpVewcratfVkfwQV5kz6bZtIgTUvzb6TuYPodoAc/s1600-h/1418156146_l.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKpqSgvkXvD1eXx2Gj808RvkH5ClmK6H6kaFBQBWuGK6NMgv1demtSbp3M0NXlKRaqCaVNramC8wp3keDpaQhdlAiTwnXAcQvR16IzpVewcratfVkfwQV5kz6bZtIgTUvzb6TuYPodoAc/s320/1418156146_l.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5088770694345543810" /></a><br />Soundscan reports that in its first week the Smashing Pumpkins reunion (that's Billy Corgan and Jimmy Chamberlin) album <i>Zeitgeist</i> sold 149,000 copies. It's number 2 on the US chart after TI. The Pumpkins are number 1 in Canada, because many Canadians are strangely confused by urban pop music, and the logging industry inspires people to want to rock.<br /><br />This is a band that's a decade past its heyday, and goes in and out of fashion with record critics with regularity. Album sales are half of what they were 10 years ago, except for country music (presumably because its listeners are less prone to use computers, but I'm not going there.) Number 2 seems pretty good. But MTV news is calling the sales a disappointment. And the reviews have been harsh. I think <i>Zeitgeist</i> is fairly solid, and unselfconscious about how a new Smashing Pumpkins is supposed to sound. <br /><br />I have a theory about SP albums that I haven't heard from anyone else. It's that they're each about a different age. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLUyKyx0hqYcx3Fl0D2SETnE1EGB9bYwWQ2Ze1wSQm8gVF2Psb3M0agPuVUeiO4l6ja-hlMERwunsDDY6nbUgjS5xkYEaFqBpXgjO5HAkk4M_4u28YsYjFQHDIRqtjtg5mrD8Vm6XRzZ4/s1600-h/l_6534c0770a64c3b05abae1f0714dff3d.gif"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLUyKyx0hqYcx3Fl0D2SETnE1EGB9bYwWQ2Ze1wSQm8gVF2Psb3M0agPuVUeiO4l6ja-hlMERwunsDDY6nbUgjS5xkYEaFqBpXgjO5HAkk4M_4u28YsYjFQHDIRqtjtg5mrD8Vm6XRzZ4/s320/l_6534c0770a64c3b05abae1f0714dff3d.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5088770990698287250" /></a><i>Gish</i> doesn't count, since it's just the band releasing its first material. <i>Siamese Dream</i> is an album about<br />childhood. <i>Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness</i> is about adolescence. More specifically, it's about high school. And frankly, I can barely say how important that CD was to me in grades 11 and 12. Everybody had it too. <i>Adore</i> is set during a person's mid to late 20s, after the hardest most soul-defining break up of their life. <i>Machina I</i> and <i>II</i> are next about man's relationship to God. <br /><br /><i>Zeitgeist</i> is about the person trying to remain true to himself when ideals like country, government and God have all come to mean something that he opposes. If anything, it's about reclaiming those terms. The adult is brought back to a state of adolescent idealism and rebellion. That's why the line in "Doomsday Clock" that goes "These lonely days, will they ever stop?" has pertinence. It's an adult character frustrated that he's still plagued by teenage feelings. <br /><br />The same goes for "7 Shades of Black." There's a 90s feel to these first 2 songs, and I think that's in the way their sentiment reaches out to listeners. It's angsty, but more poetically phrased than Linkin Park. This track would be killer if the guitars were louder. It's not quite "Bodies."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMPOonkfleFUCeKtIHSiTLD3B7vHAL9tgwgbyFETl_kKAplyJ4tOS5qLIUA3-OxDv6QwoqMKJLjUZ1aVp33b2AK0f8w8Shq3wl8y68WihnYFlESvgJSq_z0_hQKHsoqyelBqpWqa1ZpMs/s1600-h/Billy-Corgan-rp02.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMPOonkfleFUCeKtIHSiTLD3B7vHAL9tgwgbyFETl_kKAplyJ4tOS5qLIUA3-OxDv6QwoqMKJLjUZ1aVp33b2AK0f8w8Shq3wl8y68WihnYFlESvgJSq_z0_hQKHsoqyelBqpWqa1ZpMs/s320/Billy-Corgan-rp02.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5088771252691292322" /></a>The really good songs on <i>Zeitgeist</i> are "Doomsday Clock," "That's the Way (My Love Is)," "Tarantula," "Starz," "Neverlost" and "For God and Country." I first thought the album hit a slump after midpoint "United States." But then I was listening to "Neverlost" in my car the other night and really liked it. Maybe because it was the first time I understood it. It's the kind of song you need to hear when you're driving alone at night. The only really weak track is "Bring the Light." <br /><br />Does <i>Zeitgeist</i> come close to being the new <i>Mellon Collie</i>? Of course not. It's not that good. What albums are? <br /><br />So yeah, I think it's a solid CD. It had the potential to be great, but for some reason 3 key tracks were left as B-sides, each separately available on special editions of the album. The solution is to purchase the album, download the songs "Death From Above," "Stellar" and "Zeitgeist" and then make an expanded version (based on where each appear on their special editions the songs should be placed respectively as tracks 9, 12 and 15.) Without them, <i>Zeitgeist</i> has thematic coherence, but plays like so many albums this year as a collection of potential singles. In the iPod generation, record labels assume nobody listens to CDs from start to end anymore. These songs give <i>Zeitgeist</i> its shape and texture. It becomes epic and pretentious, like great Pumpkins albums should be. "Stellar" even contains some of the most heartfelt lyrics of the album. Corgan asks, "Is it wrong to say / There's God and then there's faith? / Is it wrong to say so?" -- a plea for freedom of expression in a world with strict tabs on what constitutes acceptable thoughts. <br /><br />The summer of 07 has found a surplus of 90s rock stars vying for a share of the new marketplace. Many of them seem out of place in the <i>American Idol</i>, <i>High School Musical</i> and faceless indie rock climate. Sales and reviews have reflected this. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFc_g7IzAx07ZN7lE7tpJwdui_ugvFOIUpkyYZxlUC_Pj9U09cEubGtlK_59tfpQknJfFSe8QhPBIFYeRjMe_Q8QLFjjSEHVC5sCoey0VJUB7-zvHrTsznc-ayuaMYVUBVZPBT1agIs0c/s1600-h/chris-cornell-colour30.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFc_g7IzAx07ZN7lE7tpJwdui_ugvFOIUpkyYZxlUC_Pj9U09cEubGtlK_59tfpQknJfFSe8QhPBIFYeRjMe_Q8QLFjjSEHVC5sCoey0VJUB7-zvHrTsznc-ayuaMYVUBVZPBT1agIs0c/s320/chris-cornell-colour30.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5088771647828283570" /></a>It probably shouldn't be too surprising that Chris Cornell's second solo CD <i>Carry On</i> hasn't fared too well commercially. But that doesn't excuse the way music critics misread Cornell's efforts and intentions against past totems. Let's be honest with ourselves, and all agree that Soundgarden's <i>Superunknown</i> is the best rock album of the 90s. Great. Now let's also admit that we'd be laughing at Cornell if he was trying to make his present work sound like Soundgarden.<br /><br /><i>Carry On</i>'s song structures are often too simple, and its tone sometimes misjudged. It should also be noted that the final song, <i>Casino Royale</i> theme "You Know My Name," does not fit here. But what's right about it outweighs what's wrong. I sometimes think Cornell is the most misunderstood major rock vocalist. I'd probably place him as one of the top 5 writers who have influenced my own writing. He's made a record about the strains of aging with regret. Its the pop sensibilities critics harp on. But it's Cornell's faith in pop that makes it matter. <br /><br />The single "No Such Thing" recalls the danger of youthful nihilism, with experience. The lesson "there's no such thing as nothing" communicates that the wish for invisibility is impossible. "Laughed at love / It was a big mistake / In the absence of / I filled it with hate." <br /><br />If <i>Carry On</i> disappoints, it's in the same way the summer's other rock star returns do. Those of us who were in their adolescence when they were at their height want them to return to that place where they can take over the world. Part of it is the musicians, and the listeners, getting older. While the music can still have pertinence, it will be a different pertinence. We can never look at rock stars the same way we did at 17. If we do, we're in trouble. Cornell's on the right track by not trying to recapture past glory. <br /> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx3IE-qS17bCWNxYOtuj8DFTrkyCF3UK1mL4Z4N8Ms98HCVOkgLfXrHsG-915JoFF42NR0t1eaok1QZ6QwZxLxJebYwn9sI3XFS2yC0EFNYzUgxQlPY67wG021BAjgzc1pZpYJx7mN-MA/s1600-h/1151379340.jpeg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx3IE-qS17bCWNxYOtuj8DFTrkyCF3UK1mL4Z4N8Ms98HCVOkgLfXrHsG-915JoFF42NR0t1eaok1QZ6QwZxLxJebYwn9sI3XFS2yC0EFNYzUgxQlPY67wG021BAjgzc1pZpYJx7mN-MA/s320/1151379340.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5088772244828737730" /></a><br />Mike Patton has never stopped keeping at it. His new project with outfit Tomahawk, titled <i>Anonymous</i>, is an album of electric renditions of Native American tribal chants from the late 1800s. The music succeeds as atmospheric pop, although Patton's ritual chanting can be silly. I like most albums the guy puts out, but I'm still waiting for one to occupy my mind and time since the last Mr. Bungle release. Mike Patton has become the master of new ideas that end up sort of like all his other ideas. How often do you listen to, for instance, the third Fantomas album? He's a genius whose music, now more than ever, needs to find its soul. For a challenging artist, that will be the real challenge for his fanbase.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii9m5fU8Fs_XFvux3c78sUWtn7emr9uX5OxSfdaPCH0YaFx0_X6mW0pwR-2nwZhbB2fnxVVDBLh5a1EECv8OmXRga7v6KFlUp2bxjoOw0sZle8jboPQy9m-wvDHRLXXTatg7WmldwuA2w/s1600-h/Marilyn+Manson.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii9m5fU8Fs_XFvux3c78sUWtn7emr9uX5OxSfdaPCH0YaFx0_X6mW0pwR-2nwZhbB2fnxVVDBLh5a1EECv8OmXRga7v6KFlUp2bxjoOw0sZle8jboPQy9m-wvDHRLXXTatg7WmldwuA2w/s320/Marilyn+Manson.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5088772519706644690" /></a>I don't know what I wanted from the new Marilyn Manson. His first CD in 4 years <i>Eat Me, Drink Me</i> uses imagery of Lewis Carroll and Armin Melwes (the German cannibal who met his willing victim through a website), but evolved from Manson's breakup with burlesque dancer Dita von Treese. This has been the hardest Manson album for me to form an opinion on. It's his catchiest and most personal. But it's also the first that isn't larger than life. It's been interesting that 2007 saw Trent Reznor making <i>Year Zero</i>, a world weary Marilyn Manson album, while Manson makes <i>Eat Me, Drink Me</i>, an inward-reflective Nine Inch Nails album. This one also shares a lot with the new Pumpkins. It feels like a collection of potential theme-based singles which should be about 3 songs longer (though I told you how to make <i>Zeitgeist</i> more complete). I like every song on it but one (in this case that's "The Red Carpet Grave"). There are only 2 musicians who play on it. And Manson once said that Billy Corgan should wear a yellow shirt with a black zigzag and he'd look just like Charlie Brown. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDoF5dfj8SDjoXodweSmZKPf_tSMecIA-1aN5Uqd9T_tTVsa25mUvYqJcXpogiWiuNevKGvHqaC2jkL7ociwo59ragc425ZiFEd6P3D3m3rX0wGZ7yDx5zjzpbHiUWc1s2YRnoE80HkrE/s1600-h/charlie_brown.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDoF5dfj8SDjoXodweSmZKPf_tSMecIA-1aN5Uqd9T_tTVsa25mUvYqJcXpogiWiuNevKGvHqaC2jkL7ociwo59ragc425ZiFEd6P3D3m3rX0wGZ7yDx5zjzpbHiUWc1s2YRnoE80HkrE/s320/charlie_brown.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5088772768814747874" /></a><br /><br />Music critics have not been kind to Manson, or Cornell, or the Pumpkins this year. They'll take Patton, I suspect because they're afraid of his listeners. Music criticism is even more fashion-centric than movie criticism. Basically, it works like this: If your band is in vogue, you're cool. If you're last week's news, sorry. If, however, you're last week's news but can now be seen as ironic or heavily nostalgic (worthy of some renaissance), you're in luck. The monopoly of opinion from music reviews infiltrates to serious music buyers. Pitchfork (www.pitchforkmedia.com) is the worst for this. Beyond the site's predictability, elitism, and extreme whiteness, it became a giant force in indie music as soon as it got rid of its Reader Mail page--a very calculated move. Now there's no way for readers to respond, except in blogs and unrelated sites. Pitchfork is accepted as the unchallenged voice of authority.<br /><br />Fashionability informs critics too much (it happens with movie critics as well, but in a different way), because the new CDs by Queens of the Stone Age, The White Stripes and Bad Brains aren't really that interesting.<br /><br /> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHET5CLi_9L5Qqiz2aYhwNoO43hP1-SoXV9yhDJygrn4d65UlfA1nGfa1E8GNt09n4wRfhYbOcq8y30k038po6MY83AZTI9PN0yR4xRXuG4fN7gbewLIHL3HiR5ZrYbg2ggULeZnQb6uQ/s1600-h/2007_05_19t210020_450x419_us_stripes.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHET5CLi_9L5Qqiz2aYhwNoO43hP1-SoXV9yhDJygrn4d65UlfA1nGfa1E8GNt09n4wRfhYbOcq8y30k038po6MY83AZTI9PN0yR4xRXuG4fN7gbewLIHL3HiR5ZrYbg2ggULeZnQb6uQ/s320/2007_05_19t210020_450x419_us_stripes.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5088773829671670002" /></a>I don't have much to say about Queens' <i>Era Vulgaris</i>. I've heard it. I'm fine with it. So I'll start with the Stripes album <i>Icky Thump</i>. It's good. But it's exactly as good as you expect it to be before you hear it. It's 13 new songs by The White Stripes. Because this is an extremely likeable rock band, the title track, "Rag and Bone," "Catch Hell Blues" and "I'm Slowly Turning Into You" know how to kick it without watering down their gut crunching heavy joy. But it's less interesting a collection than 2005's minimalist <i>Get Behind Me Satan</i>, and the CD mastering is awful.<br /><br />The White Stripes are becoming a reliable confort band like The Ramones. The world turns thousands of times, and they're <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgirfHSPRuLMhnOZUffOeGqLSO6lkjbmzCACheWfBNq_miz_cWjFIXjoT5S_q4A_T0zALfQYDoeFHj2XEOQ0Yktgq67QEXXExKyaZcDpc7NGzvfZCNN8NV48cikUwv0QtofTodHLcuIxb4/s1600-h/IckyThump.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgirfHSPRuLMhnOZUffOeGqLSO6lkjbmzCACheWfBNq_miz_cWjFIXjoT5S_q4A_T0zALfQYDoeFHj2XEOQ0Yktgq67QEXXExKyaZcDpc7NGzvfZCNN8NV48cikUwv0QtofTodHLcuIxb4/s320/IckyThump.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5088774040125067522" /></a>still the same White Stripes. I hope they don't die like The Ramones, though--they broke their fan contract when that happened. Jack and Meg White have real stage presence too. I like how when Meg plays drums she wears an expression like she's drifting to a far off place while thinking about Tori Amos lyrics. <br /><br />It's saying something though that The White Stripes best song, "We're Going to Be Friends" off <i>White Blood Cells</i> is one of their least typical. The simplicity of that song belies its genius. It's a song about school and friendship without a trace of cynicism, told from the perspective of a kid. Not a teenager, 12, or 10 year-old, but a 5 year-old! Think about how fucking ambitious that is in a song intended for adult listeners. It's at once the band's happiest and saddest song, because it puts our own jaded views in perspective. Without being sappy, it's purely emotional--a connective feeling to a part of life we've all lived, that's inherently a part of us, but few of us ever think about in any detail. That's the eye-opening feeling I'd like to get from The White Stripes again before rushing to call each of their records their best in years.<br /><br />People are obviously so excited there's a new Bad Brains out that they're happy to call it the best since 1986's <i>I Against I</i>. Hardly. I wouldn't even necessarily proclaim the new <i>Build a Nation</i> better than <i>God of Love</i>. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_4T4RUXonNr_ALVTT3a7AvdORjhC7ZEAReJnNTgBuJpAq6JMcQtxrIbdCGszRGRAyjWEo4WGMEbYED2ZY4WJwka2OsTmJ6btNpMgpN1GuRvTx_8SFxJi-ybnzJOsbta4YErX-9QAG1cc/s1600-h/hr-bad-brains.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_4T4RUXonNr_ALVTT3a7AvdORjhC7ZEAReJnNTgBuJpAq6JMcQtxrIbdCGszRGRAyjWEo4WGMEbYED2ZY4WJwka2OsTmJ6btNpMgpN1GuRvTx_8SFxJi-ybnzJOsbta4YErX-9QAG1cc/s320/hr-bad-brains.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5088774327887876370" /></a><br /><br />Too many of the lyrics consist of a song title repeated ad-infinitum, though the album is quite addictive once you've pressed play. Between listens, I tend to forget how great these guys sound musically here. There's a weak shift in the band's focus on more recent releases that can't be ignored. What makes Bad Brains songs of yore important is that, like Fishbone, they acknowledge the world at its most unjust and then refuse to let it stand in their way. It's an attitude of optimism as a state of defiance. Bad Brains penetrated that with innovative hardcore. The songs on <i>Build a Nation</i> will never affect anyone like "Banned in DC," "Sailin' On," "Pay to Cum," or the rebellious cry of "Never give in" in "At the Movies." Now that vocalist H.R. is only about Jah, so are the songs. Bad Brains must realize, though, that it's a tiny fraction of their audience that seriously gives a shit about Rastafarianism in any major capacity. They speak what they believe, but they don't translate it like they used to. <br /><br />Music is in some ways more personal than movies. You walk around with a song in your head more intimately than how you walk around with a movie in your head. It's purely emotional, in a way where I sometimes find discussing music about as futile as trying to find an intellectual reason for falling in love. But when music I like becomes relevant to others, that's special. It's the connective potential of pop, which is the reason why it's worth caring when bands are "relevant." But they lose that relevance. Something they pick it up again. It's not only the rock stars actions that decide it. It's them, or it's us, or it's the music media telling us what to think.Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-4240709204214655552007-07-17T23:21:00.000-03:002007-07-18T00:22:22.718-03:00The New Sadism postscript<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCcj5D_7WtjdkXGas_ILA3eFzFgNvlSLySXd4VxwN-qhBz88ffd8q4QDMNuEqcJ53FCwpjjMwqdRfDTDv5LMKBax1jevvWJe_AQXWD9G69SMKjwLTPpzB4ueSHWFhlKzUcy9Q364qil9U/s1600-h/photo_04_hires.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCcj5D_7WtjdkXGas_ILA3eFzFgNvlSLySXd4VxwN-qhBz88ffd8q4QDMNuEqcJ53FCwpjjMwqdRfDTDv5LMKBax1jevvWJe_AQXWD9G69SMKjwLTPpzB4ueSHWFhlKzUcy9Q364qil9U/s320/photo_04_hires.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5088360739717140546" /></a><br />Following my writeup on The New Sadism last month, I thought it would be worth posting my review of <i>Captivity</i>. This has been the most notorious of the recent torture-focused horror movies, even before anyone had seen it. Now that about 3 people went to it on its first weekend, it's still the most hated. But I see a clear difference in what's going on in this film than in <i>Saw</i>. Just don't ask me to watch it again. <br /><br />The Review (as written for <i>The Coast</i>):<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9t6AngN5h2vO3QSOhw6YkDlp88RwKE9KnAttOGrI1r3_nvClk-wciV_Rk3nghzXOxR1KWOJntrtHAuTfIv_ZMRCHmait24_ufRIzzJMAzgmJhOW-4kGQIodUYgolc9ilmAupMtjMh_Fw/s1600-h/CaptivityMoviePoster2-325.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9t6AngN5h2vO3QSOhw6YkDlp88RwKE9KnAttOGrI1r3_nvClk-wciV_Rk3nghzXOxR1KWOJntrtHAuTfIv_ZMRCHmait24_ufRIzzJMAzgmJhOW-4kGQIodUYgolc9ilmAupMtjMh_Fw/s320/CaptivityMoviePoster2-325.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5088360945875570770" /></a>Let's assume <i>Captivity</i> is smarter than anybody but its makers recognize. This isn't too outlandish a supposition. <i>Captivity</i> has been the target of scorn for months. Its controversial LA billboards led to numerous op-ed pieces about the state of horror films. The trailer just leaves one puzzling over who'd want to see such a thing. Even with all this hatred lowering expectations, the reality of <i>Captivity</i> is that it's so unpleasant, the few people prone to look for virtues in it either won't go see it or will be too appalled to make the effort. <br /><br /><i>Captivity</i> is a stupid movie made by smart people, meaning it's not as dumb as it looks. Roland Joffe and screenwriter Larry Cohen stage their critique of celebrity-obsession. "You know something is real when you can touch it," is the movie's repeated mantra. Because celebrities are untouchable, that makes them not real, and henceforth "victimless" targets of society's impotent rage. Celebrated New York fashion scenester Jennifer Tree (Elisha Cuthbert) wakes up to find herself trapped in a cellar where she's toyed with through video images, torture devices, and merchandise of herself. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhijiNZtSHRocsWabQFUZ0VTtNzNbqMOlRWpXngmyv68G3u1E0TRAqQUuLeg8eHt-wGG6LNXq7w7RpYDtv-LTZhpjNjHTyohnF842ak1qbqOQE-Q-ghWky1Cye2H6EY8APBqNbzBLYlcJc/s1600-h/photo_16_hires.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhijiNZtSHRocsWabQFUZ0VTtNzNbqMOlRWpXngmyv68G3u1E0TRAqQUuLeg8eHt-wGG6LNXq7w7RpYDtv-LTZhpjNjHTyohnF842ak1qbqOQE-Q-ghWky1Cye2H6EY8APBqNbzBLYlcJc/s320/photo_16_hires.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5088361212163543138" /></a>It's almost a one-woman show, punctuated by a repeated pattern where Jennifer freaks out, and then Joffe breaks the scene with a fade-out. It's agonizing, but appropriately so. The film serves as the third in writer Cohen's Phone Trilogy, following <i>Phone Booth</i> and <i>Cellular</i>. <i>Captivity</i> has Jennifer text messaging her high society friends at the start, only to go crazy in a space without any communicative means. <br /><br />The irony is that <i>Captivity</i> is ABOUT the things it's hated for - a culture that views women as objects, fascination with death and mutilation, turning to the misery of others for our entertainment. When it develops a sly sense of humour in the final half there are even a couple great B-movie shocks. The end plays more honestly as a feminist horror film than <i>Hostel Part II</i>.<br /> <br />If <i>Captivity</i> can't be endorsed, it's because it's cheapened by its most gratuitous gore. When producers caught wind of the controversy the movie was generating, they shot more violence to meet the hype. Scenes of force fed cannibalism and the consumption of battery acid are nasty in any context. Especially when they have none. <br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDsDxmL4XM-2W-WOWeZUDB5Er8UOoa2tRwtkAUtzEfo84muaMVmMZrg1xEyhVvrANzSSUlJD5WWown00tglGoyg83Lsl6ga9HFWUGVrXqBG0to_8AduEIUazBAnWiRtfiESQUXIrEB_Fg/s1600-h/photo_11_hires.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDsDxmL4XM-2W-WOWeZUDB5Er8UOoa2tRwtkAUtzEfo84muaMVmMZrg1xEyhVvrANzSSUlJD5WWown00tglGoyg83Lsl6ga9HFWUGVrXqBG0to_8AduEIUazBAnWiRtfiESQUXIrEB_Fg/s320/photo_11_hires.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5088361418321973362" /></a>Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-49451146758947394322007-07-12T21:01:00.001-03:002007-07-12T21:01:56.608-03:00<embed style="width:400px; height:326px;" id="VideoPlayback" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docId=-4550316923824977388&hl=en-CA" flashvars=""> </embed>Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-5806374806638742892007-06-28T00:53:00.000-03:002007-06-28T03:31:21.102-03:00Your favourite movie hates you!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqGGjYEFYVXck8Czal2bwLB7kk3_eA5YzZScYm3HLgOQ_Mcf96w12T-3XvPawsGGN-o4LEfBAdzKnFXbCpMK2J2f9ehWKFA-DvJei0tsknCZCwt80jSYJjm_ttt4oRx2AfGSWfsRtPAKg/s1600-h/scarface470.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqGGjYEFYVXck8Czal2bwLB7kk3_eA5YzZScYm3HLgOQ_Mcf96w12T-3XvPawsGGN-o4LEfBAdzKnFXbCpMK2J2f9ehWKFA-DvJei0tsknCZCwt80jSYJjm_ttt4oRx2AfGSWfsRtPAKg/s320/scarface470.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5080984087095777426" /></a><br /><br />The amount that I find myself at a frat house party is less and less these days. But <i>Scarface</i> posters haven't left my vision completely. On one level, it's really cool that people who use their mantles to build shrines for emptied beer bottles have such passion for one of Brian De Palma's seminal works of 80s cinema. Yet the love isn't without irony.<br /><br />How <i>Scarface</i> is so misunderstood by so many of its biggest fans is one of life's mysteries.<br /><br />Maybe people just see what they want. They love that Tony Montana rises to the top by not taking no fucking shit. So what if he's a pathetic figure by the end, who's gunned down in his own house after dunking his face in a mountain of llello? Until then he made crime a profitable business. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTz1qi54sX9S8QfBXSPuRiQU5R8hx7-CU0_YP4gcMayjpZHGS-eZ1Qs8ew4P-Di9Mlrv7MtU3VoIvJh9IsxSV2sCkHGjWu6bmI2Vm7Sw-XjT06nhZFB26uvKe0QRTzFyAl1vubfqsxIK4/s1600-h/ScarTonyElvira.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTz1qi54sX9S8QfBXSPuRiQU5R8hx7-CU0_YP4gcMayjpZHGS-eZ1Qs8ew4P-Di9Mlrv7MtU3VoIvJh9IsxSV2sCkHGjWu6bmI2Vm7Sw-XjT06nhZFB26uvKe0QRTzFyAl1vubfqsxIK4/s320/ScarTonyElvira.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5080984349088782498" /></a><br /><br />"<i>This movie's the most closely impactful for out generation. Our generation was really put here with nothing.</i>" <br />- Diddy, on the impact of <i>Scarface</i> in the Def Jam documentary <i>Origins of a Hip-Hop Classic</i>.<br /><br />It's frankly so impossible to miss the message of <i>Scarface</i>, an over-the-top satire of Reagan era excess, that you just have to toss it up to people choosing to look around it. I love this movie. I have a Montana action figure standing on top of <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiud7UNSEl42eZc3EslLibMPyzEbigfcVc5Bm1sxNg7aO4b0rTuaajA2DaWxTa9xPnrEB1i5LNP7EYJ3j_ykymqrgGjriIyr_eWi2ykF0MML3vThPFTKrY4B-WIfAOo6JDALx_3DvD0yJQ/s1600-h/__Scarface_7__Realistic_Figures__12_Per_Case.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiud7UNSEl42eZc3EslLibMPyzEbigfcVc5Bm1sxNg7aO4b0rTuaajA2DaWxTa9xPnrEB1i5LNP7EYJ3j_ykymqrgGjriIyr_eWi2ykF0MML3vThPFTKrY4B-WIfAOo6JDALx_3DvD0yJQ/s320/__Scarface_7__Realistic_Figures__12_Per_Case.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5080984572427081906" /></a>my TV. I admit that its drugs and violence fueled melodrama is completely badass. Those who dislike <i>Scarface</i> don't accept it as a modernized Shakespeare tragedy. It's as quotable as <i>Hamlet</i>. What's scary is how many corrupt entrepreneurs this movie has created. There's not a minute of the film where Montana isn't an asshole.<br /><br />So why the adulation?<br /><br />I blame Oliver Stone. <br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlWQRHKGbES7xmBmCDRyqUvbsPPw-3d27G9cYI5l_jZqHUo3CjgcYTuz2ID93NjXwvOfZ7UuN1FEJbKWdSi4O-SPWQfFz8HlONIbN-DtcY-lpybLMQ_IcnH-qBHYv4O_HgHeENOCOpDMg/s1600-h/stone.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlWQRHKGbES7xmBmCDRyqUvbsPPw-3d27G9cYI5l_jZqHUo3CjgcYTuz2ID93NjXwvOfZ7UuN1FEJbKWdSi4O-SPWQfFz8HlONIbN-DtcY-lpybLMQ_IcnH-qBHYv4O_HgHeENOCOpDMg/s320/stone.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5080987157997394114" /></a><br />There's nothing inherently evil about Stone's script. But the guy has some weird voodoo curse on him that seems to affect his movies like nobody else's. Stone's films are doomed to be most loved by people who (sometimes deliberately) take the completely wrong message from them. I'm not trying to sound smarter than anyone; if there's one thing Stone is not, it's subtle. Critics weren't uncomfortable with <i>Alexander</i> on grounds that it wasn't gay <i>enough</i>.<br /><br />I was recently informed of an attorney who just had a gold bracelet made with the name Gordon Gekko inscribed in it. Gekko is the bigwig stockmarket villain played by Michael Douglas in <i>Wall Street</i>. He's a man who has sold his soul before the movie has even started. His motto is "Greed is Good." He's the Dark Side ruler whose temptations must be resisted by the film's hero. So why does this person think <i>Wall Street</i> shares his philosophy? The movie is opposed to his way of life. <br /><br />Isn't separating the attitudes of characters from the attitudes of the story something people learn about in tenth grade English? <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjywv1Rw1KV79I2dG02Y85eaLVsNIRxY8_r6lWCclk66v-7QkEXUqE6VvuJhKfLGbzPe5AxDfkm5ZmWKvasuj43wBHaaR1ug4hS47CxbqW69mFXQhQ7Pl-Zc0xQjb663V-YyeFqpKrbVfk/s1600-h/killers2.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjywv1Rw1KV79I2dG02Y85eaLVsNIRxY8_r6lWCclk66v-7QkEXUqE6VvuJhKfLGbzPe5AxDfkm5ZmWKvasuj43wBHaaR1ug4hS47CxbqW69mFXQhQ7Pl-Zc0xQjb663V-YyeFqpKrbVfk/s320/killers2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5080987351270922450" /></a>Angus Wallen and Kara Winn were 27 when they killed Brandon Murphy in a murder similar to that of Mallory's mom in <i>Natural Born Killers</i>. Like the 8 other alleged <i>NBK</i>-inspired killers (including Columbine duo Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold), Wallen and Winn must have missed that the movie considers their actions part of the downfall of civilization. This isn't a hidden message either; it's about 115 of <i>Natural Born Killers</i> 120 minutes. And it's as subtle as a sledgehammer. They're paying respect to a movie that despises them. <br /><br />When you look at it, the movies that become common youth obsessions (to the point where when you see its poster you know the beer bottle shrine isn't far away) deal in antisocial themes. If it's not <i>Scarface</i> on that wall, it's <i>A Clockwork Orange</i> or something by Tarantino. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJav0r2rzSv1eZ8lytl2IPSH-stt7blZhm74teIJcFmM0qwpfyRqdQyJ8cR6Q_pxRgbcVFVm6p2ZJ_bDU1T3dJ526xKY0vfrINp3EcP5_xm0i8zyuUG2Tht7xr_3kPsOF8hJ3zESgCsrI/s1600-h/nixon.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJav0r2rzSv1eZ8lytl2IPSH-stt7blZhm74teIJcFmM0qwpfyRqdQyJ8cR6Q_pxRgbcVFVm6p2ZJ_bDU1T3dJ526xKY0vfrINp3EcP5_xm0i8zyuUG2Tht7xr_3kPsOF8hJ3zESgCsrI/s320/nixon.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5080987544544450786" /></a>It would be funny if college age kids chose to idolize different Oliver Stone films. They could post pictures to Facebook of doing bong hits in front of their <i>Nixon</i> posters. "I'm going to university, so I can be a fucked up President too!"<br /><br />The idea of art sometimes opposing its fans always reminds me a little of when Schwarzenegger ordered the execution of The Crips' co-founder Stanley Tookie Williams. Just think about how fucked up that is. As a notorious leader of the South Central LA street gang, it's highly likely that Tookie was a fan of <i>Predator</i>, <i>The Terminator</i> and <i>Commando</i>. And then one day, this guy whose movies Tookie felt a connection with decides he should be dead. <br /><br />Imagine the world's biggest Woody Allen fan. He grew up watching <i>Annie Hall</i>, landed the woman of his dreams by studying <i>Manhattan</i>, and he tends to quote <i>Love and Death</i> in casual conversation. Then one day Allen decides he doesn't like something about this guy, and has the power to kill him. That must be the ultimate betrayal!<br /><br />"<i>Arnie partying with Tookie / Smokin and drinkin till they lose their cookies / Crips are cousins / Bloods are brothers / Family killing one another</i>" - Fishbone, "Party With Saddam" <br /><br />Sometimes a movie will deliberately turn its back on a significant part of its audience. I'm talking about critic hatred here. <br /><br />It manifests in last year's <i>Lady in the Water</i> and in this year's <i>Ratatouille</i>. I don't for a second doubt that M. Night Shyamalan making a critic an antagonist in <i>Lady in the Water</i> is a big factor in that movie's critical thrashing. (Another factor is that critics universally decided it was time to be fed up with Shyamalan--something that's happened to Oliver Stone more than once.)<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfIVntJaBavzHTgIJAUqZFbqJ9doT-T3aZLrDBN84mvi-8KUnk7OhsSExLuaTiROqqjrVDvpyWUcEdUCMPfhsIskEYUJdQ9ArNYZraFE3Wu-LI8adY-seXL1IA8bNOC6y6aqW3TuvRBXY/s1600-h/2752.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfIVntJaBavzHTgIJAUqZFbqJ9doT-T3aZLrDBN84mvi-8KUnk7OhsSExLuaTiROqqjrVDvpyWUcEdUCMPfhsIskEYUJdQ9ArNYZraFE3Wu-LI8adY-seXL1IA8bNOC6y6aqW3TuvRBXY/s320/2752.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5080990078575155442" /></a>I didn't react negatively to Bob Balaban's portrait of a know-it-all movie critic in <i>Lady in the Water</i> for several reasons: 1) I'm able to see the humour in this job. 2) I don't identify much with most other critics, and have no aspiration to speak for the "critical communty." 3) There really are plenty of critics like the one Balaban plays, and they deserve to be called on it. Shyamalan has a thin skin, but there you go.<br /><br /><i>Ratatouille</i> is a little stranger. Pixar movies pre-<i>Cars</i> have only ever gotten glowing reviews. In this case, it's a food critic named Anton Ego, but the general swipes would still apply. Writer Brad Bird includes a bit of voiceover dialogue where the critic admits that it's easier to destroy than to create, or such bullshit. And that his work will never be as important as the stuff he's tearing down. I wish filmmakers would acknowledge that they're critics too. Art is a commentary on life. And criticism is a commentary on art. Only the medium is different.<br /><br />Still, I can't really take offense at <i>Ratatouille</i>. The movie's pretty great, and the other characters don't escape such exaggerations either. But you should see this food critic's mansion. Jesus! How much do these jobs pay in France, and why don't I live there? <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo-PNMc0GeXKrpa2Y28mNjBlY7ykUVO3TbQ0_WUBv4_zE7gd0yKaKwXf3vcOE8Z3BBavjPZOIBno-iM57dx2OImHcyLtK3fSMJOsdYnKDhnyc7AOU95Yr1ZVqhXsum1Uo2UZU7DM0yz8U/s1600-h/ratatouille.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo-PNMc0GeXKrpa2Y28mNjBlY7ykUVO3TbQ0_WUBv4_zE7gd0yKaKwXf3vcOE8Z3BBavjPZOIBno-iM57dx2OImHcyLtK3fSMJOsdYnKDhnyc7AOU95Yr1ZVqhXsum1Uo2UZU7DM0yz8U/s320/ratatouille.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5080990284733585666" /></a>Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-35336977540642811222007-06-07T11:32:00.000-03:002015-10-26T17:18:19.730-03:00The New Sadism"Did you invent the term 'torture porn'?," my friend Phil asked me. <br />
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This question was posed around the time of last Fall's release of <i>Saw III</i>, and 'torture porn' was becoming a common internet term for horror movies (often in the mainstream) that are increasingly focused on their protagonists' mutilation.<br />
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"I don't think so," I answered. But thinking about it now, maybe in an offhand way I did. I addressed the issue in my early 2002 review of <i>Final Destination 2</i>--probably the most negative review that movie got. And several months later, in a mid-year report article, I refer to said film as "death porn." My <i>Saw II</i> review was among the very first to hit the net, and there my Rotten Tomatoes headline quote is, "Real porn is more dignified than this."<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTVl5lLxY2VusGpoktQCLVxoa_2KwlnFOVCyEZaDKBikiVO4_p5bMChCcbwWOM0dx-jmkUHNBIbMQxuHeIz5O07JpassP7QS2zNQZUBg4RF4BxDrt66LT69it-9A0nDx_1-a1pawxbow0/s1600-h/saw_II.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5073410438793911298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTVl5lLxY2VusGpoktQCLVxoa_2KwlnFOVCyEZaDKBikiVO4_p5bMChCcbwWOM0dx-jmkUHNBIbMQxuHeIz5O07JpassP7QS2zNQZUBg4RF4BxDrt66LT69it-9A0nDx_1-a1pawxbow0/s320/saw_II.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; margin: 0 0 10px 10px;" /></a><br />
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I can't take direct responsibility for everyone on the Ain't It Cool talkbacks adding 'torture porn' to their lexicon. <br />
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Besides, I prefer branding these movies with the term "The New Sadism." <br />
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The New Sadism implicates the audience's culpability in these films' attitude in ways that Torture Porn does not. The New Sadism is an overground movement. Torture Porn sounds like its locked in the basement dungeon of a backalley video store. The New Sadism lets you see graphic and prolonged disembowlings and castrations at a mall multiplex. You can watch them in an audience with 14 year olds still standing beneath Rihanna's Umberella-ella-ella-eh-eh. <br />
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An easy mistake is to dismiss all these films outright. The New Sadism is the horror movie equivalent of Nu-Metal (which was big at the turn-of-the-millenium). It's seen by many as a perversion of a genre's purity, and by others as a genre at its most accessibly hardcore. The bottomline is that, even at a low playing field, some of these movies are better than others. The people who are most militant and unwavering in their dismissal of horror movies are always the ones who never watch them.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggXdJCPRr31cg8IQdQCzJw9V1l4bAxcKcfl2r95tweSD-V6SbZZ6qYjC4BuPhYHzg-FRcfWx0PXLw3xqrOg4ZxjyF8Uw0JYUkmQRJS59IyKRB-cHA3eIok_mqlkXTc9dAuYOGS7kTijOI/s1600-h/photo_02.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5073411628499852338" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggXdJCPRr31cg8IQdQCzJw9V1l4bAxcKcfl2r95tweSD-V6SbZZ6qYjC4BuPhYHzg-FRcfWx0PXLw3xqrOg4ZxjyF8Uw0JYUkmQRJS59IyKRB-cHA3eIok_mqlkXTc9dAuYOGS7kTijOI/s320/photo_02.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; margin: 0 0 10px 10px;" /></a><br />
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But I can say that, as a trend, I don't like The New Sadism.<br />
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It's the dominant movement in horror movies right now--just ahead of the Japanese People Are Scared of Mute Ghost Children genre. <br />
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Here's how it happened:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE3eNlTjW1LA-3E4vqrWqc8l361qPsAEl81SsvL1pMkBTRUu_nGXOxPO7PW5a4N6RNGbl20mo7oSNvS5Ll9xD6QSmc6bx6xpscN0cqqc9rRwpHZFXC6YYkJlr7zNfiMrpT8PIy4QAQIyA/s1600-h/Scream_movie_poster.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5073410752326523922" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE3eNlTjW1LA-3E4vqrWqc8l361qPsAEl81SsvL1pMkBTRUu_nGXOxPO7PW5a4N6RNGbl20mo7oSNvS5Ll9xD6QSmc6bx6xpscN0cqqc9rRwpHZFXC6YYkJlr7zNfiMrpT8PIy4QAQIyA/s320/Scream_movie_poster.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0 10px 10px 0;" /></a>In Christmas 1996, Wes Craven's <i>Scream</i> opened. It grossed $100 million and reignited popular interest in horror films. <i>Scream</i> is a postmodern take on the teen slasher films of the 70s and 80s, given a very hip sensibility. It's hard for many to admit now, but 10 years ago <i>Scream</i> was seen as enormously cool. (Christmas 96 rocked for mainstream counterprogramming. We also got <i>Mars Attacks!</i> and <i>Beavis and Butt-head Do America</i>.)<br />
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<i>Scream</i> had so much crossover appeal because it's a feminized horror movie (more on that in a bit.) It was about 10 times as smart as it needed to be, thanks largely to a script by newcomer Kevin Williamson. It made stars Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox and Drew Barrymore seem cool. It spoke to teenagers, as well as people who just love slasher movies. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrCOBHYvv0bRCezLzTMupqemts5Q45Guf-ZuWqDOheMKX3bgn8vj2L8Qz0a7Ol4fXHXOgt7yrH-T5ugBO-Bvv9xU3SOffMweV5cY9FpbhHS6zL7zi-J6L1XK4HKwXIS87RF_xI7z3f4EU/s1600-h/scream2.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5073411091628940322" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrCOBHYvv0bRCezLzTMupqemts5Q45Guf-ZuWqDOheMKX3bgn8vj2L8Qz0a7Ol4fXHXOgt7yrH-T5ugBO-Bvv9xU3SOffMweV5cY9FpbhHS6zL7zi-J6L1XK4HKwXIS87RF_xI7z3f4EU/s320/scream2.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0 10px 10px 0;" /></a>As a 17 year old who was into horror (and most other genres), I was obsessed with <i>Scream</i> for a while. In my years at high school it was (barring <i>Kids</i> and <i>Romeo and Juliet</i>) one of only two teen movies released in that whole period. The other was <i>Clueless</i>, which I never cared about.<br />
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Inevitably, other movies tried to cash-in. The forgettable <i>Urban Legend</i> and its even more forgettable sequel <i>Urban Legends: Final Cut</i> followed. The market looked right for another Chucky movie. We got <i>Wes Craven Presents Wishmaster</i>, <i>Disturbing Behavior</i>, <i>Halloween H20</i>, and <i>The Faculty</i>. <br />
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The most popular of these late-90s follow-ups, besides the good but overstuffed <i>Scream 2</i>, was <i>I Know What You Did Last Summer</i>. That movie's pedigree was due to several factors. For one, it brought <i>Scream</i> scribe Williamson back. I don't know what's since happened to that guy. He was in some ways the horror version of John Hughes. The first two seasons of <i>Dawson's Creek</i> are also better than you think. <i>I Know What You Did Last Summer</i> has one of the fucking best horror movie titles ever. Conversely, its sequel <i>I Still Know What You Did Last Summer</i> has one of the worst. But Williamson's typical dignity for his teenage characters was missing in <i>I Know What You Did</i>. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFt872gqzb4Mr0GlTpGt5FB9rUZzB7XYHeX3rRf7FKVRViyTkSoVWssmct1vPwbJCGHqWMmG81HySNS9ZUUOzFK7MlDi3i_pZOsSEauOVVWaPBM3xVUtW97BVWDMn5cQ8hTjBEN4-JUS4/s1600-h/i-know-what-you-did-last-summer-1-131.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5073411967802268738" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFt872gqzb4Mr0GlTpGt5FB9rUZzB7XYHeX3rRf7FKVRViyTkSoVWssmct1vPwbJCGHqWMmG81HySNS9ZUUOzFK7MlDi3i_pZOsSEauOVVWaPBM3xVUtW97BVWDMn5cQ8hTjBEN4-JUS4/s320/i-know-what-you-did-last-summer-1-131.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; margin: 0 0 10px 10px;" /></a>These kids were sort of dispicable. And the intriguing premise, of four youths trying to bury the secret of a man they accidentally killed, is too slickly directed by Jim Gillespie. It looks beautiful, but it needs a stripped down grit.<br />
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The teen horror phase ended around the time of 2001's <i>Valentine</i>. Judging by the voices on the Internet back then, nobody wanted it back. These movies, which were most often not that good, were derided for casting TV stars, occasionally getting PG-13 ratings, and often wussing out from being truly violent. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtaFzU5egn96Mx2qXSYXRCPKgoP5jwJUrSKKihj8FyeDFizrRLZHElyaTzPd9z49SVady62EHbzbOp8E6qzmO7pGisdyAL45iZPAtJZD7Q9JQhMo9Fanmo6hCIIitzsfsnmDh95K-Bhco/s1600-h/35279-16.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5073419075973143778" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtaFzU5egn96Mx2qXSYXRCPKgoP5jwJUrSKKihj8FyeDFizrRLZHElyaTzPd9z49SVady62EHbzbOp8E6qzmO7pGisdyAL45iZPAtJZD7Q9JQhMo9Fanmo6hCIIitzsfsnmDh95K-Bhco/s320/35279-16.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0 10px 10px 0;" /></a><br />
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Enter The New Sadism.<br />
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I pick <i>Final Destination 2</i> as the transitional movie between the teen and sadist subgenres. The original <i>Final Destination</i>, of which I'm a big fan, places squarely in the teen horror genre. <br />
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The major difference goes back to the issue of <i>Scream</i>'s feminization. In <i>Scream</i>, Sidney's (Neve Campbell) fight for survival is a mirror of her personal struggles. Following her mother's murder, she wants life to leave her alone. The ghostface killer isn't allowing that to happen. The series is about a character's blossoming, with the horror element mirroring that story. There's a touching innocence to <i>Scream</i> if you watch it today. It's really great.<br />
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But it's actually typical of most slasher films before it and of its time, in that it's primarily concerned with survival. These movies are about claiming one's dignity. We want Jamie Lee Curtis to beat the Boogeyman in <i>Halloween</i>. We want to see the special needs kids vanquish Freddy Krueger in <i>A Nightmare on Elm St. 3: Dream Warriors</i>. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrEWiDBhMbs1BZPpPW-D8HIoApKDvJRvYQP5tI-NqBasswX6cXR-UunJf4TohkKJqpwXUlEjG7vLBwP7TjQcin2VDSFbIiakq_3v-q_Bt6xIIcRwmzaylRMD9_2vbxqwhlBMewmnpOCI4/s1600-h/finaldestination3biga.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5073415867632573602" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrEWiDBhMbs1BZPpPW-D8HIoApKDvJRvYQP5tI-NqBasswX6cXR-UunJf4TohkKJqpwXUlEjG7vLBwP7TjQcin2VDSFbIiakq_3v-q_Bt6xIIcRwmzaylRMD9_2vbxqwhlBMewmnpOCI4/s320/finaldestination3biga.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; margin: 0 0 10px 10px;" /></a>The New Sadism doesn't care about survival, only execution. As horror movies become more popular (Craven speaks on the Nightmare DVD boxed set about how he'd mainly see kids who didn't fit any mold at his movies on opening night), the formative process of horror movies is reversed. It's a countdown to extinction. The bloodier, the better. <br />
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What this means is that horror movies have lost their appeal as an empathetic outsider pop art--something detractors never understood about them anyway. In the 2005 remake of <i>House of Wax</i>, glamourous young stars Elisha Cuthbert, Chad Michael Murray and Paris Hilton are convinced that all backwoods people are crazy imbred hillbillies. At the end, it's revealed the deformed redneck trying to kill them was abused during childhood. Fear those who are different than you, especially if their lives have been harder. That means they will kill you.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglcTHEO7qGNJaj4peg9dcSLK-SxlZ3L9W85Ap_4vczO7Aj2ySaDDJ_WA1j0RpK9aUQ0_-0Oo_QlNqDg-CxqB3YX6I65mK9drrMhJ5sGQzpeyDXDr8BrJP9xZw7yNXojZ-usSJe_iLdZ3k/s1600-h/wax2.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5073412663586970722" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglcTHEO7qGNJaj4peg9dcSLK-SxlZ3L9W85Ap_4vczO7Aj2ySaDDJ_WA1j0RpK9aUQ0_-0Oo_QlNqDg-CxqB3YX6I65mK9drrMhJ5sGQzpeyDXDr8BrJP9xZw7yNXojZ-usSJe_iLdZ3k/s320/wax2.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0 10px 10px 0;" /></a><br />
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The New Sadism is typically about regular people caught in an animalistic land of primative psychopaths. It's not about who's gonna live, it's about how they'll die. This was the basis of Rob Zombie's <i>House of 1000 Corpses</i>, which was celebrated by some as the antidote to years of <i>Scream</i>-wrought horror. It was also the focus of Marcus Nispel's corrupt remake of <i>The Texas Chainsaw Massacre</i>, <i>Wolf Creek</i>, <i>Hostel</i>, <i>The Hills Have Eyes</i> remake, <i>Turistas</i> and <i>Severance</i>.<br />
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<i>Saw II</i> was the point where I really objected. The increasing nihilism of these movies was getting defended as keeping with the spirit of horror movies. That is total bullshit. Horror got overtaken by people who like the genre far more than they understand it. The attraction to wanting to make these films is simple. If you're studying film craft, it's easier to detect and practice the overt style of horror sequences than other genres, which are often less pronounced. Horror gives newcomer directors a chance to get noticed by showing how "uncompromising" they are. It's why there are now almost as many zombie movies coming from film students as the typical film school projects about suicide and drugs. It's why <i>Saw II</i>, <i>Hostel</i> and <i>Turistas</i> feel like a pissing contest between Darren Lynn Bousman, Eli Roth and John Stockwell, each out to prove which of them is the most hardcore.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhekiwKPln6VUgBufBC0_bin48w8awLF-5soH-uBnvSZQ9dfLYURV1zhop3Mb3ahKtUvEAtdPh5kAqz8hB3Uf1fqcxVAZ-bPdPZ455eLhrcZklwDDx5l82LejTeo3Vv8eKa-QX9gPJuR80/s1600-h/tcm_CN-068-23-F.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5073413853292911730" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhekiwKPln6VUgBufBC0_bin48w8awLF-5soH-uBnvSZQ9dfLYURV1zhop3Mb3ahKtUvEAtdPh5kAqz8hB3Uf1fqcxVAZ-bPdPZ455eLhrcZklwDDx5l82LejTeo3Vv8eKa-QX9gPJuR80/s320/tcm_CN-068-23-F.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0 10px 10px 0;" /></a><br />
The thing defenders of The New Sadism don't grasp about some detractors is that the objection is not about the level of violence in a film. It's 2007. I can take it. I'm used to it. I've imagined far worse. What offends is a filmmaker's <i>attitude</i> about violence. The greatest human plague facing us today is the spread of evil. Everybody feels this. Witnessing audiences laugh as a boy gets crushed into a pancake by a plate of glass in <i>Final Destination 2</i>, or cheer as Nispel's camera pulls out of a gunshot head-wound in <i>TCM03</i> is a way of coping with this vulnerability. Laughing at death is a way of proving you're above it. Not caring about things is always easier.<br />
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But a good horror film, like any worthwhile movie, has to connect us to the world (if not to ourselves) to have significant value. The other route is to tune out--to fetishize cruelty. The popularity of the first few episodes on a season of <i>American Idol</i> work this way. Contestants make fools of themselves publically and the shallow viewer finds self-worth in their humiliation. It's that simple. <i>Jackass</i> defenders frequently bring up that the stars are willingly hurting only themselves. This is true. But the audience's relation to that show is no different than if they were hurting others. Pleasure is derived from seeing people on the screen in pain. It's sadistic either way.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnWt2Ge8blw178E7e6cesYBAiQzezEfOUX80fw-Ua3Vu9mlY3jQdzsZ5FPEpG3jJtU94tNia4xc0xSPJY5YtFQlbBbuoRbWcDmrItvcxA8B2mPO1bp6mI-CS1wkTQ5qovra3KMG_d9eC0/s1600-h/070416_sanjaya_vmed_10a.widec.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5073417912037006546" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnWt2Ge8blw178E7e6cesYBAiQzezEfOUX80fw-Ua3Vu9mlY3jQdzsZ5FPEpG3jJtU94tNia4xc0xSPJY5YtFQlbBbuoRbWcDmrItvcxA8B2mPO1bp6mI-CS1wkTQ5qovra3KMG_d9eC0/s320/070416_sanjaya_vmed_10a.widec.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; margin: 0 0 10px 10px;" /></a><br />
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My favourite defense of movies in The New Sadism (favourite, as in the stupidest) is common among IMDb message board users. "If you don't like it, don't watch it." <br />
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Great. And if I don't like that there's a war in Iraq, the solution is that I don't watch the news. <br />
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Another common response on The New Sadism's behalf is that society has always objected to horror movies, and this is no different. <br />
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This is compelling, but not really true.<br />
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Controversy, and in some cases outrage, has accompanied horror movies before. The difference is that the ones these proponents are talking about never had much popular cultural impact. Maybe that shouldn't make a difference, but it does.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggnhcrfCq2v6QnmYpmz6p35hZNq2CUJNeJ3et5GCQTkIgBkvWQFEE55bzuDPtyMFD72MrJDTUP99srbO1JqkAEElV-iUZuvrkKOIlaoUhIU6zYmglArLu_omYIdzdbOKxxcE3fxPc6-X8/s1600-h/ds27.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5073414574847417474" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggnhcrfCq2v6QnmYpmz6p35hZNq2CUJNeJ3et5GCQTkIgBkvWQFEE55bzuDPtyMFD72MrJDTUP99srbO1JqkAEElV-iUZuvrkKOIlaoUhIU6zYmglArLu_omYIdzdbOKxxcE3fxPc6-X8/s320/ds27.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; margin: 0 0 10px 10px;" /></a><br />
1972's <i>The Last House on the Left</i> and its more exploitative 1977 retread <i>I Spit on Your Grave</i> played in drive-ins and seedy urban areas. They were niche films. Their appeal is precisely that they weren't in synch with the standards of dominant culture. They were a reaction to it. That's why those movies were important. They didn't fit the sanctioned template. They felt defiant, and that made them political.<br />
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Sure, there's a satiric element to <i>Hostel</i>. It's a cheeky/gruesome take on American perception of foreign cultures. But <i>Hostel</i>'s popularity amongst the under 35 demographic means that it is part of dominant American culture. It no longer has a defiant value. <i>Saw II</i> counters what <i>Dawn of the Dead</i> and <i>The Last House on the Left</i> meant by pitching its extreme nature as something institutional and corrupt. That shit is so basic to me. The desire to see unorthodox cult movies infiltrate the ultramainstream is just insane.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWsk-1JDKm4BWfdSjz0uj_Fuj33rK7ui7cDU7pZ0rH0fuLcGMrNK2cUEJVgcZxY55_604MGCws6L2b-3ktqoXn285B5drf1d1_fXAk-9je-oY9i62WvFH5719yeSeIZlq0AMQq4Aiu-jI/s1600-h/hills-have-eyes-the-20060228114348709-000.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5073414884085062802" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWsk-1JDKm4BWfdSjz0uj_Fuj33rK7ui7cDU7pZ0rH0fuLcGMrNK2cUEJVgcZxY55_604MGCws6L2b-3ktqoXn285B5drf1d1_fXAk-9je-oY9i62WvFH5719yeSeIZlq0AMQq4Aiu-jI/s320/hills-have-eyes-the-20060228114348709-000.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0 10px 10px 0;" /></a>The New Sadism isn't necessarily a curse. Though perhaps the most brutal entry in the subgenre, I thought Alexander Aja's remake of <i>The Hills Have Eyes</i> was terrific. It was imagined in vivid visual terms, its violence was never pacifying, and it had moral and social context. Aja really knows what he's doing, and that's a crucial difference. Those who doubt he's the most talented new horror director need to look at this thing again.<br />
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Otherwise, hey, <i>Hostel Part II</i> opens tomorrow. <br />
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I've said all this as somebody who cares about the horror genre enough to believe it's worth more. When you're yelling "Awesome!" at a guy cutting off his own foot in <i>Saw</i>, what exactly are you rebelling against?Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-91945126708133827112007-05-31T00:28:00.000-03:002007-06-02T13:38:16.877-03:00WRONG!, Parts I and IIEvery time I'm at the multiplex these days, I get an uneasy feeling. I wasn't sure why at first, but I've since discovered that the culprit is the poster for the new Judd Apatow comedy <i>Knocked Up</i>. <br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibL9nSlQJWwslFAa9OlwfxsGY9m-pmTwb61lCyUjcH_8RY0cjhznUCKt7eCxYFQtQ0D3eHzar9T-gvcu_ktDR0PGPAm0R9dz7bw4TbrDOVBMurZJ-CxQ1I9901xaWEo0hW108sVYPqzaU/s1600-h/knocked_up.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibL9nSlQJWwslFAa9OlwfxsGY9m-pmTwb61lCyUjcH_8RY0cjhznUCKt7eCxYFQtQ0D3eHzar9T-gvcu_ktDR0PGPAm0R9dz7bw4TbrDOVBMurZJ-CxQ1I9901xaWEo0hW108sVYPqzaU/s320/knocked_up.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070581382864023746" /></a><br />It looks pretty benign at first. But as the great philosopher Kevin Spacey once taught us, look closer. See it now. Read the tagline. This movie is assuming that I'm a woman. <br /><br />Ideally, this shouldn't be a problem. The film theorist Laura Mulvey has reasoned that it is always unquestioningly assumed that a movie's audience is male. So maybe it's a breakthrough whenever a poster decides to target the overlooked remaining 51% of the population.<br /><br />Except, it's not that simple either. Not only is <i>Knocked Up</i> assuming I'm female, it presumes I'm the kind of female who would never give Seth Rogan the time of day. Despite not really relating to Rogan in any overwhelming way, my oversensitive empathetic side took over. I had to voice my unreasonable complaint on the IMDb message boards... as a character who isn't myself, of course.<br /><br /><i>BOYCOTT!! - Offensive Poster!<br /><br />The poster for the new movie KNOCKED UP asks the question, “What if this guy got you pregnant?” Below the question is a picture of the star Seth Rogan’s face.<br /><br />I am offended by this for 2 reasons. <br /><br />1) It is assuming that I am a woman. <br /><br />And 2) I look exactly like the guy on this poster.<br /><br />This is very frustrating since it gives the general public the impression that I have not laid pipe plenty of times.<br /><br />Now, I don’t look exactly like Seth Rogan does normally. I saw him in the movie DONNIE DARKO, and he did not look totally like me there. But on this poster, where he strikes the Morgan Spurlock-minus-fries-in-his-mouth pose, well, that DOES look <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiMDjzMlFfDDRAbryoQykC-CshyFrcAhzi7yGT-g1tK7n6gIuzaVdoMMSa5ZC7196YZw4AFTMqKueCaxGkePdGL4-8QFV0hGjWM98t7jGLsc5P6uB_iCPU98yvBTeV7SM-qtQEX2JaLHw/s1600-h/images.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiMDjzMlFfDDRAbryoQykC-CshyFrcAhzi7yGT-g1tK7n6gIuzaVdoMMSa5ZC7196YZw4AFTMqKueCaxGkePdGL4-8QFV0hGjWM98t7jGLsc5P6uB_iCPU98yvBTeV7SM-qtQEX2JaLHw/s320/images.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070581885375197394" /></a>like me. I have the same golden curly hair, halfway-bug-eyed look, confused eyebrow pose, mouth, and other less descript general facial characteristics, although I just shaved. My friends make fun of me every time we walk past this stupid poster to get a latenight milkshake. Every time we walk by a fine looking lady, someone in my crew will say, “Hey, what if Gord got you pregnant?” Last night, I even punched my buddy Dave for carrying on with this $&!#. <br /><br />I want to be very clear on this: Just because I look like that guy on the poster doesn’t mean that girls don’t want to have sex with me. I have given the beef injection to women who are prettier than Katherine Heigl. <br /><br />There was a promo for this movie before THE INVISIBLE, talking to its stars. When Ms. Heigl came on she said that the premise is every girl’s nightmare. That’s fatuous! I know girls like Ms. Heigl and they only want guys who look like Mark Paul Gosseler, so what could she even know about what it means to be another satisfied customer!? <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNzzTlN3lTE9nGTTnuqR0071CoXMAn39KmBVGxTYGf6YyEcBbZKtzX7-oHRLaFvRzI3GS3SlyR_gQIIw0NQlEU2ntyTeuio3A3WMSmUQC1RUHT22xMUSSeo48U7FTiXn1JJ8NPdgbNU-c/s1600-h/katherineheigl012zb.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNzzTlN3lTE9nGTTnuqR0071CoXMAn39KmBVGxTYGf6YyEcBbZKtzX7-oHRLaFvRzI3GS3SlyR_gQIIw0NQlEU2ntyTeuio3A3WMSmUQC1RUHT22xMUSSeo48U7FTiXn1JJ8NPdgbNU-c/s320/katherineheigl012zb.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070584114463224034" /></a><br /><br />Frankly, I have had something against this chick ever since I saw her on Leno promoting the Gerard Depardieu epic MY FATHER THE HERO, where she said that she likes to toilet paper peoples’ houses on Halloween. Somebody should let her know that someone has to clean that $&!# up!<br /><br />In conclusion, please boycott this movie! It is propaganda telling people not to have sex with me.<br /><br />Gord<br /></i><br /> <br />Now, in reality I don't look anything like Seth Rogan. I'm really a very masculine amalgam of the more flattering physical qualities held by Keanu Reeves, Chris Cornell, Anna Kournikova and The Rock. For all I know, <i> Knocked Up</i> could be great (I haven't seen it yet.) It's just that the motivation behind this ad is very clear, and fairly unimaginative. <i>Knocked Up</i> is attempting to market itself to a female audience who wouldn't typically go for a fraternal ribald sex comedy--the kind of cross-over effort the Farrelly Brothers achieved in <i>There's Something About Mary</i>.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ_NOeIEBeA8FU-agw20uxkJxnZeZx14RDXQT77_93c-64jFWt1BDsCryc0WnfYDOqwGjdxBxgtkETnnJVf3Liufy10Wpp2BkSvFZq64yz_8IiS-WKpSegHEjPjdBjZfMiD08EyHHgZPQ/s1600-h/mponcouch.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ_NOeIEBeA8FU-agw20uxkJxnZeZx14RDXQT77_93c-64jFWt1BDsCryc0WnfYDOqwGjdxBxgtkETnnJVf3Liufy10Wpp2BkSvFZq64yz_8IiS-WKpSegHEjPjdBjZfMiD08EyHHgZPQ/s320/mponcouch.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070584870377468146" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFYAhSoEVqkBCnb_MjeyIgpCdqhijk2i2GwUggJwRnzzIWebgnl1H5i_7eNhBXAzQzuBrKedL-_lVp74dcf3S4z5-cloBPmP_jaCk7n3MZNxQE1f52UtFrzsoSwtUDgAYl9g5lwebUoh8/s1600-h/(SC)The_Rock_Photo.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFYAhSoEVqkBCnb_MjeyIgpCdqhijk2i2GwUggJwRnzzIWebgnl1H5i_7eNhBXAzQzuBrKedL-_lVp74dcf3S4z5-cloBPmP_jaCk7n3MZNxQE1f52UtFrzsoSwtUDgAYl9g5lwebUoh8/s320/(SC)The_Rock_Photo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070585475967856898" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />But mostly, I just have the need to point out that THIS POSTER IS WRONG. By addressing its reader, even if its question is rhetorical, it is mildly discomforting. I've seen <i>Minority Report</i>; I know it's a bad future when ads start talking to me. And by misguessing my sex, I have an urge to pretend I'm insulted.<br /><br />************<br /><br />There's a new reality show on Fox this summer called <i>On the Lot</i>. It's basically <i>American Idol</i> with aspiring directors competing for a film deal. This marks a crucial difference with the other show for one reason. Beyond the monetary potential, the appeal of being the next American Idol is the possibility of a multitude of complete strangers masturbating to the idea of you. Filmmakers are less sexually lusted over than singers, but movies themselves are pure sex. That means that the people on <i>On the Lot</i> are in love with the idea of people getting off on their product rather than on them themselves.<br /><br />That's really everything you'll ever need to know about movies. But I'll keep going anyway.<br /><br />We feel (provided we possess a moral base) more comfortable judging the worth of movies than the worth of entertainers. This is because movies are products and not people, so any insult that comes back to a person is indirect. Or the blame is at least partitioned among a group of people. This is why when the judges on <i>On the Lot</i> don't like a movie, they always point out that the director is still talented without sounding like they're lying. A bad movie is just one instance of bad sex. Everyone feels entitled to say so, yet many haven't really investigated that opinion. More often critics just rely on cliches. <i>On the Lot</i> is proof of this. <br /><br />On the second episode to air, judge Brett Ratner (director of the <i>Rush Hour</i> movies and <i>X Men: The Final Stand</i>) dismissed a filmmaker's one minute short because its use of text on the screen was too arty. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY9Ka3GthrUgUFkastbdHOj8iabKTLDSlYeQszDwAnxZCta7QBm87WNB2_Cu5sDyb_yh5MFVaeBBRZZqjFCapiW9xUqKPsyRP0q-XmQQ8OtZbjjlScn-K_NB8MPe1AEotJqZqGbT0TvbE/s1600-h/stevpost1.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY9Ka3GthrUgUFkastbdHOj8iabKTLDSlYeQszDwAnxZCta7QBm87WNB2_Cu5sDyb_yh5MFVaeBBRZZqjFCapiW9xUqKPsyRP0q-XmQQ8OtZbjjlScn-K_NB8MPe1AEotJqZqGbT0TvbE/s320/stevpost1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070590260561424658" /></a>Ratner said it was "style over substance." My friend pointed out that this text complaint means Ratner would likely hate my own movie <i>Later That Stevening</i>.<br /><br />Curious as to how the consensus-defining Internet was reacting to Ratner's criticism, I did a combined google search on the terms "brett ratner" and "style over substance". Instead of getting anything related to the show, I ended up with dozens of links to reviews accusing Ratner's own movies of their style over substance. <br /><br />This would be a poetic justice, except how is it even possible? How much discernable style do Ratner's movies possess? And how is it overwhelming the substance? Isn't the whole point of getting Brett Ratner to direct a movie that it isn't going to be personalized?<br /><br />Saying that a movie is style over substance is a bizarre complaint anyway. I can't think of many movie-smart people I've ever heard say this. Interpreting style reveals substance. The two are connected most of the time. In cases where they aren't entirely, the issue of the "style over substance" charge is really just that the movie doesn't contain adequate substance. So the style is a virtue. If you take the style away too, you're not left with much. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRsfcHmU_NQxi92AzghhI11rY-LBAvgDIK4BwWiKwtRDdA1yiemlhpa0MS9Px7l2pBgont5DrlEa_i5o6hOMLC6bMGlLvbOZZmVGMDQ7TtaRdDIuFpzSsry18GlQMw1kBccVKR9Ckf578/s1600-h/photo_08_hires.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRsfcHmU_NQxi92AzghhI11rY-LBAvgDIK4BwWiKwtRDdA1yiemlhpa0MS9Px7l2pBgont5DrlEa_i5o6hOMLC6bMGlLvbOZZmVGMDQ7TtaRdDIuFpzSsry18GlQMw1kBccVKR9Ckf578/s320/photo_08_hires.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070590952051159330" /></a> Ridley Scott's <i>Kingdom of Heaven</i>, for example, is a letdown thematically and conceptually. But it's a gorgeous movie. Every frame looks like a painting. The filmmaking style isn't a detriment, it's the major thing the movie has going for it. <br /><br />THE "STYLE OVER SUBSTANCE" STYLE MOVIE REVIEWERS ARE WRONG! In my opinion.Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-16018199257252056572007-05-11T18:09:00.000-03:002007-06-04T14:53:04.114-03:00Wearing Movies Like Prada<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg005KDq46VeyTrcvn-fN0wOTfEKa4i5oyeww2upL27Bl_Ti3u-MDlEfKYDYmgHjriFegNAr3IA299Y8s5Fh4LqcDlV0jYfNgzZgxQxwQWh8esH_MEz2pg52gE7ZS5V-028E1elEcMM5kE/s1600-h/Hollywood-symbol.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg005KDq46VeyTrcvn-fN0wOTfEKa4i5oyeww2upL27Bl_Ti3u-MDlEfKYDYmgHjriFegNAr3IA299Y8s5Fh4LqcDlV0jYfNgzZgxQxwQWh8esH_MEz2pg52gE7ZS5V-028E1elEcMM5kE/s320/Hollywood-symbol.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5063436335434422690" /></a><br />So last night I'm sitting in a gourmet hamburger restaurant on Hollywood Blvd. thinking hard about the usual LA concerns--money, networking, my abs--when a small posse walks in. Beyond the nobodies that make up 5/7 of that group is Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman.<br /><br />"Excuse me," Kimmel says approaching my table. "Have I seen you in anything?"<br /><br />"Yes, I get that a lot," I reply, trying to sound as polite as I can.<br /><br />"<i>Grindhouse</i>, right?. You're Freddy Rodriguez." <br /><br />As Rodriguez has stolen my beard style and haircut, yet looks a whole foot shorter than me, I find this vaguely insulting.<br /><br />"No. I'm not Freddy Rodriguez."<br /><br />"Are you sure? From <i>Planet Terror</i>, Robert Rodriguez's half of <i>Grindhouse</i>. Oh man, it's great. You need to see it."<br /><br />On a sociological level, what's most interesting about this exchange (which may or may not have transpired exactly as documented) is the way Kimmel made no effort to conceal his love of <i>Planet Terror</i>. He wanted me to know he loved it. People try to shape their image through telling people what movies they love. <br /><br />It's that whole thing about checking out your girlfriend's CD collection before judging whether she's worth your time. Except that music purchases are less reliable. Just because I took a chance on buying something doesn't mean I like it. It doesn't compare to the utility of including 35 titles on my MySpace top movies listing.<br /><br />It's not worth anything to like a movie if others don't know how cool that makes you. That's why people wouldn't stop telling me how great they thought <i>Little Miss Sunshine</i> was. It's a sensibility that says, "Not only is this movie off the beaten path of my viewing habits, it defines me."<br /><br />This is one of the reasons I don't like arguing movies with people I don't know. Beloved films become so tied in to one's identity that it's like arguing religion. People like what they like. I found <i>The Royal Tenenbaums</i> shrill and precious, but when I debated its merits with a friend it was like convincing him he was worshipping a false god.<br /><br />Here's a true story: A couple weeks ago I was on a roadtrip with a bigtime filmmaker, his girlfriend, and a British guy who unforgiveably tried to cockblock me later that afternoon, but failed, so I can't be too upset. <br /><br />Anyway, we have the radio on, and some sleazy film journalist is interviewing the director of a popular new English take on American buddy-action films. The interviewer comments that he thinks it was funny that the police force in said movie is called NWA--based of course on the trend setting gangsta rap unit.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPXYigEhKrroArlQ9j7yR5uDpSXa9JFtzuUlL9RNVFJctlNJGwtSBap1bwxzUY-8fAwl1t6LLEvMqNO1NcZhUtvc30krOM1RlUvZsHM56Y6HjIFJoDU0_uZ04O1sAPlSpS8mX-i5KW_6s/s1600-h/Hot_Fuzz.413493.full.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPXYigEhKrroArlQ9j7yR5uDpSXa9JFtzuUlL9RNVFJctlNJGwtSBap1bwxzUY-8fAwl1t6LLEvMqNO1NcZhUtvc30krOM1RlUvZsHM56Y6HjIFJoDU0_uZ04O1sAPlSpS8mX-i5KW_6s/s320/Hot_Fuzz.413493.full.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5063436528707951026" /></a>"Yeah," the director responds. "I wanted to have a scene where somebody says "F-the Police", but they already used that joke in [$30 million-grossing biker movie that the director sitting in the car directed]."<br /><br />"Holy shit!," the car passengers exclaim in near unison. This guy knows his modern B-movie history.<br /><br />"Now we're getting into the classics," the snide interviewer says.<br /><br />"[$30 million-grossing biker movie] is one of the greatest bad movies ever," clarifies the English director.<br /><br />Now, I get a clear impression that this unnamed director is a fan of this unnamed movie. (Both are unnamed because as a reader of this blog, I like to keep you working hard for my insightful rewards.) Yet he's still hiding under the veil that this movie is ultimately a guilty pleasure.<br /><br />Funny thing about people who qualify some movies as guilty pleasures: You can't trust them.<br /><br />"Guilty pleasure" is one of the most overused terms in the popular film lexicon. Like "The worst movie ever made," which I suppose is the opposite of "The worst movie ever not made." It's a free ticket to snobbery. What kind of hypersensitive fool would feel guilt for liking a movie? It goes back to the film as fashion issue: Movies as identity projection.<br /><br />"Well, I have a guilty pleasure," British cockblocker adds to our debate. "<i>Troy</i>. As a kid I always liked those kind of sweeping epics, which is what this movie reminded me of."<br /><br />"That isn't a guilty pleasure," filmmaker counters.<br /><br />"It's MY guilty pleasure." <br /><br />"Why are you guilty about liking <i>Troy</i>?," I ask.<br /><br />"Because it isn't very good."<br /><br />"So what?"<br /><br />The thing is, if a Hollywood movie gives you "pleasure" it probably isn't worth feeling guilty about. And in most cases, people who call these films guilty pleasures are just trying to disassociate themselves from the way they look by liking them. It's a way of kowtowing to society's standards of what's good and what's bad.<br /><br />If you're willing to tell people you barely know that it's a guilty pleasure, it isn't a real guilty pleasure. It's not like saying you fuck sheep or fantasize about eating shit off Scarlett Johansson's chest.<br /><br />"Well, I have a real guilty pleasure this time," British, basically good-natured, guy qualifies. "The movie <i>Dune</i>."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4bpuXMVe_abTdr0mGkUzkVsHsqz1N802Y4gVl9Xq9KThswi8w9qkpquFnGXWxTrA6qwcL8oIGZKBJ0EYwaQGmbE67tkB4WbV8QRQKZhMUeau_0vGUreaF5KG58QT2gFyRG0qy8XQHHgw/s1600-h/dune5g.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4bpuXMVe_abTdr0mGkUzkVsHsqz1N802Y4gVl9Xq9KThswi8w9qkpquFnGXWxTrA6qwcL8oIGZKBJ0EYwaQGmbE67tkB4WbV8QRQKZhMUeau_0vGUreaF5KG58QT2gFyRG0qy8XQHHgw/s320/dune5g.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5063436880895269314" /></a><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjdVZClAlwKtAssQ5tAquN4W9QzI61KaKYnj1S9vtp8lp48hqMl75Syx0LtvCyzGHjINZhrdE-0vZ00Dlc3Y8BaVCH2ow0pBJclyHvSJR9DEOp0ptvmBnglgFxv2F3iF4pZ8ZpuoDtkqg/s1600-h/idle_hands_ver1.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjdVZClAlwKtAssQ5tAquN4W9QzI61KaKYnj1S9vtp8lp48hqMl75Syx0LtvCyzGHjINZhrdE-0vZ00Dlc3Y8BaVCH2ow0pBJclyHvSJR9DEOp0ptvmBnglgFxv2F3iF4pZ8ZpuoDtkqg/s320/idle_hands_ver1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5063437147183241682" /></a><br /><br /><br />I'm not sure when we became so self-conscious about how movies look on us. I have absolute faith in my tastes in movies. Afterall, they're mine. But I also won't deny that I've seen <i>Idle Hands</i> and <i>Not Another Teen Movie</i> probably a combined dozen times.<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp0-Giqztfr8xrZ_UsKrHpnHMCGFYE9S0xSYebBTdDfjB9eJpcNLDvwsocQMbHUwXBVgGjTeLtS8p8EgpHSmrTGFWFiMr2Awl_KBCxQZJeaJiuNYSBXzqcpOFyk-ElrOK3FQvhpqy1XDU/s1600-h/2001_not_another_teen_movie_006.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp0-Giqztfr8xrZ_UsKrHpnHMCGFYE9S0xSYebBTdDfjB9eJpcNLDvwsocQMbHUwXBVgGjTeLtS8p8EgpHSmrTGFWFiMr2Awl_KBCxQZJeaJiuNYSBXzqcpOFyk-ElrOK3FQvhpqy1XDU/s320/2001_not_another_teen_movie_006.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5063437465010821602" /></a><br /><br />The worst instances of guilty pleasure discussions come when people try to show how absolutely superior their taste is by condescending to a universally lauded film as something beneath them. Example: "I only watch Fellini and Antonioni films, but when I just want to relax, <i>Casablanca</i> will do... you know, as a guilty pleasure."<br /><br />What's interesting is that the fashion statement aspect of movies has reached a stage where movies are now consciously defining their viewers. <br /><br />By the mid 90s there was a surge of action films with interchangeable, but no-nonsense titles like <i>Maximum Risk</i>, <i>Sudden Impact</i>, <i>Executive Decision</i>. Those films sound like brute cologne. And there was a market for that stuff that lasted about 5 years.<br /><br />But the funniest instances are with recent Women's Films. There has not been a more expertly titled movie in the past year than <i>Because I Said So</i>--the mother/daughter Diane Keaton/Mandy Moore Thing. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHvCBMSJWvcDPXiBpEda1Dr8EBCNfMEHRP5Ndm1TeAVKQd-tkEfhje6WU2x8cHK_8bGDOQSO4EekLr0u-BwuMdDg2bUOag5ULC9t_xxuXZCyjSM2tqMWllJzahMybec7V-aCKjSDmh5aY/s1600-h/becauseisaidso.gif"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHvCBMSJWvcDPXiBpEda1Dr8EBCNfMEHRP5Ndm1TeAVKQd-tkEfhje6WU2x8cHK_8bGDOQSO4EekLr0u-BwuMdDg2bUOag5ULC9t_xxuXZCyjSM2tqMWllJzahMybec7V-aCKjSDmh5aY/s320/becauseisaidso.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5063437666874284530" /></a>I don't even know what that title has to do with the movie (and I've seen the thing), but it speaks very specifically to a female audience. <i>Something's Gotta Give</i> has a title that falls into the same camp of comfort films for women who can't get the respect they want from men. Soon we'll be seeing <i>You Promised to Call</i>, <i>I Told You Already</i>, and the urban equivalent <i>Oh No You Didn't</i>.Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4587617789284704306.post-12553163579421611512007-05-01T15:22:00.000-03:002007-05-01T20:01:19.957-03:00Pop comfort"You don't feel at all sorry for Britney?," Joseph asks the teenage girl sitting at our table on the first day of Coachella.<br /><br />"No!! Why? She messed herself up. And she didn't donate anything to help out after Katrina."<br /><br />Joseph nods--a nod of acceptance rather than agreement. The girl doesn't know that this is Joseph Kahn, someone who helped shape Britney's pop image in her heyday.<br /><br />I do feel sorry for Britney Spears. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtxr6LQ_UzcXp9OhcTUek5SEakVCN-i6TkdNlPTmqjd7L7mjTvZ0Nb_hBws10uoSgrS402YPAZ7OmAp5TJzky8HLmZp4oqXUDOwYC3ndwVkVhsVjVlYEDh4KihvsEf_ee3nMUYnk75zsA/s1600-h/Britney_Spears_6_-_new_promo_gallery_-_lg.6537487.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtxr6LQ_UzcXp9OhcTUek5SEakVCN-i6TkdNlPTmqjd7L7mjTvZ0Nb_hBws10uoSgrS402YPAZ7OmAp5TJzky8HLmZp4oqXUDOwYC3ndwVkVhsVjVlYEDh4KihvsEf_ee3nMUYnk75zsA/s320/Britney_Spears_6_-_new_promo_gallery_-_lg.6537487.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5059682675751639442" /></a><br /><br />It's less a mere case of her abandoning her fans than it is of her fans turning their back on her product. Everybody needs somebody to hate. It's a fool's version of self-worth. Celebrities are prime targets because it's easy to not look at them as real people. Those with success are the easiest targets of scorn. When the world's impotence gets directed at Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan, of course it makes them lose their minds. They're built as products by the people, and destroyed with even more glee. <br /><br />If I walk down a busy street in Halifax, maybe 1 in 100 people will let me know they recognize me from that drawing in The Coast where I look like a stoned Rabbi. Everybody in the world knows who Britney Spears is. <br /><br />You're also responsible for killing Anna Nicole Smith.<br /><br />As I wrote in my review of <i>Vacancy</i>, our Culture of Celebrity is also a Culture of Death.<br /><br />After the Britney Spears chat at Coachella, we got up to see Peeping Tom, Mike <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQAADUXjDl9iSb7a6WVEab0HfWMSRqJyojLoMn_Lj_qk2plThrOUIGib3tDXe5E6_bIxyADoHZRX9dLHGoruV64OYtTuF2sFqHC1b3JVXyd699Tj2ivGlEbmGrZn7D4w0417VWMxQfHiU/s1600-h/DSCF2897.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQAADUXjDl9iSb7a6WVEab0HfWMSRqJyojLoMn_Lj_qk2plThrOUIGib3tDXe5E6_bIxyADoHZRX9dLHGoruV64OYtTuF2sFqHC1b3JVXyd699Tj2ivGlEbmGrZn7D4w0417VWMxQfHiU/s320/DSCF2897.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5059678960604928370" /></a>Patton's most recent musical act. Peeping Tom's CD is ok, but on stage they're really on fire. Patton's variation of cooing, barking metal, and Jim Carrey elasticity is backed up with a female chorus and Dan the Automator. <br /><br />"You guys want to hear a funny joke?," Patton shouts into the crowd. "The Arctic Monkeys!" <br /><br />But this represents a troubling pop attitude as well. Speaking as a Patton fan, and someone who 8 years ago would identify as a big Patton fan, I'm troubled by the tendency to place the artistic value of one brand of pop music over another, based on its compatibility with a person's taste. Patton is a master at what he does, but the artistry involved calls more attention to itself than what Kelly Clarkson does. It's the whole Spielberg-dilemma: The filmmaking mastery is often invisible, so dull critics assume it isn't there. <br /><br />Just as it was necessary to digitally adjust the size of Clarkson's booty in a video, Mike Patton delivers to an audience that expects a certain thing. It's a hard style of music to catch on to, but once you manage it becomes comfortable. A real challenge for Patton's listeners would be to give them a song that could make them cry.<br /><br />The same goes for Bjork, who headlined that night. First stepping out on stage wearing a dress flowing from a white, spotted cushion hat, that made her look like a cross between ancient royalty and the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man, she got the crowd into her weird trance with her new single "Earth Intruders." <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihfrX0CP_AideatUxldzaT_vQwJff4l_XYi7pj05_lfmReZmYi57AIHjXrNcQDb4R-c5mXFG4mrgWLvepuLkKFKWmnB2AyjmlfVXYuhWZq7OnQPScfHrgPnp7vxhkZOeNH7iX063WSclE/s1600-h/xin_19040429084143914721.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihfrX0CP_AideatUxldzaT_vQwJff4l_XYi7pj05_lfmReZmYi57AIHjXrNcQDb4R-c5mXFG4mrgWLvepuLkKFKWmnB2AyjmlfVXYuhWZq7OnQPScfHrgPnp7vxhkZOeNH7iX063WSclE/s320/xin_19040429084143914721.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5059680897635178882" /></a>Surrounded by a sea of people, I looked around me to see what other Bjork fans look like. I was expecting something weirder; they're the general Coachella population. Bjork was giving us our anticipated dose of Icelandic quirk... exactly what we want from a Bjork concert.<br /><br />After certain songs she would enthusiastically intone into the microphone a too-cute, "Zhank you!!" <br /><br />It was a great performance, but I was more challenged trying to make my way out of the crowd to get an early start on the parking lot exodus than I was by anything on stage. (A plan which turned out to be completely futile, since finding where you parked at Coachella is the reason Al Gore invented the needle in the haystack analogy.) <br /><br />It felt like a half-mile walk out of that crowd. The three most difficult factors with trying to squeeze out of a festival performance early are the assholes who will do anything to not let you by, not knowing how frequently you're expected to say "Excuse me," and avoiding the stoned people that think it's smart to lie on the ground at night. Girl I stepped on: I'm sorry, but you're stupid.<br /><br />The music from the stage was a strangeness that felt much more comfortable.Mark Palermohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09834848355885871487noreply@blogger.com4